probably been done
People in shops asking "Can I help you?" Help me to do what? Help me to look through the merchandise? Help me to choose a book based on a lifetime of varying tastes? Help me to make up my mind on a gift for someone they don't know? Help me to read the first page of a book to see if I like it?

And the liars. "Don't worry - those shoes will stretch 4 sizes... this £2 Casio calculator is just the thing for your physics PhD... ZZ Top is like Enrique Iglesias, madam..." A shop assistant told my wife last week: "It says polyester on the label, but it's silk. They have to say polyester because of the chemical process they use."

And you know, I believe every word they say. After all, they must be richly endowed with eons of wisdom and expertise working IN A FUCKING SHOP!
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:39, 3 replies)

Leave Shop Workers alone!
But I have to tell you about the girl in Currys who asked if she could help me.

Big mistake.

"Yes, I'm looking for an upscaling DVD recorder with a HDMI input, at least a 160 HD, Freeview with twin tuner... but NOT a Philips."

"um... ", proceeds to read the cards on the shelf for the players...

"Yes, I've done that already."

If you're going to ask to help... at least be able to do more than read the cards that I've already read.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:44, closed)

And He's Back...
Where the fuck have you been?

I've missed you.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:50, closed)

frank!
You're back! Yay!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:58, closed)