Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:20, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That's only slightly less bad
and only because I haven't heard that one before.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I went to a fancy dress party, dressed as sulphuric acid.
Someone threw a drink over me.

I didn't know how to react.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:25, Reply)

A plane full of spittle crashed into the sea
There were no salivas.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:28, Reply)

My favourite Tommy Cooper joke:
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother HoChaChu. But I think it's Colin
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

a chinaman walks into a bar with an amazing parrot on his shoulder
the barman goes "wow, where did you get that?" and the parrot says "china. there's a billion of them"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:35, Reply)

hahahaha
also to Battered's as well.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Basic chinese
That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:46, Reply)

that's the only slightly funny joke my dad knows

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22, Reply)