Morning Oaties
I drank too much and stayed up too late last night - no surprises there - but tea and weetabix have sorted me out for now.

I fear I may run out of steam by lunchtime, though. How are you doing this fine day?

altQ: If you had to choose between giving up your favourite vice or seeing a family member in front of a firing squad, which family member would you choose?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 7:51, 264 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I would put my mother in front of a firing squad and would give up the booze in exchange.
Funnily enough it's the old cunt's birthday today. Ha ha.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 7:53, Reply)

Send her a giftwrapped turd
and keep the booze.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:00, Reply)

This will give you an idea of why a turd in the post is nowhere near enough
www.b3ta.com/questions/helicopterparents/post519195
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

Sheesh
I'll get a squad together.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

My grandmother
as she's 96 and frankly at that age there's not much in life you can do that makes you happy...she dies and is at peace, I get to keep my favourite vice, it's a clear win-win, much as I love her.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:00, Reply)

the joy of expendable relatives

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Yup,
always good to have one who will take a bullet...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:23, Reply)

I'm pretty sure
I will have run out of steam by the time I even get in to work; I stayed up very late (for me) and then was woken up by my washing machine making a terrifying 'nom nom nom I'm eating all your clothes' noise around 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. I was already tired and now I'm fucking knackered.
It would probably have to either be my nana, as she's 97 and hasn't the faintet clue whats going on or who any of her family are - personally I think it's cruel to keep a body alive when the mind has fucked off entirely - or my stepbrother Darren, who is a cunt.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

Were you climbing your man mountain last night?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:17, Reply)

*sigh*
No. There is no mountain. Anything you may have heard to the contrary is lies.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:21, Reply)

so it's completely flat?
like a field that one might be playing?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:22, Reply)

I really am too tired and grumpy to be teased about this today.

(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:26, Reply)

You'd better go before Jeff gets here then : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

You really shouldn't have told us that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

What happened with the washing machine?
Did you lose all your clothes?

I was so happy because the washing machine managed to get rid of a difficult stain on one of my favourite trousers, and I'm wearing them today. Then, a cunt in a car managed to splash dirty water all over them, even when I was more than a meter far from the kerb.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)

God I don't want to ponder this one too long
I'm an only child and everyone's going to get old around me and I'll probably be expected to mind them all. I'll have to emigrate.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

emigrate have a wank
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

have give them
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:21, Reply)

Often a solution to life's woes.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:22, Reply)

+lords prayer

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I'm the youngest of 7
I've got a lot to choose from
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I would say my maternal grandmother but quite frankly I think it's better that she stays alive for as long as possible so she can suffer with our total disregard for her.
I know it's killing her that she can't get herself involved in our lives anymore.

Good morning btw. I burn my finger last night with drunken shennanigans but I can still type Woo!
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Were you trying to fire a rocket out of your bum?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

No, I was making a veggie bacon sammich.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Then you thoroughly deserve it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

You need to remember safety bacon sammiches.
Bacon crisps and brown sauce inna sarnie. No burns. Most bacon crisps are veggie friendly.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I don't like bacon crisps. They're too bacony.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Didn't you read that H&S recommendation, on the papers, a few months ago?
If you are going to drink, make sure you cook your food before hand. It all came because a guy burned his house down trying to heat a curry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:17, Reply)

One lad my friend goes to Uni with caused smoke damage throughout his parents house
He decided he wanted to make chicken strips, heated the oil up, put the chicken in, sat down, and fell asleep. Woke up in hospital.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I've always thought it's not a good idea
to cook anything more complicated than a pizza if you're drunk.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Friction burn?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Good morning, prety!
How did you burn your finger? Where you drinking dragon's breath? (I'm sure it has a different name here, but I'm sure too you get the idea)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Dragon's breath?

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

It's a shot
and you fire it up before drinking it. You have to drink it when the flame is still going, before it burns all the alcohol.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I had a rotten night, sleep wise, and I have already run out of steam.
I'm surving on rhubarb and custard sweets, until lunchtime.

Alt Q. Feel free to shoot any member of my family, I ain't giving up nothing.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

My cousin Bryn,
the spoiled little shite. I say little, he'll be 20 by now, but I haven't seen him since he was 12. Because he's a spoiled shite who expects everything to fall into his lap, as his parents have led him to believe it will by conveniently placing everything he ever wanted in his lap.

Unfortunately he's studying Ancient History at Exeter so after graduation the only thing that will fall in his lap will be a McDonald's uniform
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Sounds like Lampito's type
The Ancient History I mean, not the spoiled shit
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I'm not introducing them, thank you
Firstly because then I'd have to see him, and secondly because I might end up related to her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

but if you were related to her then she would become eligible for LiC's firing squad question

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I like your logic
but I'm sticking with my original answer. And I don't want to go to EXETER. Have you seen the mongs who live there?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I've never been to Exeter
doesn't my long distance lover live there?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:27, Reply)

'xactly
I am in no way jealous of your fancying him and his colossal beard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I would like to point out here
that the only bad thing about Exeter is the students (and the chavs)

otherwise it is a lovely place.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

In all honesty
I've only been to Exeter once and only saw the Uni campus, which I actually thoroughly liked. Any excuse to have a pop at you though, eh

Morning, by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

morning
the campus looks lovely. The students are all awful cunts.

it is a very nice place. Other than Wells it is the least city like city I've been to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Is Wells a city?!
I was led to believe that every single Exeter student was someone who failed to get into Oxbridge, making them not only unjustifiably arrogant and pompous but also bitter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

You should try visiting Durham
it is about 70% Oxbridge rejects, 10% foreign and 20% people who actually wanted to go there.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

So, you're Foreign?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I've just woken up after fifteen hours sleep
I have no idea what's wrong with me but my whole body aches like fuck and it feels like my right arm is about to fall off. It's probably AIDs.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

It's always Aids.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:35, Reply)

Probably lurgy
I haven't spoken to you for yonks. What's the situation with the transfer?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:35, Reply)

Dunno, my old English teacher is helping me out with it all, he's ace.
Gotta get my application off today and he hasn't emailed my personal statement back that I sent him the numpty. Two of my flatmates have been in bed throwing up all week so I suppose it's only a matter of time before I am too. Urgh.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

As a nondoctor, I can confirm it is AIDS.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

I can tell you that it's not Lupus
It's never Lupus
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:51, Reply)

you told him too early
we're supposed to only realise it's not Lupus when he's at death's door.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)

I'm a maverick
I don't play by the rules of the internet forum medical drama fanboy society
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Haha Wire/House crossover

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)

All I need now is to reveal that I'm a Cylon
and we'll have the set
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Not too bad thanks Cockneck
Bacon butty and a bottle of lucozade, and I'm ready to face the world. Can't really be arsed though.

Alt Q: I'd put my Mum in front of a firing squad, she could be target practice for them! What?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:37, Reply)

What ho.
I'd give up my favourite vice. My family are lovely to a (wo)man.

But can I keep the firing squad to use on other people's families please?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I'd choose the Mugabe family

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:41, Reply)

No way, I like them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:42, Reply)

How about the Mandelson family then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Mr & Mrs Tatchell and their delightful son.
Just thinking about Peter Tatchell's face is ruining my morning.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Ahh, good old Peter
I hope he gets raped with a cactus
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I'm surprised that no-one has touched on this
What exactly is your favourite vice, Monty? Please be slightly more specific/creative than "massive drugs"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:52, Reply)

He's actually a closet bumder

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

It’s rather hard to choose, if I am honest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Hence my interest
/popcorn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)

My all-time favourite is DMT,
I'm also a huge supporter of 2CI and 2CB, I have something of a love/hate relationship with cocaine. Psilocybin and LSD I love, but I've not had acid more than 3 or four times in the last 15 years. I love high-grade hashish and, although it's rather vulgar, I do have a soft spot for insanely strong skunk - as a day-to-day smoke I prefer Thai. I do like alcohol but it's probably the nastiest for me of all my vices. I like smoking opium too but that I do very, very rarely.

Of course, the abduction, murder and subsequent eating of homeless children remains the vice I love more than any other.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Do you find the Asian kids have a more spicy flavour?
Much like a subtle marinade.

I would love some 2CB, i've heard only good things about it.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

B is better than I if you're a tripper rather than an E-head, but both are great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

2CI
Details please. Never tried it and although I've heard a little about it, said information has usually come from the more monged end of my associate spectrum and is therefore not to be trusted
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I've had this
it didn't really do much, so maybe I didn't take enough. It was a bit trippy and stuff, but nowhere near as strong as LSD.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I have a feeling you must have had an old/stale tablet.
Every time I have taken I or B I've found the dosage of one pill to be spot-on. I last had 2CI on Boxing Day two years ago at a house party and was out of my tiny mind - my vision was bollocksed completely and I am fairly certain I was talking complete shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)

this was at a festival and it was a weird hippy who sold it to us on extra strong mints
so I have no idea of the validity of them.

I have yet to try Salvia, I quite like the idea of the effects of LSD for fifteen minutes and then complete normalcy again. That's what puts me off drugs, you've got to be committed for the next 24 hours.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

DMT is for you.
The main effect lasts no more than 5-10 minutes.

But fuck me - those minutes are incredible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I like the sound of this.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I am evangelical about it.
It's very expensive but is without a shadow of a doubt the most incredible substance I have ever taken. You smoke it, by the way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I would be interested in this
are there after effects? come down type thing?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Each time I have smoked it
afterwards I have felt as if my mind has been spring-cleaned. I've felt happy and positive - and frankly flabbergasted at the intensity of what I've experienced. I would rate it 100000/10.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

that sounds pretty good
I've heard similar about mescaline as well I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Mecaline is basically mushrooms.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I was growing a san pedro cactus (cousin of peyote) when at uni
didn't grow enough for me to be able to reap the rewards though, so had to make do with my homegrown mushrooms instead.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Apparantly those peyote cactii take a long time to fruit properly
Over a decade in most cases
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:05, Reply)

they are definitely slow growing
particularly in the Welsh climate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Yeah I would like a go on mescaline.
Burroughs and Huxley both can't be wrong.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

or Dave Wyndorff from Monster Magnet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I've had green, chewy mescaline tablets
Very nice too. Not a patch on DMT though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

sounds good
the comedown from last weekend is one of the worst I've experienced. Normally I don't really feel the effects of the depleted seratonin but Monday and Tuesday I was miserable as fuck.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I tend to get a comedown from just having a really good weekend on the booze and spliffs
so I'd be fucked if I took pills and stuff regularly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I can no longer take MDMA
Never, ever again - it makes me miserable as sin afterwards. I have taken ounces of the stuff over the years but I know it's no longer something I can cope with, aftermath-wise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I'm starting to lean that way
I don't do it very often so I wouldn't miss it anyway, but I think Wiggy wishes I would do it more often as he likes to go mad at the weekends, but I have far too much to do at the weekends to be off my face for half of it and recovering for the other half. I only did a bomb as well.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Try sourcing some 5-HTP, you get it from health food shops etc
take this in the week leading up to a 'happy weekend', it has the effect of increasing the available seratonin, so you should have some left over after the fact.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

'It's too late for me, son.'
I am the Darth Vader of ecstasy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Of course LSD varies so, so much depending on the batch.
I've had some you could (and I did) take 8 of - others where one blotter would annihilate you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I've only done it once to see what it was like
I don't know if I'd do it again. I had two sugar cubes of it and everything went all melty, but I didn't fully hallucinate. I wonder if that's because I was still coherent enough to realise that it was the LCD messing with me rather than believing I was actually seeing those things.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I only ever got visual distortion, patterns etc on the whole
I only ever really hallucinated a couple of times, whereas my brother...every time he was away with the fairies.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Maybe it's because we're not prone to suspending belief
I'm always conscious of what's real and what's not.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

yeah, I found that calculator screens messed with my head too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

haha what the fuck was I thinking?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I constantly ask myself that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Me too.
'What WAS Kitty thinking', I say to myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:10, Reply)

LSD, like shrooms can provide incredibly profound insights
and make you piss yourself laughing. LSD, as Monty said, is very hard to guage without taking it first. Liberty cap shrooms are easy to guage and the dosage can be as specific as you wish. Being in control is a very good aspect to hold onto while you are being blown from your earthly moorings.

Unlike LSD, the comedown from shrooms is usually very peaceful and you end up at baseline with no gnashing of teeth, tears or snotters.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:56, Reply)

the comedown from shrooms has been as enjoyable as the high in some of my experiences
peaceful and calm and full of happiness.

also the lack of sensation thing meant that drinking hot chocolate was like a shot of chocolate taste straight to the brain.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

That last part sounds awesome

(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

it really was
part of one of the best weeks of my life.

was at Roskilde Festival in Denmark with about 20 friends. We only encountered 2 other English people all week and spent almost every day on mushrooms and chain smoking spliffs.

It was fabulous. The drugs over there were amazing. Had 4 mushroom stalks the first day and I am actually concerned that I will never get that high again it was so good. The shrooms were outrageously strong.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Never had shrooms
or indeed most drugs bar weed more than once or twice.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Shrooms are best had out in the country
in the sun.

Most of my experiences have been amazing, but the last one was shit. I got paranoid (which I blame on my mates), bored if you can believe it, and the best part of the night was when I blacked out while smoking a joint and staring at the sky. I totally tripped out, fell over and hit my face. I also landed in a plant pot and got water all over me so I got paranoid it would make me piss myself.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Couldn't agree more about the outdoor aspect
Most of my shroom experience have been indoors, at night, with music or films to trip out on. This is all well and good and has spawned some incredible evenings. Particularly watching the Monkees film, Head then straight onto Koyaanisqatsi.

However, being out in the sun, is simply overwhelming. Clouds in particular are something of a life changing experience, and trees, and fields and whatever else happens to be about.

The best experience I have had on shrooms was in the lake District and my pal took me to Wasdale, and we sat across from the monumental scree slopes and totally tripped right out. To the point where I began to freak out I was getting so high. The multilayered clouds would explode into impossible fractals everytime I glanced at them and the rough sand we were sitting on, and which I was pouring from hand to hand was transforming into glowing multifaceted jewels, every single one I could see in perfect detail, despite their tiny size.

Double thumbs up, what a day!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:33, Reply)

that's the sort of thing I love
sounds excellent.

I recall sitting outside the dance tent at Roskilde feeling like the bass was an enormous creature approaching from behind me.

Every time I shut my eyes I'd see this vivid orange colour and start feeling like I was accelerating until I was racing forwards at incredible speed. Then the colours would start cycling and it'd seem like I was caning it over this weird landscape just made of colour.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Bass monsters ftw

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I hate cocaine
and ket. It's the administration, I hate snorting things, it just feels horrid.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

ketamine just doesn't sound good at all
I know a load of people who have been robbed and stuff because they've been in a k-hole.

fuck that shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Tried it twice: hated it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

it doesn't sound in any way appealing
after seeing people on that shit that was banned a while back (methedrone was it?) I don't know why anyone would want that either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Tried it. Didn't like it either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

yeah Wiggy tried that
said it was like really really shit E. Plus you have to snort that as well and it burns worse than coke.

I've seen guys in k-holes, any drug that requires that much effort to enjoy is not worth it. Wiggy's douchebag friend vomited in my bed when he was k-holing. He'd been eating mixed pepper kebabs though so it was very pretty.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I like to get high when I'm on drugs
If I'm not seeing or feeling something amazing or laughing my arse off then I don't want to know
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I had it once.
It was fabulous.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

First time I had it I took way, way too much and nearly choked to death.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Bleedin hell!
I knew a few guys who it didn't sit well with but the girls who took it said it was great.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I had you down as more of a 2CV man

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

0/10 see me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I only did it because I'm not cool enough to know what 2CI and 2CB are
Although I have added them to my drugs keyword list, so thanks for that ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I LOVE cocaine. Bit too muchtbh but managed to get a grip before it became a problem. Had none since April 2006.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I won't bring any on Sunday.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Feel free to. Really doesn't bother me. I know can't participate as it would mess with my epi tablets

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Nah I am really trying not to do any.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Good man!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I'll have anything that makes me dance like a loon for 4 hours straight.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

For me, that need only be a decent DJ playing awesome songs.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Well good music helps too.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I don't like music.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

No one does, it's like the emperor's new clothes

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Definitely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Mine is alcohol, specifically Lager.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

You're sick.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Hey, I like my ale too!
But I've had so many bad pints, I really can take it or leave it these days
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Then you need to change where you drink

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Exactly
and you have to learn to choose the pints you drink. And if you don't know any of them, then ask for tasters.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Months of being skint has forced me onto lagers
I'll be back on the ales in no time. I do still drink Ruddles every time I'm in Congleton Spoons (pretty reliable)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Beer is cheaper than lager in the pubs near me.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

It's in the pubs I go too
And you can always go for sure winners, like Landlords or Copper Dragon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

It's often cheaper
But I know that the lagers will be good, where as the ale is often not near me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

It's records
I reckon you could give up the Massive Drugs, but you'd rather let a herd of mountain goats like your face to the bone than part ways with your vinyl collection.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I like your face to the bone

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I'm not sure how to take this
So I'm going to go with you like me so strongly as to be able to flay people with your 'like'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I was mocking you for writing like instead of lick.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I didn't even notice my error
Motion carries.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Idiot
you actually thought I liked your face?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I know you like my face.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)

you did it again, writing like instead of lick

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

You have yet to do that
But I know you will at some point.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

and the bladder squeezing thing

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Oooh I'd forgotten about my vinyl habit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

And your collection of trainers gay footwear.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I'd forgotten about this!
"ooh shoes!" *minces*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

haha
first time I read this I was certain it was Monty who had posted it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I'm in work a little earlier than usual because I have a client coming in
Which sucks. But I am looking fucking awesome today.

Alt: I'd put one of my Aunts up for execution, as I recently found out that the minging ginger chav cunt cheated on my uncle for years (oh, and one of their fat chav shite kids might not be his).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

not
his mine
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:49, Reply)

ooh it's like Brookie.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:06, Reply)

re: sig
I've never had Ludes.

a) are they still around and
b) are they any good?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I only have one vice
It's a nice big heavy one mounted on the bench in the back of my garage.

Sorry. Maybe I should get out of bed.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

My sister in law went in to labour last night so we got the nephews
My daughter refused to sleep and all three of them cried all night.

Then my six year old nephew who looks exactly like that fat cunt who plays Crabbe in the Harry Potter films punched my daughter in the face. I had to use all my restraint not to punch the little shit back. I am now in a foul mood and very tired.

So right now I would gladly sacrifice my fattest nephew in order to keep the booze which right now keeps me sane.
( Peej, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

That is a brilliant response
I want to congratulate you for composing it but feel it's more apt to commiserate on your crappy night.

But well done, all the same
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 8:59, Reply)

I just googled Crabbe
I feel like I should make a picture to demonstrate just how fat and cuntish they both look.
( Peej, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:00, Reply)

when I was at nursery there was this little kid who used to go around kicking everyone
he kicked my dad and my dad said "If you do that again I'll kick you back" and the kid did it. So my dad kicked him back. He didn't do it again. You wouldn't get away with that now.

Obviously my dad didn't boot him out of the park, I'm not condoning child abuse here.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Cunt kids deserved to be kicked.
I'm pretty sure that my kids upbringings will teach them that punching little girls 4 years younger and about 18 stone lighter than you is wrong. If he does it again I'll roll his blubbery ass down the hill and on to the railway tracks.
( Peej, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:06, Reply)

If a kid is being nasty
he has to be punished. That's not child abuse, it's teaching him
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:20, Reply)

teaching him great fun
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Oh, man
as I said yesterday, you can be so nasty sometimes...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

When you say Dad, do you mean Grandma?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)

I like to imagine this is how it happened

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:09, Reply)

What a cunt your nephew
but he's only a kid, don't take it badly (I'm sure that was his parent's answer)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I'm in a bit of a grump this morning
my pole students are annoying me. I've now got one whinger in each class which is really annoying plus 3 people said they were ill and couldn't make it so for 3 hours' work I got paid £8.

However, one of the whingers is a girl I work with and this morning she's asked me to not let her quit because she really wants to do it she just gets frustrated.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)

If you want to have a go at applebite just gaz her.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Or on FB
She was whinging about hurting herself on the pole.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:09, Reply)

eww you should've seen it
a large amount of skin stayed on the pole when she took her hand off, it was gross.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)

She's falling apart due to not eating enough bacon
Forcefeed her a bacon sarnie, and just to be sure, dress her wound with more bacon.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:13, Reply)

bacon probably has awesome healing properties
better than frozen yoghurt. Bacon would win in a fight.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Totally
Frozen yoghurt would be all "Oh, violence is too much negative energy, I'm a pacifist, let's just stay calm and do some yoga to release our chi in a positive, nurturing manner."
Then bacon would be "Now I have to cut you."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Then roast a chicken with bacon draped over it, and some chipolatas
More bacon damnit!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

applebite only whinges about boys, not pole
I don't mind that, it's like my own personal version of The Archers.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)

dum-di-dum-di-dum-dum-dee-dum-dee-dum-dum.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:13, Reply)

The least appropriate music imaginable to accompany pole dancing?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Not good
You and Wiggy on talking terms yet?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)

yeah we're ok, although I haven't seen him much because I've been working every night.
I've been doing some super petty passive aggressive tidying of only my belongings though and I don't think he's even noticed so I'm getting a bit bored of that now.

This morning I was folding a load of clothes and I realised I'd done some of his too so I unfolded them and then laughed at how petty I was being.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:13, Reply)

That is remarkably petty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:15, Reply)

isn't it!
I've never done anything like this before, I couldn't do it all the time it's exhausting.

I have a friend who does passive aggressive stuff all the time, her boyfriend woke her up at 2am coming in drunk so she set her alarm at the weekend for 6am and started vacuuming, stuff like that. I could not do that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

A little can be funny, but constant PA stuff would grind me down
I'd probably stab your friend.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Constantly telling you when meetings are, who phoned you
Must get really fucking annoying!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

this took me way too long

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:31, Reply)

But you're a secretary, aren't you?
They're the same as PAs, just to more people. You're a slutty PA.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)

yeah pretty much

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Kitty!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)

link it,
not exactly SFW and it's massive.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I am the Queen of passive aggressive.
But I have to be really annoyed to deploy those sorts of tactics.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

in this case I think it is the only way to get through to him how dickish it is that he says he doesn't know where my clothes live and he's only tidying up his belongings.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

You could put all his clothes under the sink, in the freezer etc.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

hahahah
I actually officelolled at this.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)

you should totally do it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)

And very funny

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

'bored WITH', please.
Thank you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

shut your face
I'm bored at you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:32, Reply)

That's remarkably bad
The question is, where/when does it stop?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

In about 6 weeks with a 4am post saying
WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh WIGGY BROKE UP WITH ME FOR NO REASON
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:29, Reply)

weeks days
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:32, Reply)

with me it'll stop as soon as Wiggy says we need to tidy up and then I can go
"that's all your stuff I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT LIVES" and then I'll cackle maniacally, he'll call me a dick and we'll both tidy up.

He just called me a thieving whore on facebook, that's the kind of relationship we have.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)

You only talk over facebook?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

He was asleep when I left the house this morning.
It's a modern world AA, get used to it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Haha, looks like I'll have to!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:40, Reply)

But 'oop north' £8 buys you a three-bedroom house,
and still leaves you change for 40 Woodbines, a night at t'pictures and the latest George Formby.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Including an outhouse.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Daan Sarf it buys you a cheap tin of beans

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

.
cheap tin of s
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:12, Reply)

But at least you'd know it was an organic bean raised in entirely welfare-approved free-range conditions.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:54, Reply)

and all the whippets you can eat.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

have you even seen a whippet?
there's no meat on them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Which is why you need as many as you can eat.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:17, Reply)

touche

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Damn Straight!
Thus leaving more money for lovely booze
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I really don't think the fact that everything up here isn't a complete rip off is a bad thing
you're just an idiot for paying what you do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)

it's worth it for not living in the North

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:27, Reply)

it's not that bad up here
I'm not a big snobby ponce like you lot though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Oh have another 'barm cake' and shut up, Nommers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I don't buy into the weird bread related fights people have
Also, by birth I'm more Southern than you, geographically speaking.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I do like his grills.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Turned out nice again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

*facepalm*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

I saw this brilliant feature on QVC or something like that with Hulk Hogan doing his own grills
and they had a wrestling commentator guy on with one of them dangling microphones going "LEEEEEET'S GEEEEEEEEET REEEEEEEADY TOOOOOO pick-up-the-phone-and-OOOOORDEEEEEEEEEER", I proper roffled.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Hi, dear
I'm not sure about my day. Upset stomach again, I couldn't even have tea yesterday, and I'm not hungry today... I hope it's just stress.

I don't know who I would kill... it depends on the day. Lately a lot of them are being very annoying. Right now, my sister is winning the tournament, with her stupid questions, as if I had nothing else to do than convincing her to come to my wedding.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Your family need a good slap.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:20, Reply)

My mother has started slapping people
metaphorically. Last time she was asked, again, "Why in Tenerife, and why in January? It's so far..." Instead of replying with the polite "Well, it was the date that best suited them, and we all live here..." and all that stuff, she came back with a "Well, it's her wedding, she does it as she wants. When you get married, you do it as you want". Well said there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Nice!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I was very proud of my mother there
and that doesn't happen very often.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I'd rather go to Tenerife for a wedding
than my mrs' sister's wedding which is at 11am on a fucking Thursday.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:29, Reply)

That's awful
the fact that she's asking everyone to take the day off so she can save a few pounds.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:33, Reply)

yeah
the way they are organising their wedding couldn't be more different to the way we are.

she's completely daft.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

And I'm sure you're still going
without complaining every single day about how much it's going to cost you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I am
but I'm not happy about it.

It's going to be tasteless though, so will only make my wedding look better by comparison.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)

That's a good way of looking at it
So, I imagine she's inviting for lunch, and then go home early, as you all have to work on Friday?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I think it's the Thursday before Easter
so at least we don't have to take the Friday off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)

She's well considerate, then
I don't know why you're complaining.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I still have to take the Thursday off
and starting it at 11am will make for a very long day

we are having our ceremony at 3pm.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I know
It was sarcasm. Of course it's crap to ask everybody to take a day off.

We are starting ours between 5pm and 7pm, I'm not sure yet.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I thought you'd be used to stupid questions by now.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Not quite
And my sister's question was a bit too much:

"Plane tickets are so expensive... Do you mind if I don't go to the wedding?"

That's after my mother offered paying the tickets for her.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I don't think you should ever have to 'convince' anyone to come to your wedding
They should be proud to be invited
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:24, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

You would think so, wouldn't you?
As my mother was talking with a friend, if you are invited to a wedding and can't go, you just say you're sorry, you can't go. What you don't do is starting questioning the place and date, and saying all the time that you don't know and have to think about it, because it's soooooo far...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I'm sure there's a Spanish saying involving donkeys that explains your family frustrations.
If not, could you make one up?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

We have something, yes
The honey wasn't made for the mouth of the ass; which means that good things aren't for stupid people who can't appreciate them. In a similar way, we say "don't feed daisys to the pigs"
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Haha! I like that.
I'm going to use it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Feel free
We love our sayings. We can have whole conversations just using them. I don't know if you've heard "La Tortura" with Shakira and Alejandro Sanz, but they basically speak to each other using sayings for almost the whole song.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I knew it!
I love spanish sayings involving donkeys. Can I make one up?

"If you invite donkeys to your wedding, be prepared to shovel some shit"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Hahaha
That's very good! I must translate it onto something that rhymes and use it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)

When you use it, pretend that it's an ancient saying from the heartland of Spain
not something some English bloke made up on the internet
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I might have to replace the word wedding then
for something more general. We never use specifics, just general ideas. Something like If you invite donkeys to your house, be prepared to shovel some shit.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

That's the one!
Awesome! I invented a Spanish saying. I expect to have it said to me by wise old spanish men in a few years time.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)