I would say my maternal grandmother but quite frankly I think it's better that she stays alive for as long as possible so she can suffer with our total disregard for her.
I know it's killing her that she can't get herself involved in our lives anymore.

Good morning btw. I burn my finger last night with drunken shennanigans but I can still type Woo!
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Were you trying to fire a rocket out of your bum?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

No, I was making a veggie bacon sammich.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Then you thoroughly deserve it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

You need to remember safety bacon sammiches.
Bacon crisps and brown sauce inna sarnie. No burns. Most bacon crisps are veggie friendly.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I don't like bacon crisps. They're too bacony.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Didn't you read that H&S recommendation, on the papers, a few months ago?
If you are going to drink, make sure you cook your food before hand. It all came because a guy burned his house down trying to heat a curry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:17, Reply)

One lad my friend goes to Uni with caused smoke damage throughout his parents house
He decided he wanted to make chicken strips, heated the oil up, put the chicken in, sat down, and fell asleep. Woke up in hospital.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I've always thought it's not a good idea
to cook anything more complicated than a pizza if you're drunk.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Friction burn?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Good morning, prety!
How did you burn your finger? Where you drinking dragon's breath? (I'm sure it has a different name here, but I'm sure too you get the idea)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Dragon's breath?

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

It's a shot
and you fire it up before drinking it. You have to drink it when the flame is still going, before it burns all the alcohol.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)