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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Since I'm in a fantastic mood I'll offer the DG services of free compliments and feel good comments.
If you're a boy I'll call you 'Champ' and will genuinely say something nice about you.

If you're a girl, well, then it will be something sexual as, well, that's what you want talking to me, innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 22:54, 276 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I love you DG!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 22:57, Reply)
You have the hair of a stallion and the face of a ballerina.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 22:58, Reply)
What's made you so chipper then? blowjob for dinner?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 22:58, Reply)
Nah dude, I saw a wicked picture of a midget doing a backflip and it's got me excited.

You've got the shoulders of a Russian wrestler and I bet your dick gets cold at night because it falls out of bed at night. Out the window. And then under neigh a car.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 22:59, Reply)
I love you DG.
You give me the Gush.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:00, Reply)
Dozer, You've given me such a wide-on that an eagle flew out.
FOLLOWED BY AN OWL.

A BARN OWL
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:02, Reply)
That's nothing, you give me such a lob on that squirrels come running because of the essence of nuts.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:08, Reply)
I wanna compliment!
Me. Me. Me!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:02, Reply)
I heard a rumor that once a gang of 50 men tried to start a fight with you
You pumped your right bicep once and killed all of them bar one, which you then employed* to be your personal penis carrier, who died of chronic back pain after a fortnight.

* you paid him one non punch if he let you slap his wife. in the tits and belly.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:05, Reply)
hahahahaha
Brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)
alright DG

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:05, Reply)
I heard a rumour that you once screamed so hard that you resurrected the dead
and they all had guitars.

and you made them play you happy birthday.

and then Jesus was there and you were like "NOT YET..." and he listened to you and died again.

You stopped the coming of Christ. in his pants.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:07, Reply)
What can I say, it's all in the delivery.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:08, Reply)
Even though I am a girl
I have got my wireless thing working. Woo full size keyboard
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:06, Reply)
I think it's a dangerous idea to have a wireless bra around me TGB
You know your tits will be swinging to the beat of your feet and then you'll get a massive clit-on whilst thinking about my face, which will look like ET's finger and your tits will then do a somersault.

then I'll get dirty wet messages from you.

AGAIN.

you made my CD Rom tray open... and out came a flarp.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)
ET's finger...

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:11, Reply)
ET's Finger.
I miss all the retards on here that me and you could to cuss into oblivion.

All noobs are scared now.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:18, Reply)
personal favourite
b3ta.com/talk/6299755
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:21, Reply)
Evening DG

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:08, Reply)
I'm not sure if you're a very gay boy or a butch girl from your profile, but that's GOOD
you can theoretically fuck any person in the land with your soft eyes and shoulders that look like a log fell on them.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:14, Reply)
Lolling hard at this

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:09, Reply)
You've got the face of a beautiful sailor
like a perfect oil painting of handsomeness, with a stiff, spectacular body.

Then you go and ruin it with your voice that sounds like a special needs klaxon.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:12, Reply)
special needs klaxon.
hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:13, Reply)
Come on cripples, this is a genuine chance to talk to a comic genius

I promise not talk about broom-ons, much.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:28, Reply)
I once pretended I was a bush in my garden for a whole week.
a bluetit got well used to me and I would let him shit all over my head and mouth.

Then I ate him and stared at his mates that were on the bird feeder, and ever since, they've never shit on my car or nan.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)
DG
Who do you hate most.

Simon Cowell or Hitler? I'd love to know your opinion on both of these characters.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)
Never trust a man whose got the same hair cut as a Brown Bear
See www.caucasus-naturefund.org/images/species%20photos/brown-bear-(Ursus-arctos).jpg

See www.bittenandbound.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Simon-Cowell.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:39, Reply)
You're a one, Donkey Gums, and no mistake
Reminds me of the time I was trying to bury the dismembered corpse of a hooker and I uncovered somebody else's dismembered corpse.

How I laughed!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)
I hate it when you've got a perfect plan and it's spoiled by another pervert.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:35, Reply)
Their should be a website where you can claim a patch of waste ground
or a well or sinkhole or something. It would avoid this whole nonsense.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:37, Reply)
Fucking 18 minutes you slags!!??
I guess my Dolly Parton body and brain like a fuck lizard isn't enough for you then is it?!?/


Well fuck you all.

Here's some live recordings of my new band if you're bored.
www.myspace.com/vikingpyro
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Nov 2010, 23:59, Reply)
Evening, Gummy.
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)
Evening lust dustbin!
Long time time no hugs, how's things doodle?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:07, Reply)
Not too bad bbz, just had a hellish journey back to London from the North
but it's good to be back in the hood.

Swear I saw you in my local about 2 months ago, you were giving me eyes from across the bar. By "giving me eyes" I mean probably trying to work out how I'd squidged myself into the booth.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:23, Reply)
Don't be silly, you'd know if it was me, as your muff would be all smelly and wet.
plus I only hangout in North West london dudette.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:32, Reply)
I thought it was too good to be true :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:36, Reply)
Sorry babe :S
would you like a signed photo of me?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:47, Reply)
I will crawl down the Central line with nothing on
to receive such a gift
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:55, Reply)
No need to crawl baby
www.b3tards.com/u/890f2f528bd6cef8bca0/dgauto.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:03, Reply)
IT'S GOING TO BE PROFILED NEXT TO THE LUST DUSTBIN COMMENT
I should set up a shrine.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)
Only if you post a picture of your tits. it's only fair.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:16, Reply)
Oh wow, you wouldn't want to see them
they're sacks full of nightmares
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)
AWESOME wanky nightmares I bet
I'm getting cussed by some lezzers down there v

Come and defend me you cheeky little sex strumpet please ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:29, Reply)
I'm listening to can't get enough.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:06, Reply)
And that's why i think you're awesome.
EDIT: superstition has got the better solos if you like guitars
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)
Fantastic. I like.
This guy does a great musical cover (his Smiths covers are great too, but he doesn't appear to sing, just play)

www.youtube.com/user/danielearwicker#p/u/38/eQVu77R-8Sk

Edit: His 'how soon is now' cover is fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:17, Reply)
Oi, you thread slag
I'm off to bed. Night!
(berk, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:18, Reply)
I can do can do two things at one.
I thought YOU of all people would appreciate that at the moment!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:20, Reply)
cheers bro!
Will check out your link too! xxx
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:21, Reply)
What else do you play?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:24, Reply)
instrument wise or music wise?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)
Both.
What do YOU play, and as a band, what do you play?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)
I'm the bassist and singer, as both my brothers are better than me at guitar.
We play guilty pleasure rock, such as Iron Maiden, Steve Vai, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, ZZ Top, Aerosmith, Soul, Blues, etc...

All around all the popular places in London basically.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:37, Reply)
Nice.
You are the Osmans, and you owe me a fiver.

Do you do any original stuff or is it all covers?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:46, Reply)
used to do loads of originals but no market for it
www.youtube.com/user/DonkeyGums here if you're bothered.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:04, Reply)
I love live music, I will listen.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)
the fool?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:43, Reply)
heh

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:45, Reply)
Hey, I got no love
and that must have put everyone else off.

And I used my best dead hooker anecdote, too.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)
sods law man, mention a dead hooker and everyone goes quite through guilt

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:13, Reply)
its funny what shapes your life
one accidentally dead hooker at 14 and now here I am, 3 decades later approaching triple figures.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:24, Reply)
Alright deegee

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:26, Reply)
you're like a might Rugby horse, full of good looks and pure awesomeness
I'm sorry this isn't funny, but it's what i feel.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:31, Reply)
things i am looking forward to:
tomorrow: Bomb The Music Industry! gig in bristol
25th: the ashes
February: Crystal Castles gig here in Cardiff
March: Stuart Lee gig here in Cardiff that was cancelled earlier this year due to "sudden family illness"
May: My twin brother playing at a festival for our birthday.

It is important to have things to look forward to.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:26, Reply)
Are you based in Bristol?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:28, Reply)

"here in Cardiff"
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:31, Reply)
Oooh, check out the big brain on Lighty!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:32, Reply)
it is less than an hour on the train,
and even so, i have never really been except once or twice to the zoo.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)
Just called two all-ins with pocket 8s
surprise, one of them had a bigger pocket pair. I should know better by now.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)
weird, i had a dream last night that involved me playing poker and having a pair of eights.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:34, Reply)
i never play poker,
which was the weird part really.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:38, Reply)
So you've done your $50 then, yes?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:35, Reply)
Managed to stagger back up to 3rd place
but then went all in with QK suited against what turned out to be JA off and ended up as a full house, Aces over Jacks. That's when you know it's time to quit.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:37, Reply)
So what did you win this time?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:44, Reply)
pissed it up the wall jeff
fortunately it's from my bankroll so it don't mean nothin'.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:55, Reply)
Is that how you roll?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:57, Reply)
I didn't reload and I stopped before I used more than half the money already in my account
so it's a "just move on" amount
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:01, Reply)
What is your biggest ever win?
And loss.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:03, Reply)
Biggest ever win is $2200 ish - after losses
that's the one where I had to prove my identity before they'd release the cash. Or if you want proportionately I once finished 6th out of 2211 in a freeroll and won $75 for no buy-in, which is INFINITY PROFIT.

Biggest loss is probably about $1600.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)
no...

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:32, Reply)
The Louie is a great great pub.
You been there before?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:34, Reply)
no, i'm not based in bristol.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:35, Reply)
You getting the train or driving over?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:40, Reply)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:49, Reply)
To what?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:50, Reply)
to whether i am going by car or train
or not
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:57, Reply)
Parking near the Louie isn't too bad, there are two pay and display
car-parks within 5 minutes of the pub, train wise, you are a ten minute was away from Temple Meads.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:03, Reply)
SSG
You are a pinnacle of lol, you often make my humourtits do a milky squirt all over my screen, I like you a lot, even though you're too tall.

I heard that you're so tall that castles often talk about you on internet boards as the feel that you're boasting.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:35, Reply)
i am tall here in wales where people are shorter.
i feel more normal heighted in england
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:37, Reply)
How come you're so tall?
I have a theory that people that ate too much cucumber as a youngling grow too tall.

did you eat lots of cucumber as a child?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:40, Reply)
i definitely remember eating some cucumber as a kid, i don't know if it was more less or the same as a normal kid

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:57, Reply)
So there we have it folks, too much cucumber as a child will make you a giant.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:06, Reply)
is anyone still around at all?
good evening if so.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)
Alright? Where did you have dinner.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:34, Reply)
local pub
which is now owned by a spanish couple so does awesome tapas.

did you go out?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:38, Reply)
Only to the offy.
I got some wine.

Good food I take it?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:40, Reply)
yup although we ordered far too much
it is distressing that we consumed 99% of it. less distressing for me, as there were about 10 meat/fish dishes that i didn't touch.

i am terrified about the dentist tomorrow morning...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:42, Reply)
But you might get a sticker if you are good?
That MUST be something to look forward to, surely?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:47, Reply)
what if he says i need a filling?
i don't have any fillings. nor do i have any toothache. but i do have black marks on the back teeth from too much diet coke. and it's a new dentist, so he might tell me they ALL need filling. argh argh argh.

/phobic
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:49, Reply)
You'll be fine Swipe.
If the dentist asks you 'are your teeth cold' don't answer 'no'

And it'll give him/her the chance to says 'That'll explain why they are wearing yellow coats'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:57, Reply)
they are not yellow!
now i am thinking about them, so of course they are all hurting.

shit shit shit shit shit i am never going to sleep tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:00, Reply)
Well stay on here and let me take your mind off it.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:02, Reply)
but... but.... NEEDLES

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:05, Reply)
but...but... JEFF

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:08, Reply)
Hello
You are a girl.

I am DG.

I dare say* with this introduction you are probably frothing at the burger this instant.

*previously sat
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:39, Reply)
you dare sat where?
this could seriously affect my answer.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:41, Reply)
edited because of beer all up in my fingers.
ANSWER NOW.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:43, Reply)
so the question is, am i frothing at the gash from getting to talk to you?
hang on, i'll just check...




...... no, you'll have to try a bit harder than that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:44, Reply)
fackin' 'ell, you must be a right blindo. ok, I'll try my special moves
*sellotapes a pug to his chest*

DO YA FANCY DOIN' SOME PRESS UPS WITH ME?!?!?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:46, Reply)
that's not how it works
i will just lie back and wonder if your christmas bonus will stretch to redecorating the ceiling. you can do the press-ups.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:48, Reply)
Maybe he wants to artex YOU?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:49, Reply)
meh, if he has a penis and a pulse
it's understandable
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:50, Reply)
Misguided would be my guess.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:51, Reply)
what a lezza;
Even a pug sellotaped to my body does fuck all.

I give up. Your orgasm will be half hearted from here on out, like an OAP blowing dust off a sideboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:51, Reply)
now look here
there's no need to get personal, just because you have no idea how to pleasure a girl! i mean, pugs be ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:53, Reply)
Now this is just scadalous.
The fact that even having a pug in the room isn't enough he push out some muff cream, but also saying that just looking at me isn't as well!???!?!?!!??

I don't understand you.

I bet you're one of those girls that likes candles and in and out stimulation, you SCHLAG!

what a weirdo...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:56, Reply)
well i don't know what you look like, do i?
you could be hotter than the lit candle or you could look like the pug licking piss off a thistle.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:58, Reply)
well imagine a hot guy licking a pug off a thistle and that's basically it

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:07, Reply)
wow oh wow
that is some specialised niche fetish porn right there.

damn this leather chair, i keep sliding off it now.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:10, Reply)
ahhh there we go
*pulls Jeff Goldblum face*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:17, Reply)
it has, however
taken you 40 minutes to warm me up to this stage.

is that because you really believe in prolonged foreplay, or is it more a case of striking blindly around for hours until you hit the right button in the dark?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:20, Reply)
Shall I do more press ups?
I'm DG, I usually just look at woman and they fly off like a burger fountain.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:28, Reply)
can you do them one-handed?
and use the other for something more useful?

i'm not your typical woman, i am RSWIPE. hear me roar.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:32, Reply)
I can do 1 handered press ups and use the other hand to stroke various animals, like beavers and fannybeasts

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:38, Reply)
well it's only taken 50 mins to get to this stage
i think you're improving a lot, but maybe you should put "the joy of sex" on your christmas list, to be on the safe side?

you do get a bonus point for "fannybeast" though.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:44, Reply)
Nah thanks,
but seriously, everyone knows that you're playing hardball, and I'm playing too, and that you should be busting your elastic to just talk to me, and I'm all like...."...yo...I'm DG...." and I'm cool as I am.

I bet you need to wash your duvet after this thread.

Imainge me....yeah...dressed as a cowboy

Ask Lamptio. She give you the visualisation low down...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:56, Reply)
if we are doing this properly
it will be you playing with the hardballs.

i am not wearing any elastic. just a bit of satin. i can bust that if you like?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:02, Reply)
He's a lanky Adonis.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:03, Reply)
Hello :)

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:39, Reply)
*waves*
loads of us still up it seems
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:41, Reply)
hoorah!
and hello maxi
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:42, Reply)
You've just broken Light's heart.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:48, Reply)
firstly
i very much doubt he gives a flying fuck.

secondly, i said "hoorah" at seeing him. what more does a man want?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:49, Reply)
Lots of things.
Tell me Swipe. Do you bake?

berk can bake cakes.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:50, Reply)
do. i. bake. ????????????????????
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

no.

but i can afford to buy many cakes with my city lawyer salary, will that do instead? 'cos it's sort of all i've got going for me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:51, Reply)
Would the City salary run to carrot cake?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:52, Reply)
24 carat cake if you like

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:54, Reply)

24 carat cake orgasms a night if you like
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:55, Reply)
blimey
i never thought you of all people had hidden shallows, jeff. oh sad day.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:56, Reply)
I can't win

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:59, Reply)
the sooner you accept that, the smoother your life on here will be

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:00, Reply)
My life on here is a lot smoother than real life anyway.
I'll continue as I am, thanks very much!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:01, Reply)
well... ok.......
i mean, if you're SURE.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:02, Reply)
What do I know?
Life is easier if you tell me what to do.

I'm all yours Swipe. What should I do?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:06, Reply)
stop wearing ladies underwear
the fifteenth time is neither funny nor sexy
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:09, Reply)
saddest of sad faces
but I forgive her because she's gorgeous.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:10, Reply)

saddest of sad faces
but I forgive her because she's gorgeous + legally savvy and will take me to the cleaners if I say owt else.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:11, Reply)
what, ME???
hang on whilst i print this page for framing...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)
You have a nice personality
AND you're an attractive lady. Don't you be all emo.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:14, Reply)
oh i see
downgraded from "gorgeous" to "attractive" in the space of about 3 minutes. what's next, "she tries so hard" ???

:(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:16, Reply)
Could be worse.
He could have called you 'Cute' or 'Sweet'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:20, Reply)
god no
he doesn't hate me
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:23, Reply)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:29, Reply)
Be warned Lighty.
She is a tricky customer. Don't play poker with her. (Unless she asks REALLY nicely).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:30, Reply)
or unless it's strip poker
although i will admit it's cold this evening
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:31, Reply)
And you'd turn up commando , wearing a once-piece
Just as a gesture of confidence.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:34, Reply)
i'm shit at poker
i'd come as an eskimo
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:43, Reply)
treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:29, Reply)
you won't be able to keep it up
erm, that up, i mean.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:33, Reply)
Just got home
May be slightly inebriated, as everybody came into the pub to see my ring (it's being resized *sob*)and buy me congratulatory drinks. People are so nice.
I didn't say thanks to all you lot for the lovely messages on Friday night, but I was too shocked and pissed and busy taking phonecalls from my dad where he played songs containing my name down the phone.
It's sunk in now. My grandad's still dead and I'm still determined to leave Facebook, but other than that I'm floating on air.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:43, Reply)
I always find that a female's ring gets resized whenever they see a DG post.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:44, Reply)
I suspect you're right.
There's another trip to Hatton Garden *tut*
*resizes*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:47, Reply)
my friend went to hatton garden to choose their ring
got caught up in an armed raid and had to be locked in the shop for safety. i think i'd take that as an omen. meanwhile the only other customer in the shop was the one who had run in, panicking and screaming about the raid.

yeah, the one who had left HIS fiancee in the street with the gunmen on bikes... i'd take that as an omen too...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:59, Reply)
Well all I found was a very friendly Benjie-type dog called Archie
and a nice lady called Miriam who gave me a plastic ring as consolation for the temporary separation while mine is made smaller (my baby-fingers have next-to-no knuckles apparently).

I like my omens better.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:02, Reply)
yes, yours are positive
and do not make me think you should run screaming into the next county!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:04, Reply)
Not unless I am allergic to dog tongue

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:06, Reply)
unlikely, i think you should be fine!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:07, Reply)
I get to see Archie again on Saturday
Even if they have accidentally turned my ring into a hat pin, I shall be happy at seeing Archie.
And Miriam's pretty fit too...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)
i think you should try and steal him
mind you, my friend is thinking of calling her baby archie. i hope i have dissuaded her...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
I have a colleague with an Archie child
He kind of suits it. Not as much as Archie the dog suits it. He has grey whiskers because he is a distinguished older gent.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:14, Reply)
this is my point
it is a dog's name. or it is archibald, and it is an old giffer's name!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:15, Reply)
If you have problems with that.
Let me know. I might have some ointment that'll help.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)
I bet you do!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
I do.
It's called 'Jizz'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:21, Reply)
as everybody came into the pub to see my ring
Come'ead lar!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:48, Reply)
Just an average Mundee really...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:51, Reply)
The things you people do since they canned Brookside!
Anyway, whilst I replied to the general congratulations threads, can I add a personal congratulations to you and DJ.

I don't know you, I'll never meet you but congratulations all the same.

I'd use the words 'made up, boss' but that would look like I was taking the piss.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:54, Reply)
It's ok, the future sister-in-law called me boss too
I like the affectionate regional ribbing.
It's not to say we'll never meet either. There's only one ring on my wedding finger ;)
I jest. Cheers dude. How's sheeit with you?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 0:56, Reply)
Interesting at the minute.
Well, interesting to me, not interesting to tell the Internet about.

The next couple of week will be crucial.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:00, Reply)
Oh come on Jeff
you can't tease us like that.
What's going on?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:03, Reply)
Hardly a tease
I jacked my job in a short while ago and I'm trying to relocate, I've got a few sniffs, but nothing in place yet.

I'm running out of money (and time) and I'm hoping the conversations I've had will lead to something!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:05, Reply)
Of course they will
You're JeffTheDogFucker and 2010 is the Year of Astounding Turnarounds.
Trust Aunty Roota.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:07, Reply)
I hope so.
I've made so many bad decisions in my life, I've got to come up trumps soon.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
B-LEEV BRUV

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
I do believe
It's making everyone else believe, that's the problem.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:14, Reply)
I SAID B-LEEEEV

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:17, Reply)
Sounds good
especially after the third bottle of wine
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:12, Reply)
hello darling!!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
hello there!
How are you doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:17, Reply)
i am most excellent thank you
lovely meal with friends, all good.

although dreadfully scared of the dentist in the morning, because i am a total wetpants.

have you been out partying then?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)
Caught up with a friend
we had much wine, watched a little bit of tv and had a chat. It was nice. Glad you've had a nice evening as well.

Just a checkup or got stuff planned?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:20, Reply)
just a checkup
but although i am normally religious about going every 6 months, somehow it has been about 18 months and it's a new dentist. i am terrified he is going to look at all the diet coke stains on my back teeth and prescribe a million fillings.

i've never had a filling, and i am a TOTAL wuss!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:22, Reply)
The good thing about diet coke
no sugar :) it'll be fine! Just hope that they're nice
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:24, Reply)
i reeeeeeally hope you are right!
ooooh, he might be fit.

yeah, right, swipe. because lying there gurgling whilst he is wrist deep in your molars is a good way to pull?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:26, Reply)
according to snugglesacks, yes it is
and fingers crossed that he's fit
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:29, Reply)
oh god i forgot about her!
snugglesacks may be the worst term for tits ever. and that includes my ex, who once called them "breasticles".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:31, Reply)
Is breasticles better or worse than
Shirt potatoes?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:36, Reply)
they are both awful
but snugglesacks is currently the leader in weirdness
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:39, Reply)
and cringeworthiness

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:42, Reply)
yeah
she managed to work them into every story
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:47, Reply)
"she"
was probably amorous badger.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:49, Reply)
I'm not so sure
seemed a bit of a wellconstructed lie for that
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:52, Reply)
you're probably right
it just seems that he would enjoy watching all the sweaties, as he calls them, fisting themselves over it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:54, Reply)
it was a tiny bit gruesome
people asking for pics
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:57, Reply)
why, amberl, why? why would they do that?
why, why, why???
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:03, Reply)
because
there aren't enough pictures of breasts on the internet already.

I've heard they're accessible by the click of a mouse these days though. But internet strangers in dire need of confidence are much better
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:04, Reply)
it's because on here they can pretend that they are being ironic and lolwacky
before rushing home to wank into a crusty sock
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:05, Reply)
thanks for that mental image!

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:08, Reply)
you're welcome
you also know which particular individual on here it is particularly true of!

not that this helps your mental image problem. urgh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:11, Reply)
:S
now my skin is crawling!
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:13, Reply)
yes
i don't know why i started this. to help encourage bulimia maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:22, Reply)
It's working
I am now a bowl of noodles and some red wine lighter
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:25, Reply)
haha, wait...
urgh, me too.

and on that charming note, i think it's bedtime... please please keep everything crossed in the morning for me and my teeth!!!!!!!! x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:29, Reply)
will do!
Best of luck of course. x
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:31, Reply)
*Waves at Amberl!*
How are you? Have you eaten?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:13, Reply)
I stuffed my face
with ho fun noodles. I am now considerably rotund. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:18, Reply)
I'm good thanks!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:32, Reply)
Eh up

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:15, Reply)
I shall say it again
congratulations!
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:17, Reply)
Aw fangs!
It is more real now. Even with my big red plastic 80s ring-in-lieu.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:18, Reply)
I was going to ask
the typical questions, then I thought you must have heard them about forty times already. So instead, how has your evening been?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:19, Reply)
How do

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:16, Reply)
Good thanks
you? I just watched the latest Supernatural
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:18, Reply)
Good one
all dogs go to heaven!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:21, Reply)
it was quite sad
that Sam knew something was missing :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:25, Reply)
it's interesting to watch him play it that way
you can see from what he does what's missing.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:26, Reply)
I reckon that if Sam gets his soul back
that what he suffered in hell is going to mentally incapacitate him though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:32, Reply)
I suspect it'll be mostly about toppling Crowley
Do you have PratchettFlashbacks every time his name comes up?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:34, Reply)
nah I forgot all about it*
* much like him

No, though poppet did mention that Alistair Crowley apparantly comes from the same place in Scotland
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:39, Reply)
Ah an actual fit girl, what are the chances!
Right, imagine if Bono was watching you masturbate.

Right now, imagine if I was watching do a jig saw...whats better? yeah?

Now imagine me watching you masturbate...and now DO A POTATO PRINTING OF SUCH A SIGHT TRY NOT TO STAMP YOU MINGE WITH DG LUST YOU CRAZY WOMAN!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:20, Reply)
amberl before you take offence
note that he called you an actual fit girl.

i just got a girl.

DG must die for this. maybe via cancer of the cock?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:21, Reply)
haha see my reply below
I think he's just guessing/hoping
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:22, Reply)
That's because you're got unconventional shoulders, they threw me
I bet you've got a clit like a plum so it makes up for it loads.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:23, Reply)
you do know the pic in her profile, in the red woolly hat
isn't REALLY her, right?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:25, Reply)
wat....
I am saddings :'(


*sniff* dg crying now...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:26, Reply)
weeping salty tears of guilt and shame
from all three eyes can't help you now
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:27, Reply)
It's like a pissy shame dribble coming out all my 'oles..

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:35, Reply)
you must be catholic, what with all that guilt

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:42, Reply)
AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I can't help myself! I look like Paul Weller looking into a fountain of rockers I've got so much shame!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:44, Reply)
saying that, I'm going to watch some Anime in a sec.
Maybe 'X'
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:44, Reply)
someone left a copy of Death Note
at my door. I'm still not sure who
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:46, Reply)
That's an awesome doorstep present!
I usually only get bird poop or knickers. sometimes both with upsets me, but that's my fault for smiffing without inspection.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:48, Reply)
stop dating
women who look like massive pigeons.

I reckon it was a friend who wanted me to watch Death Note, but he denies it :S
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:49, Reply)
That's well gay.
I would just kick down your door, shout about how there aren't enough knickers on show (pushing for you, in ya kecks, with a solid broom-on, like a mighty blue whale) and eat all your marmite.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:52, Reply)
this would definitely result in Death Note watching
why don't you have your own agony aunt column?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:53, Reply)
I do actually on another website, but that's for another time baby.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:58, Reply)
don't tease :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:00, Reply)
chemical castration sounds like the only solution

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:45, Reply)
nah fuck that, I'll just hang around Soho for 10 minutes and a girl will pick me up.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:49, Reply)
in soho
it MIGHT not be a girl
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:51, Reply)
here's hoping!
GNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:07, Reply)
you know
there IS something of the stallion about this. or gelding, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:12, Reply)
An actual fit girl?
Wrong thread :(

But those images... it's too much to take in. I'll take the jigsaw scenario please
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:21, Reply)
YOU'RE A DG GIRL.
LET'S GO RIDE AN IMAGINARY HORSE TO CLOP TOWN
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:25, Reply)
Yup, I'm finished
even if I'm not really a mong with a red hat :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:30, Reply)
aw man :(
I thought I was getting a fan club together but obviouslt not :S

Well, have some Koren pop instead www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:34, Reply)
that is ridiculously sweet
and you have a fanclub, just one less red hatted mong
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:38, Reply)
aw fair enough, that's more than most people can ask for I suppose
I still want to rotate you btw...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:43, Reply)
join the queue
the very short queue
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:47, Reply)

I'm rotating you right....now.....
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:49, Reply)
blimey riley
my screen is misting up here, guys
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:51, Reply)
I have that effect sometimes

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:52, Reply)
I've got my broom-on on '4 = maximum womb demist'

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 1:59, Reply)
turn that radiator up high

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:04, Reply)
Sorry for my absence.
I've been gushing over this.

illegal-art.net/allday/

It has Depece Mode vs Pitbull.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:05, Reply)
How very DARE you >:(
I'm going to bed in a bit and you haven't said one fucking word about how awepope I am to the other fanny owners here...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:06, Reply)
I came when you called and complimented your good looks.
You are stunning, with hair like a waterfall and legs to make Naomi Campbell jealous.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:09, Reply)
i am now picturing the french dude from the l'oreal adverts on the top
and lenny henry on the bottom
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:13, Reply)
What can I say, he's a sexy man

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:17, Reply)
hey Lampito :)
how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:08, Reply)
Fucking BUZZING off that album
It's made a mildly shit day fucking INCREDIBLE. Just read the sample list and weep.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Day
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:10, Reply)
I'm no good at music
just the sight of Black Eyed Peas, Ludicris and Eminem makes my soul weep
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:13, Reply)
This is the guy who mixed Goldigga with "ohh ohh ohh it's magic!"
and made it work.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhNgIZZsb6Y Start at 1.45. Or listen the whole way through.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:14, Reply)
Part of me wants to believe you
but my ears have been hurt before
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:16, Reply)
Do what I said, and keep listening.
You'll be rewarded with Depeche Mode.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:17, Reply)
Beastie Boys/Beatles mashup
www.filestube.com/3bd53a655236ffbd03e9,g/dj-BC-Presents-The-Beastles.html
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 16 Nov 2010, 2:18, Reply)

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