Fucking 18 minutes you slags!!??
I guess my Dolly Parton body and brain like a fuck lizard isn't enough for you then is it?!?/


Well fuck you all.

Here's some live recordings of my new band if you're bored.
www.myspace.com/vikingpyro
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:59, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening, Gummy.
How goes it?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Evening lust dustbin!
Long time time no hugs, how's things doodle?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:07, Reply)

Not too bad bbz, just had a hellish journey back to London from the North
but it's good to be back in the hood.

Swear I saw you in my local about 2 months ago, you were giving me eyes from across the bar. By "giving me eyes" I mean probably trying to work out how I'd squidged myself into the booth.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Don't be silly, you'd know if it was me, as your muff would be all smelly and wet.
plus I only hangout in North West london dudette.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:32, Reply)

I thought it was too good to be true :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:36, Reply)

Sorry babe :S
would you like a signed photo of me?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:47, Reply)

I will crawl down the Central line with nothing on
to receive such a gift
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:55, Reply)

No need to crawl baby
www.b3tards.com/u/890f2f528bd6cef8bca0/dgauto.jpg
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:03, Reply)

IT'S GOING TO BE PROFILED NEXT TO THE LUST DUSTBIN COMMENT
I should set up a shrine.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)

Only if you post a picture of your tits. it's only fair.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:16, Reply)

Oh wow, you wouldn't want to see them
they're sacks full of nightmares
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)

AWESOME wanky nightmares I bet
I'm getting cussed by some lezzers down there v

Come and defend me you cheeky little sex strumpet please ;)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:29, Reply)

I'm listening to can't get enough.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:06, Reply)

And that's why i think you're awesome.
EDIT: superstition has got the better solos if you like guitars
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Fantastic. I like.
This guy does a great musical cover (his Smiths covers are great too, but he doesn't appear to sing, just play)

www.youtube.com/user/danielearwicker#p/u/38/eQVu77R-8Sk

Edit: His 'how soon is now' cover is fantastic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:17, Reply)

Oi, you thread slag
I'm off to bed. Night!
(berk, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:18, Reply)

I can do can do two things at one.
I thought YOU of all people would appreciate that at the moment!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:20, Reply)

cheers bro!
Will check out your link too! xxx
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:21, Reply)

What else do you play?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:24, Reply)

instrument wise or music wise?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)

Both.
What do YOU play, and as a band, what do you play?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)

I'm the bassist and singer, as both my brothers are better than me at guitar.
We play guilty pleasure rock, such as Iron Maiden, Steve Vai, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, ZZ Top, Aerosmith, Soul, Blues, etc...

All around all the popular places in London basically.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:37, Reply)

Nice.
You are the Osmans, and you owe me a fiver.

Do you do any original stuff or is it all covers?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:46, Reply)

used to do loads of originals but no market for it
www.youtube.com/user/DonkeyGums here if you're bothered.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:04, Reply)

I love live music, I will listen.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)

the fool?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:43, Reply)

heh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:45, Reply)

Hey, I got no love
and that must have put everyone else off.

And I used my best dead hooker anecdote, too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)

sods law man, mention a dead hooker and everyone goes quite through guilt

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:13, Reply)

its funny what shapes your life
one accidentally dead hooker at 14 and now here I am, 3 decades later approaching triple figures.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:24, Reply)