A pig on a spit
But the twist is it's not cooked. If you ate it, you'd be a hero. A dead hero most likely, but a hero nonetheless.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:30, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Either that, or you do start cooking it at the party
And nudge the hot-but-newly-single-host, saying "Ever feel like you're looking into the not-very-distant future?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*vomits blood*
that is honestly one of the worst lines I've ever heard.
And I can hear myself.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:38, Reply)

it's no wonder girls end up feeling cynical...
if this thread said "the really sweet/kind/intelligent/funny/lovely/warm/friendly/popular/generous and newly single" hostess, that would be one thing.

but oh no. "she's hot" and that's the only thing that matters.

men!!!!!!!!!!!!

[is in a strop because salad factory had run out of pasta and is now stabbing moodily at second-rate couscous alternative]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:49, Reply)

there's no other basis to judge worth remember
important fact for life there

/pissed off from last night still
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:50, Reply)

well that's certainly how some people* seem to think
* = men

have you had any thoughts about last night?? will gaz you later...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Well, let's face it, we know that all women who come on here are intelligent, beautiful and divine.
But we have to deal with the other 99% on a daily basis, they dumb us down so much we just can't appreciate you lot properly. So blame other women, not us!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:52, Reply)

[had written that reply with the intention of being as awful as possible for comic effect and is sorry if it touched a nerve]

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:58, Reply)

oh
so you're saying i'm not hot?

thanks crow, yeah, thanks a BUNCH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I believe he still would, as the phrase goes, 'fuck you up the shitpipe'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 15:09, Reply)

firstly you are judging him by your own standards
secondly.... eeeeeeeeeow.

ps: saw your comment on facebook. see, i don't judge people purely by their looks!!! of course, he was equally grim on the inside, but meh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Haha, thought you'd appreciate it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

or just go with nothing and say you can create a spit roast out of thin air,
all you'll need is another bloke and a willing female.
(Kip, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I can make a helicopter out of basically nothing!
All I need is a midget, and a lob on.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 15:03, Reply)

looking forward to seeing that in Manchester....



*Possibly a lie
(Kip, Wed 10 Nov 2010, 15:10, Reply)