Females spilling your beer & expecting to get away with it
Last night.

The last McEwans in the place.

I leave my pint on the table (after severely disciplining Mrs Osok for daring to have a sip), turn my back for a nano-second, and all of a sudden there's this young girl sitting flat on her arse on the floor, surrounded by a flood of India Pale Ale, and actually having the temerity to bawl her eyes out, having got her clothes wet with my precious beer.

Now a gentleman knows what to do in this situation. If another gentleman spills your flagon, it is a simple commercial contract. He buys you another, or you physically assault him with extreme prejudice, up to and including biting his jugular out.

If a lady does the deed, then surely she should be treated as an equal, and make amends as above?

Why should I be treated as a master criminal because she is now soaked in ale? Why is this now my fault? Why is she unable or even unwilling to face the consequences of her clumsiness?


So, as a truly chivalrous chap, I was left with no option.

None at all.

I was forced to pick the bawling maiden off the beer-soaked floor, drag her upstairs, and remove her soggy clothing with all speed........














Well, it was bathtime anyway. She's only 18 months old, after all.




What were you expecting?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 3 May 2008, 15:18, 4 replies)

Have a click
For making me laugh!
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Sat 3 May 2008, 18:39, closed)

If I had a hat...
...I would doff it at you, Sir! Well done for making me laugh out loud at this god-awful hour of a Sunday morning.
( bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Sun 4 May 2008, 7:37, closed)

okay
so you fucked a baby?
(woo who?, Mon 5 May 2008, 15:54, closed)

^ humourless unlurking cunt

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 7 May 2008, 15:52, closed)