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This is a question One Night Stands

Freddie Woo says: "I was young and desperate, she was older, divorced and was sick on me. Seemed an acceptable criticism at the time." Tell us about your one night stand disasters, or lie about your triumphs.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Mar 2014, 16:05)
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Had anybody done the 'nightstand' joke yet?
Only a nightstand is where you hide a chamber pot. That little table where you keep your mills and boon and your nhs false teeth isn't called anything, you dreadful climbing bourgeoisie.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:39, 33 replies)
This to win

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 10:42, closed)
^gay for shambles

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:30, closed)
Obvs

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 20:38, closed)
"bedside table" surely
Unless that hides the quim-bucket
(I helped save b3ta! ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 11:37, closed)
If enough people think that "nightstand" means "bedside table", then that's what it means.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 11:45, closed)
Fucking Soviets. You're the reason we've lost the Empire.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:14, closed)
5,000,000 'LIKES' ON THIS POST WILL GET 'PZWXXZWYQRFX' INTO THE OED

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:27, closed)
A nightstand,[1] alternatively night table or bedside table, is a small table or cabinet designed to stand beside a bed or elsewhere in a bedroom. It serves the role of a coffee table[2] during nighttime hours, at a person's bedside.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nightstand

Your move, Shambles, you prescriptivist has-been.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 14:33, closed)
Move? Whatever for? That's about the most feverishly bourgeois post you could possibly have made.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:18, closed)
^Never admits when he's wrong

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:31, closed)
I regularly admit I'm wrong when I'm wrong.
It's hardly my fault that I'm wrong far far less often than the average witless pleb on here, is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 17:45, closed)
My accurate pedantry trumps your inaccurate pedantry, no need to start getting all Wolfie Smith on me.
Now *cracks fingers* how's about a few more nightstand puns?
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:35, closed)
I was sneering at your bourgeois descriptivism from the perspective of the established leisured classes, you daft twat.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 17:47, closed)
The established leisure classes don't say "daft twat"

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 1:48, closed)
Good grief.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 9:22, closed)
What about where you keep your penis beaker?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 17 Mar 2014, 11:47, closed)
what has YM got to do with this??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:08, closed)
Just seeking to express my appreciation of Yes, Minister through the medium of penis beakers.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:10, closed)
worst tina turner cover evzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:24, closed)
If you've got a penis beaker chances are you spend most nights sleeping on the sofa anyway because of some imagined slight because your missus is the sort of fucking hippy feminazi cunt that mumsnet is full of.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 12:18, closed)
Bitter divorcee^^^

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:13, closed)
Doesn't make me wrong though.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:30, closed)
chamber pots go under the bed
otherwise there's no reason to give them the nickname of guzunder
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 15:45, closed)
Only if you live in a hovel.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 17:48, closed)
i've recently upgraded to a dive

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 18:17, closed)
flash cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 23:25, closed)
you're only jealous

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 16:00, closed)
totes

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 17:33, closed)
don't worry, i'm sure you'll find your dream cardboard box one of these days

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 19 Mar 2014, 13:24, closed)

Mine's called Barry.
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 17:39, closed)
Is this thread your admission that you don't have a proper toilet in your house?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 19:37, closed)
all my bogs are improper

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 17 Mar 2014, 23:25, closed)

Actually, it's called an end table.
(Avnas dosh!, Tue 18 Mar 2014, 8:31, closed)

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