I'm not going to gaz you.
I would answer "I don't know", then I would spend a good 20 minutes talking about what a fucking stupid question it was.
Oh what's cheese about?
What's religion about?
What's democracy about?

It's a fucking vague question designed to dumb down peoples thoughts about a complex subject into a single sentance that hopefully rhymes. So media types can smugly say they're publishing a important and intellectual piece for the public.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:39, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I hate rhyming

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:40, Reply)

your editor will fucking love it though don't deny it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:40, Reply)

I love that you think I could in any way be published
It'll go as part of my work that I'm going to be starting in a couple of weeks. With NO RHYMING.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:42, Reply)

Who's your audience?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:45, Reply)

Companies that just focus on making things like good
And students to some extent.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Flatter their feelings of self importance.
Say: "design is the hardest job in the world" and "Good design can move mountains" within the first two paragraphs.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:48, Reply)

1) Flatter them
2) Lot's of cliches
3) Tell them they're actually all cocks
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:51, Reply)

Another great start to an article
is summarising recieved wisdom about the subject then going: WELL THATS ALL WRONG AND YOU BELIEVE IT BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:54, Reply)

The joy of doing consultancy work
The whole premise is that you go in and tell people they're doing it wrong, then they hate you, and then you leave.

edit: Do you get to write such reports that are promptly ignored?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:55, Reply)

I write an awful lot of reports
but they're more stats based and so easier for managers to read.
Line goes up good
line goes down bad

I usually have to colour code though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:57, Reply)

This is for someone old and set in their ways
They'll probably read it, read the bit saying they're doing it wrong and how they could do it better, then throw it in the bin.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Then emphasise the benifits at first
and propose a few easy steps and then some long term goals.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:59, Reply)

That is indeed roughly how I'll be doing it

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)

My friend does this a lot in his job
He says he has to be very careful with the colour scheme. Basically: Red = Bad; Green = Good; Blue/Black = Depends. Stray from that and people get very confused.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:11, Reply)

On one of my last days of fourteen years in the insurance industry
I endured a meeting in which the colour coding of report books was discussed with gusto.

Even relating this is bringing about a prickling behind the eyeballs - THE USELESS CUNTS. They're books. It doesn't matter what colour they are.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)

yep, red amber green
people understand that.
I still get "OMG it's 90% but it's amber" emails
Then I have to explain rounding to them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:27, Reply)

A guy I used to work with once gave a presentation to the Dept of Transport.
After carefully outlining the parlous state of the nation's public transport infrastructure the only question or comment he got was "How do you make those boxes slide in from the side in Powerpoint?"
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:37, Reply)

+n

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:49, Reply)

you're going to have to narrow it down love.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:54, Reply)

"they're publishing AN important and blahzeblahblah"

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:55, Reply)

Since when have all b3ta ladies turned against me?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)

oh, go on gorgeous, they haven't
xxx
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:00, Reply)

THANKS KRISTINE
you're one of the better ones on here.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:10, Reply)

pfffffft jog on

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:12, Reply)

An excellent phrase you should get more americans using it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:27, Reply)

but then I wouldn't be unique and awesome when I say it

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:29, Reply)

You'd still be awesome.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:32, Reply)

Has anyone complained about Sexface posting scat the other day?
Or has everyone become so scared of being labelled a whining QOTW autist that they don't want to bother cr3 any more?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:36, Reply)

I don't think we had to
He got banned from QOTW the next morning anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:41, Reply)

haha toooooo funny

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Are the photos still up?
I had to put him on ignore so I didn't have them on my screen, but I don't like having people on ignore.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Squid is there, but not on the front page of OT now
I'm not sure what happened to the scat one.

edits: nope, it appears to be gone too.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:49, Reply)

scat got mod edited away.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:50, Reply)

What good mods

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:53, Reply)

I like the mods how they are
basically saying "oh fuck off and stop bothering me" some places are far too mod heavy.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:55, Reply)

they're the very model of a modern major moderator

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:56, Reply)

oh shush

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:44, Reply)

I'm here for you chompy.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)

wooyay

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:06, Reply)

Needs moar sarcasm!

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:09, Reply)

(!)

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:10, Reply)

There's always Gonz.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post937259
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:15, Reply)

BERKS GOING ON THE LIST

(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:26, Reply)

what list is that? to be raped?
lets be honest, I don't know about your IRL personality but you've got it going on in the looks department.
lucky lampito
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:01, Reply)

No the bad list, my b3tans I hate list.
I talk posh say please and thankyou and hold doors open for people.
You american chicks lap that up as I found out in New York.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:04, Reply)

Hang on
You're saying I'm not the only person in the world that still holds doors open for people? It just feels like that? Huh, who knew.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:07, Reply)

oh, that's new york, here it's called southern hospitality and any self respecting gentleman or lady does it
you do have the advantage of the accent, and the girls certainly like that
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:07, Reply)

They think you're all Hugh Grant
but without the skanky prostitutes.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:09, Reply)

oh god hugh grant
my my my
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:10, Reply)

15 minutes Kristine!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:15, Reply)

what what?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:17, Reply)

Till you finish work.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:22, Reply)

incorrect
I have 37 minutes
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:23, Reply)

Fukkit
Sorry.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:30, Reply)

you had me very excited for a moment :)

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:32, Reply)

Awful tease aren't I?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:37, Reply)

the worst kind!
;)
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:39, Reply)