You can't apply female thinking
to men. Because we don't think like you. A guy will sometimes call that evening and sometimes won't. It really epends on what else is going on. If you're not prepared to send the first text or whatever, you shouldn't expect them to either. Double standards.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:04, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

no, it's tried and tested rules
they only apply the first couple of times. any guy who doesn't call or text after you have sex for the first time should NOT have had sex with you if he didn't like you enough to bother calling you afterwards. or he should have said "this is just for tonight, yeah?" and been honest about it. he might not have got laid, but he wouldn't have been a total douche.

similarly, any guy who doesn't at least offer to pay on the first date is a cheapskate.

i didn't write the rules!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Rules, my arse
You may not have written them, but you're blindly following them and it doesn't stop them being utterly ridiculous.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:08, Reply)

i know what sort of behaviour i would think acceptable
it doesn't mean sending me hundreds of pounds of flowers a week, or taking me to 5 star restaurants every date. but it does mean showing me that you are keen enough to pursue me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:09, Reply)

You aren't the only ones who like to be pursued
if you're sitting back and waiting for the guy to make every move, you'll rapidly find he isn't making any.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:16, Reply)

that's not what i am saying, you are extrapolating it too far
i am saying that, after the first time you spend the night together, i would expect him to text or call within a reasonable period after arriving home or after he knows you have travelled home. because if he doesn't, he's not keen.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I find this expectation ok

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:21, Reply)

good!
i am making sense then. phew.

now, labs, can you kindly spread it around the rest of your lousy sex? ta!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I'll send out a memo

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)

please do
to: ALL MEN
from: LABS
subject: STOP BEING TWATTISH

thank you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

But why is that twattish?
He might be worried that you find him to clingy. Or he might have other problems. He might be going through a rough patch, and you texting/calling him back will brighten his day and make him realise you're a good woman, who doesn't play games, and are worth trying with a second date.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)

maaaaaaybe
but i think that is giving the benefit of the doubt to a guy who was really just after sex!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Or, you know, you could.
Because you're a grown-up. He could be sat there thinking "well she obviously doesn't give a shit", for all you know. Then, because you've signed up to a set of behaviours, called them rules rather than guidelines, that almost certainly less than 20% of the population believe to the extent you do, you miss out.

Or not. I just think it's daft to restrict yourself.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I'm sorry
But I have to agree with you. I do think it's double standards, and on the first date (or all of them), the bill should be splitted.

As well, if he doesn't call/text in a day or two, and I'm interested on him, I'll text him myself, to see if he's ok and fancy meeting again. I'm the type of woman who's got a lot more male than female friends, and I've listen to too many complaining that they don't know what to do, and why women can't be straight forward.

I learnt my lesson when I was 14, and since them, if I want something, I go for it; if after a couple of weeks together he proves he's crap, then bye.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I should probably say
that I actually personally subscribe to a lot of rachelswipe's rules. But that's because I'm an old-fashioned kind of a man. Not many people these days are. I just think it's stupid to restrict yourself to a dying breed.

Particularly in London, where men are all metrosexual, self-centred wankers anyway.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I think it's nice to receive a text after sex
and I'll consider that guy above others that don't; but I won't close all the doors to a nice guy just because he hasn't texted me in 4 days. Why should I? Why is the guy the one that has to start everything?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

*Equality high five*

( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:38, Reply)

i just think
if he is the kind of guy who won't text me after sex, he is not the kind of guy i really want to waste any more of my precious time on - i'm busy!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:47, Reply)

i honestly think you are spouting shit!!!
i don't believe there is a man on the planet who could spend the night with a girl, have sex several times, kiss her goodbye etc etc, then go home and think "oh noes, she doesn't like me enough to text me". it's along the lines of "maybe he was too intimidated by the girl's looks/brains/money". there isn't a man on the planet who thinks "oh noes, she was way too good for me, i don't deserve her, better not call her then."

the truth is, if the guy wants a repeat performance, it won't even cross his mind that she might not feel the same way, because he'll be fending off a stiffy from re-living the highlights all the way home, and his blood will be diverted from his brain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:34, Reply)

No it's probably
"well, she doesn't appear to be the kind of mentalist who texts relentlessly and immediately after sex, I can probably relax a bit."

Then you turn out to be exactly that kind of woman, because you're a woman, only you haven't even bothered to try and get in contact with him, either.

And you lose out again.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

you're simply wrong
he just couldn't be fucked to text/call once he'd had his dick sucked and got it warm and wet for a few hours.

this makes him a twat.

NEXT!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Neither could you
but somehow that's ok because it's you, rather than him. Hypocrisy.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:47, Reply)

he's the guy
i'm the girl.

them's the breaks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Ah, so this is all born
out of simple sexism. How unpleasant.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Really?
Is that your experience? I'm sorry you haven't met anyone nicer. I've had sex with good friends, one of them once told me we should stop doing it because he felt I was falling in love with him, and didn't want to hurt me. We're still really good friends and he's invited to the wedding and everything.

There are some crappy guys out there who only think with their cock, but not all of them; the majority are nice people, as scare as you of anything new.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)

i've heard some pretty painful stories
but i suppose if it's only happened to me once in many years of dating, they can't ALL be that bad.

i still hope that one gets cock-rot and dies a slow lingering impotent death though!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:45, Reply)

it's just struck me that the last time I slept with someone for the first time was before I even owned a mobile phone.
I must confess that I'm glad to be an old git and not "in the field" as texting and social network sites seem to have made things even more complicated.
(Cave Duck, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:27, Reply)

I don't remember the last time I slept with someone for the first time.
That's not because it was long ago, it was because I was very drunk. Which is awful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:28, Reply)

You see,
you could use a set of rules :P
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:29, Reply)

My very good friend from home assumed he was taking me home as I was too drunk.
Don't ask me what happened instead.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:37, Reply)

You're like some kind of sexual vampire
feeding on the vulnerable and weak.
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Hey, I was so drunk I could barely stand or talk, and I'm the predator?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Oh, the way you wrote it
made me infer that you jumped him
( Kroney, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:40, Reply)

I've no idea who jumped who.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 13:42, Reply)