Double cramp!
You know what it’s like when you get a leg cramp. Yeah, it hurts, but once you get yourself into a standing position and get some weight on it, then it settles pretty quickly.

The other night, though, I woke up with really bad cramps in BOTH legs! Couldn’t bloody move to stand up. For once in my life I was really glad I was married and a quick scream woke up the wife. A yelling of barely coherent instructions resulted in her at the end of the bed pushing on my feet trying to ease the pressure. It took a while, but it worked.

Think for a moment, though, of our next door neighbours, woken up at three in the morning by me shouting “AAAAARRRGH. HARDER. HARDER. PUSH HARDER. AAARRRGGH. HAARRRDDDEERRRRRRR! YES! YES! YES!”

They think our sex life is far more interesting than it really is…….
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 6:55, 5 replies)

Cramp!
I fuckin' hate it!

Nothing worse than being woken up in the night with your legs trying to bend themselves round your head!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 7:50, closed)

I had this a couple of times a night for a year when i was 18 :(
Ended up on medication to stop it due to a suspected mineral deficiency!

The pain is quite indescribable and i'm so glad those days are behind me (still get it form time t time though)
( Victor Meldrew, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 9:04, closed)

Try getting a cramp in both the front and back of your leg at the same time (calf cramped, went to stretch it and the front cramped but the calf didn't relax) in the middle of the pool too deep to stand up in.
(xanthine, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 9:27, closed)

Flying Cramp
Late one night, emerging from a club, I vaulted impressively over a fence dividing a bus lane from the road. Not so impressive was the landing, as both my legs cramped up while I was in mid air.

Good job there wasn't a bus coming...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 9:34, closed)

Cramps, major bummer
When i first got diagnosed with fibromyalgia (bout seven years ago) i was getting terrible leg cramps. I used to get them if i had to sit still for any length of time, for example travelling in a car. Where i would also fall asleep (fibro again).
I once got cramps in both legs when getting out of a car in a car park. The pain was so bad that i passed out and fell, wedged between the car i was in and the one next to it. My driver had parked in a space next to a car parked almost into our space, so i got stuck.
I couldn't get up or do anything as I was still cramped up when i came around, and all my driver could do was laugh, and the woman in the car next just complained that i was blocking her door. Cheers fuckers ! To add insult to injury, I poked myself in the ribs with my long cane (blind persons white stick) on the way down. (I laugh about it now though.)
It hurt like a bitch all round. Have a click, fellow cramp victim !
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 18:38, closed)