Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What a lovely story.www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/LL-MISS-MONTY/article-2837660-detail/article.html
He'll be able to spend his free time doing massive drugs and being miserable.
Q: Have you seen any news stories recently that make you think of a OT'er?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 13:58,
146 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
no, but I bet the adverts for Nom yoghurt make everyone think of me.We've just had an email round in our office saying that milk is for brews only, not for cereal.
OMG MILK POLICE NEE NAW NEE NAW
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:02,
Reply)
If you do use the milk for cerealDo you think you'll get into trouble, or will they look the udder way and let you carry on?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:03,
Reply)
hahahahaThere was no mention of just drinking it by itself so I might go and buy some Nesquik.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
And if they say anythingBLAME IT ON THE BUNNY!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:07,
Reply)
I might ask who's going to be the milk monitor and if there'll be a rota(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
Roota would make a brilliant milk monitor.(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
I'm going to ignore JeffAnd say, if they catch you then what are they going to do? And can you say that you'll just not use milk in brews?
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I might store up my quota of milk that I use in my brews and keep it in a separate glass in the fridgeor I could just buy a couple of pints of milk and email everyone saying the cereal is on me.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
if you did thatI would pour cereal on you
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:08,
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Be careful. People could die if you do that.You'd be a cereal killer then.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:09,
Reply)
It could be worse. Vipros is could have suggested he'd throw museli over KittyAnd I could have told the story about my friend who drowned int a bowl of museli.
He got pulled in by a strong currant.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:12,
Reply)
they were goodbut I liked the big bad I said no!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
I had a poster of them on my front door for ages, but I left it behind when I moved, sadfaceThe plantpot thing was weird.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:20,
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your face is weirdyour mum's weird yourmum'sfaceisWEIRD
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:34,
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*highfives*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
Or the lad who got ill after eating too much curry.He fell into a Korma.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
A touch better than yesterdayBut I'm still some way off being healthy.
Why are you tired and grumpy?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
Grumpy because I am tiredand tired because I slept like crap last night. My washing machine was making an alarming noise at about 3am and I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards, then woke again at about 6:30.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Poor berk.Why did you having your washing machine on at 3 in the morning?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
I have that stupid economy 7so it's much cheaper to run it overnight. It never normally wakes me, but it was making a serious racket.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:26, Reply)
What were you washing?Tin cans and bricks?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
Yes, because of courseI really NEED clean tin cans and bricks in my life.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:30, Reply)
brick in washing machinewww.youtube.com/watch?v=zwYW_RGWSmM
or, better link
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lIR2NKY98c&feature=related
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:35,
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Now you're being silly.Silly berk.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
That's only slightly less badand only because I haven't heard that one before.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I went to a fancy dress party, dressed as sulphuric acid.Someone threw a drink over me.
I didn't know how to react.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:25, Reply)
A plane full of spittle crashed into the seaThere were no salivas.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:28,
Reply)
My favourite Tommy Cooper joke:Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother HoChaChu. But I think it's Colin
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)
a chinaman walks into a bar with an amazing parrot on his shoulderthe barman goes "wow, where did you get that?" and the parrot says "china. there's a billion of them"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
Basic chineseThat's not right...
Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao
Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:46, Reply)
that's the only slightly funny joke my dad knows(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
My favourite curry is a Chicken TarkaIt's like a Tikka, but a little 'otter.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
kinky(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:10,
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depends on the cereal(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:13,
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Cornflakes would be a classicCoco Pops for the lolracism or trainee coprophage.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:16,
Reply)
I was told off for doing thatStupid people. I drink my tea black, so every time I had a tea, I put some milk on another cup. At the end of the day I had enough for next morning cereals. You don't play with me.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:10, Reply)
that's what one of the girls here has said, she doesn't drink brews so she wants to know if she can save up her brew quota(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:13,
Reply)
stop calling it "brews"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:14,
Reply)
DON'T QUESTION ME(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
LOUD NOISES(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
OOH LABS REMEMBER...THE PICTURE...LOLROFFLECOPTERS
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
we hadn't mentioned that for at least a week(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
b3ta.com/search/posts/41058?q=The+Picture
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:34,
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I LOVE ITI'm going to do it all the time.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:38,
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This is my absolute favourite oneb3ta.com/search/posts/21103?q=I+don%27t+like
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
b3ta.com/search/posts/61101?q=pole
b3ta.com/search/posts/61101?q=shoes
b3ta.com/search/posts/61101?q=cupcakes
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I'm not clicking that, stop being mean to mewaaaaaaah
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
alsob3ta.com/search/posts/48141?q=Milton+keynes
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/search/posts/48141?q=search
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
the last reference to The Picture is at the end of SeptemberUP YOURS
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
*sighs*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
I think it'll be more challengingto buy the 2 bottles of milk (8pints for £2 at Tesco) and say it's on you. That'll teach the managers.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:17, Reply)
We got that and in the same emailplease drink the milk in date order because we're wasting milk.
I mean ffs.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:16, Reply)
we get a similar thingbanned from using it for anything but tea or coffee and then at the end of the week "feel free to take milk home, we have 6 extra pints"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
Oh there was also a reply to all(250+ people) saying "can I use it for hot milk?"
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I hate reply to all so much(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
I hate it on facebookWhen someone messages 5 people to ask them to do something and then some dolt continues the conversation with reply all and it tells me every time. It makes me all "notify this" *grabs crotch*
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:24,
Reply)
So crude...(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
Sew this*grabs crotch*
actually, don't sew that I might need it
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
I'm disappointed in you(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
DISAPPOINT THIS*grabs crotch*
EDIT: Actually you'd probably do a very good job of disappointing this.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:47,
Reply)
I could never do that*wiggles eyebrows*
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:47,
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Thank Christ(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
*sigh*www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/local/mount_farm_attempted_rape_police_issue_e_fit_1_869448
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Don't worry, Peter Sutcliffe was interviewed nine times before they realised it was him.(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:12, Reply)
There was that story in the news the other day about a guy who died suddently from Influenza.But I can't remember where I read it.
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girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:03,
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Blousie.You've changed.
That worries me.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:04,
Reply)
Ow! I'm all sore of prickly at the moment. :((
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
nah but I swear I see Chompy on the way to work almost every morning(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:06,
Reply)
I think of chompy every time I see sunlight glinting off binoculars in the bush in my garden.(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:12, Reply)
*strikethrough involving your bush and lady garden.*(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:14,
Reply)
I was just wondering how someone fits binoculars up their chuff(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
Thin end first(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
she's totally lying, she said to me just last night "At least it's a step up from Chompy"(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:09,
Reply)
Monty is a horse's name?Oh, good...
I thought of Bert when I read the story about the 10 years old mum.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Hello, horsie, hello...How's the little horsie doing today? Eh? Do you want a carrot? Eh? A little carrot for the little horsie?
And now you'll reply saying that you don't spell horsie like that.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:19, Reply)
I imagined you as a horse, purely for for all the freeketamine you'd be able to get.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
No but we have a cat called Burt.The phrase "fuck off Burt" can be heard in our flat most days.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:13, Reply)
I wasn't talking to you,and by the way that last gaz was a joke, don't do that.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)
He hasn't tried to shag his sister - we had his balls cut off before he could try.(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:24, Reply)
This could be a Monty as well, or Agnostic.www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-11681777
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
Monty's pic is in the top right of that page(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
Nah, I don't get taxis, my homing instinct refuses!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
*links to that story of the paralysed pole dance I can't find at the moment*(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:30, Reply)
www.cracked.com/blog/8-questions-every-wow-fan-apparently-needs-answered/
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:08,
Reply)
Actually what the fuck is this aboutwww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11691559
read the insert "Dissident fund-raising activities" does one of them seem out of place?
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:33, Reply)
it's extortion isn't it?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:39,
Reply)
Apparently it's a real thingwhich is a mixture of kidnap and another crime.
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:46, Reply)
ah like "rob this bank for us because we've nabbed your mrs"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:47,
Reply)
"rob this bank or we'll feed your children to this tiger"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:53,
Reply)
Tiger kidnapping innitIt's all the rage south of the border
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:51,
Reply)
I thought of myself when I read this:www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/the-jim-jones-revue-free-aural-decimeter-iphone-app
Fucking funny
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:41,
Reply)
it does not surprise me that they are fucking loud(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 14:44,
Reply)
Heavyweight regional news alertwww.greenocktelegraph.co.uk/news/greenock/articles/2010/11/04/406858-partygoer-attacked-by-a-smurf/
(, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Poor guyI bet he couldn't give his statement without everyone just laughing directly in his face.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 15:05,
Reply)
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