i am going to be singing that all night now you fecker
as if it weren't bad enough being at work.

after a 5 hour drive.

because a COW got onto the m6 and decided to cavort around there for a few hours.

this sounds funnier than it was, believe me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:23, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Get out your seat, and jump around!
Udderly ridiculous traffic issue
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:24, Reply)

no i am too stroppy for that
there was also traffic all down the m40 where there is never any traffic. how can there be traffic when all you have to do is drive IN A STRAIGHT LINE. the country is full of morons.

also my friends who drive me mad with their constant relationship crises have decided to cement it.... by getting a puppy....... i smell doom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:26, Reply)

When it goes wrong for them, I'll 'look after' the dog.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:27, Reply)

Jeff you nonce.
It's just a puppy!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:30, Reply)

quite funny though
i have to give him that. for once.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

For once?
Yeah, right.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:32, Reply)

you should just be glad that i am willing to give you one
lots of men would pay a fortune for that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:33, Reply)

That's because you'll tell them it's legal advice.
Thus the MASSIVE FEE.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

the odd one gets it pro boner

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:40, Reply)

You being the pro, yes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

that would make you the boner in this example

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:51, Reply)

Cock.
I didn't think of that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:13, Reply)

's'ok
it was blindingly obvious to everyone else
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:15, Reply)

Dogs age 7 times quicker than humans, the grooming period will be very short.
18 months it'll be legal.*

*Well, dog-fucking isn't exactly legal, but don't let it be said that I don't have standards.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:32, Reply)

walkies?

( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

really sodding glad I'm journeying back from Scotchland by train
Sorry but that is very funny. Mooooo.
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:29, Reply)

yeah well, not as funny as you fisting yourself
so off you go........
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:30, Reply)

not in front of my pay-per-view webcam yet
I don't lube up to the wrist for less than two thousand daaahling
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:33, Reply)

as if
any of us believe your gaping cavern and tiny fairy fingers require lube
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

aha
that's why I have to use a prosthetic stunt anus
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:39, Reply)

my my
a treat for the eyes and the mind
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

the internet is a disturbing place
Tread lightly all ye who enter. Pun intended.
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:43, Reply)

as a very general rule
if you have to explain your joke, it wasn't funny. if you have to say "i am witty", you aren't funny.

can we agree on this?

then maybe i will admit that you made the corner of my mouth turn up half a millimetre with that one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:47, Reply)

If you have to explain it, it's not funny.
Is the second rule of comedy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:48, Reply)

the exception to the general rule
is that your audience is composed of retarded fuckwits
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:51, Reply)

Timing
Yes, I gladly concede to your comedic lesson.
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:52, Reply)

good stuff
10/10 on the folding like a cheap t-shirt, would bully again
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:54, Reply)

I like cheap t-shirts
I get ready for bed every night like Hulk Hogan
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:57, Reply)

having seen bash pics
the only resemblance i can see is a hint of green skin. is that what you meant?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:01, Reply)

By climbing onto the nightstand
and leaping onto the unconscious muscle mary lying prone on the bed?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:04, Reply)

You're close
I put on a bandana and convince myself that I'm not actually completely bald.
( djtrialprice, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:08, Reply)

this is even more disturbing
than the plastic arse
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Swipey should have told the mad cow to
Mooooo-ve.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

enough of this bullshit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:32, Reply)

I'm gonna 'milk it' for all it's worth.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:33, Reply)

pull the udder one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:35, Reply)

... It's got bells on.
Why do cows wear bells?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

For cow herding purposes?

(berk, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:37, Reply)

No!
It's because their horns don't work, silly.

But you knew that, didn't you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:39, Reply)

urgh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

What's with the urgh?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:42, Reply)

shit joke is shit!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:46, Reply)

Shit joke is shit!
shit COW PAT.

I know that isn't funny in the slightest
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 21:50, Reply)