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I look at who I was 5 years ago and I hardly even recognise that person. And yet I can't really describe how it is that I've changed.
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 20:56, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I can describe the differences, mostly because they're so obvious to me.
Back then I was massively depressed and the real me was hidden under layer after layer of neuroses and suppressed emotion. Now I'm just me.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:00, Reply)

Well, this, I guess
I was just going to sum it up as having Manned The Fuck Up. If you'd told me when I was 21 what I'd be like now I'm 25 I would have laughed in your face and then cried, listened to The Smiths, and thought about cutting myself
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Nice work.
Did you manage it on your own or did you have help?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:03, Reply)

I was on antidepressants for a bit
I decided I didn't need them any more about two years ago, and I really didn't. And I had a a few months of counselling at uni, but only because I got caught going a bit lolmental. *shrugs* I'm not sure it helped a great deal, but it was nice to have a damn good moan and not be judged or feel that I was boring the other person.
How about you?
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Litany of medication and low-level therapies with psych nurses and counsellors for ten years.
Period of self-harm three years ago and close to breakdown, went to the doc and demanded finality. Twenty sessions of psychodynamic therapy, two subsequent years of introversion, blogging, walking and self development, learned some counselling skills myself which helps with the self-examination. No meds for four years and thriving on life in general, especially now I've kicked weed and alcohol (mostly) on the head. I have occasional depressive bouts that last a day or so but nothing I can't handle. I consider myself very lucky indeed - I think if I'd carried on the way I was going I'd be dead by now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:11, Reply)

I was about to feel guilty
About work induced stress being somehow an artifical form of depression.

But having read this, I don't.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:17, Reply)

I was pretty heavily fucked over by a girl
and passively compounded it by not knowing how to deal with the associated emotions - anger, mostly - and suppressing them to the point of not feeling them for a decade. Ten year's worth of pent-up anger will fuck anyone up.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:19, Reply)

My immediate response to your post
Is to go outside for a smoke. I think that's called abstraction. And I'm making myself finish my answer before I go out.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:23, Reply)

O_o
that sounds considerably more serious than me, I just got citalopram for 2 years and about 10 sessions of whining. I think my problems stemmed mainly from having an utterly shit childhood, and that I was still being all teen-angsty and allowing it to fuck me over. One of my major things was just letting stuff go, and it's made me a very chilled out person now (mostly). Just, life's too short to go around being depressed, you know?
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:17, Reply)

A lot of people don't know how to let things go.
It's a skill I've only recently learned, and I've been right on the edge of letting the most important thing in my past go for a few days now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:22, Reply)

I'm always letting things go.
It's usually wind.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:24, Reply)

Then what's stopping you? :)

(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:28, Reply)

Timing.
Big news today, feeling a little overloaded. There's time. Coincidentally I've felt very emotional quite a few times today so I know I'm loaded, but I'm on it. It'll come soon, I'll just sit down with this and let it all out.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Hope it all comes right.
You're amazing, and you've been a great help to it seems many people here. Glad the flat was good, too.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Ah, see I love Mumford & Sons
but that song always makes me want to cry, and I very very rarely cry. I presume the good news is the flat?
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:32, Reply)

Yeah, great news but a huge hill to climb.
Not insurmountable, but it's filled my plate for now. Although I've just listened to that and had a little cry for now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:36, Reply)

Aww *hugs*
I know it's a big deal, both in a scary way and a great way. Just concentrate on the latter, everything will sort itself out :)
(berk, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:42, Reply)

I was expecting that link to be I love horses.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:35, Reply)

I was expecting scat porn.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:36, Reply)

It's good you can recognise when you're feeling like that and thanks for posting an awesome track.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:00, Reply)

One of my answers
Was to look around me and realise that I wasn't alone.

Here are Berk and Noel talking about supressed emotions. That's three of us for a start.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:10, Reply)

*stiffens upper lip*
*wobbles a bit*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:17, Reply)

You'd be surprised by the amount of lol ex-depressives that are on here.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:23, Reply)

There's no such thing as an ex-depressive
It's always there. You might wish to have it diagnosed, and there are degrees of depression.

Whichever way you play it, mental trauma is real and it lives with you like a squawking parrot on your shoulder.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:35, Reply)

I know.
Been there, slashed the t-shirt.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:37, Reply)

I've been thinking about my reply to this for a while
Thereby negating the point of my thread.

I ought to be a smartarse. The Disappointed is a smartarse.

But no - Simon is far smaller than The Disappointed. I'm fucked up, whether I like it or not.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Join our club.
We like you.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:55, Reply)

*requests application form to join*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:04, Reply)

Recovering fuckup.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:56, Reply)

Noel can you get me a badge with that on it??
sums me up quite well think.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:01, Reply)

Yay another one.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:02, Reply)

aha yeah....
that's me. I'm feeling much better now though. just gotta keep working on it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:05, Reply)

You've met Simon
I'm very different to The Disappointed in real life, I think.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:06, Reply)

Are we getting badges then?
I haven't got any badges on my profile,which I'll have to change next week when I become 42.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:11, Reply)

We'll see what we can come up with.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:13, Reply)

You are
The Lesley Judd of b3ta.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Lesley Jugs is more like it.

/crude
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:54, Reply)