Cyclists
Oh, how I hate them so much.

Ok, so they are getting exercise, and they are saving money on petrol and car payments and that kind of thing, but that's about all the pros I can think of.

So now some cons.

- Cyclists at traffic lights. If it's red, then you stop. You want drivers to treat you well, and then complain when they don't, but you don't follow the same rules. I once saw a story about a man complaining that the police had "given him a ticket for turning right through a red light on his bike" because he didn't deserve it.

- Cycle straight. Are you drunk? No? Then cycle straight.

- Get off the pavement. It's where I'm walking. If you're going to cycle on it, then don't expect me to move, and don't have a go at me when I don't.

That'll do for now, need to cool my blood.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:40, 14 replies)

Cyclists who try and go through pedestrian crossings when there are people on them
That red light? It's there for a reason.

I saw a cyclist push his way through a busy London crossing once, with 30-40 people trying to get over the road in the limited time available. How he managed to avoid getting a thoroughly deserved kicking is beyond me.
( le brian, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:43, closed)

Damn them
I now just walk in front of them. They hit me, and they'll pay.

I also might push one over some day. Just for fun.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:45, closed)

no, don't do it!
my friend got run over by a bike the other day, she actually got knocked onto the tarmac and I had to scrape her off. She did get a 'you just got run over by a bike!" discount at the Cambridge Wine Merchants though...
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:53, closed)

^P-O-D^
i actually "stopped" a cyclist trying just this trick a couple of years ago on a crossing. put my solidly booted foot against his front tyre just above ground level. the cunt fell off. he tried to start something but i just stood over him and shouted "WHAT??? I'M THE PEDESTRIAN!! ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I'M THE ONE IN THE WRONG? NO! EXACTLY! NOW FUCK OFF!!"

and then i slunk off and had a cry!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 1 May 2008, 23:54, closed)

Well
Part of me want's to hear what you're saying, but the rest is going to continue to stand up to the stupid cyclist scum.

EDIT

You shouldn't have cried, you should have stood proud!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:56, closed)

^P-O-D^
i think the cry was just a reaction to the fury and adrenalin. and it was in private so that was okay. but i get your drift! it certainly wasn't a guilt-cry!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 2 May 2008, 0:05, closed)

damn right
I am an cycle person who does his best to stay on the straight and level. I stop at red lights and what not. Don't agree with people who cycle through. Tis irregal innit?
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Fri 2 May 2008, 0:11, closed)

Never give in
Walking through London in the morning you see many cyclists jumping crossing lights or trying to run you over on a zebra crossing. If it's early enough (no witnesses) and they could easily have avoided you/stopped and they are very close, then they generally get a good thump and at least an abrupt unscheduled dismount.
The really unlucky ones don't try to cycle off afterwards... :-)
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:11, closed)

kamikaze cyclists
I'm a cyclist and I have to agree with you. I've seen some monumentally stupid/cuntish things being done by lycra clad idiots like riding through red lights, undertaking articulated lorries and riding on the pavements.

What really, really irks me is when a suicidal cyclist does undertake an artic which is turning left and removes themselves from the gene pool in a bloody smear, the driver of said artic is immediately branded a cunt of the highest order because the fashionable lefty "the cyclist is saving the planet" bridage are on yet another safety campaign.

Cunty-cunts.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 2 May 2008, 10:13, closed)

I have a feeling
that I'm going to include cycling rants when I get round to posting something.

Not just ranting about cyclists going through red lights, but about people abusing cyclists for no other reason than they're jealous that the cyclist can get through town far faster than them.

Yes, I'm a cyclist. No, I don't jump red lights, cycle on the pavements, use my mobile whilst cycling, knock old ladies over or rape your pet dog.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:23, closed)

I was cycling up new oxford street the other day
both lanes on my side were solid with stationary traffic so i started weaving my way through when some bastard taxi driver intentionally nudged forward right up to the bumper of the car in front then started ranting at me for cutting through the traffic!

There seems to be a lot of these 'I hate cyclists' threads. I'm tempted to start an 'I hate car drivers' one.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:11, closed)

Cycling is hard work.
And having to stop after youve finally got some momentum going is frustrating. (Not just a matter of putting foot to accelerator from a comfy dry chair) If theres a red light, and no fucker is crossing (because they pressed and didnt fucking wait) - I will go through.
And I dont give a damn.
Biggest cunts on the road?
Bus Drivers. no competition.
(Phlash, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:53, closed)

This...
" I once saw a story about a man complaining that the police had "given him a ticket for turning right through a red light on his bike" because he didn't deserve it."

Was it in the US? Because people are allowed to turn right on a red light there I think.
( RadioElectric, Sat 3 May 2008, 19:36, closed)

twats in lycra
First of all, I like bikes - I mountain bike (less since I broke the same shoulder twice in a year), I grew up BMXing and I'd love to take summer off work and cycle all over the UK on historic routes like the Fosse Way. Oh, and I am just about to buy a second bike to get to the station on, as I am buggered if I am leaving a bike that costs more than my car for pikey scum to steal/vandalise/look at in a funy manner.

I say that, so that I am not just branded another Jeremy Clarkson (although I *want* his job - I can donut a Lambo whilst shouting "Power, Power , Power" jsut as well as he can). But, and this is the thing...I absolutely hate cyclists in London. I'd happily take a crossbow and pin every one of the bastards to the tarmac. Why?

It's easy - because they aren't powered by pedals, they are powered by their own sense of smugness and arrogance. You either get the ex-Greenham Common wannabe hippy creaking along on some piece of crap with a basket at 2mph, whilst weaving across the entire road, or you get the ponce in Lycra who approaches a red light and crowded crossing at 20mph and swears when the pedestrians don't throw themselves out of his way. Believe me, pal, your time is not more valuable than mine - I don't pedal a fucking bike for a living, for a start - you're a pizza-delivery monkey with delusions of grandeur.

Don't even get me started on Buses or the wankers of the London Underground....grrrr.
(Chance, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:54, closed)