The Groom doesn't really traditionally make a speech
He just thanks everyone for coming, the bride for turning up and the parents for having the daughter.

I just gave a few gifts out and said thanks.

My best man was a cunt. He had made a booklet of all my hair and clothing disasters of the last 25 years and stuck one under each chair.
( Peej, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:44, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Magnificent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Our speeches go like this:
"Thanks for coming everyone, really good of you, lovely to see you, nice day, eh? We're very happy, it's all great. Thanks again, especially to CHCB's parents who paid for the band and Catface's parents who did the cake. Woo. Yay"

Actually, scrap that, I want Gonz to write my speech.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I'm not looking forward to the speech
particularly since last time I saw my dad he was insisting that it was the solemn duty of the speechmakers to be thoroughly entertaining and hilarious.

Says the cunt who spent his entire working life stood up in front of people talking.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Nov 2010, 10:56, Reply)