Would you like to taste the wine?
I realise that if this is the apex of my problem mountain I shouldn't exactly be marching to Downing Street, but this is my pet peeve.

When you select a bottle of wine in a restaurant (second cheapest please), the waiter invites you to taste it before your glass is filled. The reason for this is to ensure the wine is not "corked" ie reacted with the cork, and gone bad. By taking a sip of the wine you can instantly tell whether or not it is safe to proceed. It either tastes like vinegar, or the crappy bottle of wine on which you've just spunked £12.95.

It is, therefore, unnecessary to:

Hold the glass up to the light;
Swish the wine round and round in the glass;
Sniff it;
Suck it through your teeth;
Make a face like you are concentrating;
Leave a moment of suspense before saying "mmm yes thats very nice, thanks".

That is all.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 2 May 2008, 11:56, 8 replies)

cor...
£12.95 - that much ?

Screw that ALL wine tastes like vingegar. Just order the Malt Vinegar and sip that.

Much cheaper.
(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Fri 2 May 2008, 12:01, closed)

strictly speaking
you shouldn't say that you would like to taste the wine, because that implies that you think the restaurant isn't capable of buying decent wine from a reliable source, and is therefore a bit of an insult.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:05, closed)

Hear hear, it's simple etiquette
You don't need a reason to send a bottle of wine back, but gentlefolk only do it when it is corked - and then as you point out there is no need for a great ceremony, although it's quite acceptable to give the glass a good nose before tasting, and swishing the wine around does release the aroma; granted most people have a good enough sense of smell for this not to be absolutely necessary.
(lost, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:08, closed)

.
I'm not sure that's true, happytulip. I think good bottles of wine can go off just like cheap ones.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:08, closed)

@happylittletulip
You should always taste the wine, and a good restaurant will always offer you a tasting, for the simple reason that corked wine is not infrequent, and it tastes horrible.
(lost, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:09, closed)

i feel your pain, but...
The second cheapest is always the wine on the list with the highest mark-up - no one wants to be seen buying the cheapest so restaurateurs are wise to this - it's usually cheap crap. Ironically the cheapest is often better. If this is your ploy you’d probably be best just buying the house – there’s no shame in this. The house wine will be as good as the level of cuisine, simple as that.

'spunking' £12.95 is not really that expensive - do remember restaurants have ever increasing overheads. Yes they do add about 60% but they also make your dinner and serve it to you. They are also entitled to make a profit - it's a business not school dinners.

When 'tasting wine' your right - you don’t need to turn in to Baron Rothschild.

Never 'taste' the house wine. It is regarded as being 'good' as it is your host's own recommendation. So it's an insult to doubt his taste.

Which brings us on to the 'tasting' you are merely looking to see if it is corked - this is 10 times more likely with white wine - it's easy to spot... do swill the glass a little but not ostentatiously then get your nose in. If it smells like damp cardboard it's fucked.

There is no real need to taste it. Your wine waiter or if it's a proper posh place 'sommelier' will appreciate this from you.

If when you do taste it is seems 'vinegary' it may be oxidized. Let the waiter deal with it.

Don’t be afraid to ask the waiter his advice - he's not just there to sell you the most expensive bottle.

If you want a bargain avoid classic wines from classic regions - they're often over marked up because people simply recognise them.
Instead try a variety you like but from an emerging new area of production - i.e. cabernets and merlots from Argentina or Chile are often fantastic at a fraction of their European counterparts. also look out for regional varieties that are close to the classic region i.e. if you like Chianti try montepulciano d'abruzzo

‘Bin ends’ are also a good way to get a bargain -again don’t be afraid to ask.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:26, closed)

.
It doesn't make any freaking difference which brand the wine is, its not about the restauarant owner's taste, ANY WINE CAN BE CORKED. £1 WINE OR £10,000 WINE CAN BE CORKED, ITS EITHER CORKED OR ITS NOT.

I'm corked. I'm not going to post again until i have sobrered up. This time i mean it.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:59, closed)

People
Who sniff the cork make me laugh. Have a guess what it might smell of.

Cork. Hardly surprising really.
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Mon 5 May 2008, 11:48, closed)