I have been lucky enough
Not to have to perform in front of an audience as me, for a very long time. Any time I have to even introduce myself to a group, the adrenaline kicks in and I start shaking like a shitting dog, even when I don’t really think I feel nervous.

I do however have to appear as someone else almost every day.
I work as a sign language interpreter so I am usually up in front of people, such as groups of teenagers at college, arty farty types at festival talks and events, information events, wedding speeches, suited and booted serious types at work meetings or training or conferences, anything you can imagine doing in your life, I could be there sat in front of you. Being someone else. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest, the only important thing is that I understand what is being signed/said or that my clients understands me.

Most people are interested enough to watch for a bit to see what is going on with that lady flapping her hands around at the front, then generally lose interest and concentrate on the speaker.

All audiences have one thing in common though, no matter who they are.

You can 100% guarantee that the second, THE VERY SECOND any one utters the words, shit, fuck, bollocks, erectile dysfunction, vagina, marijuana, cocaine, fuck, sex, breasts, balls, penis, nipples, semen, cock, wanker, thrush, bullshit, masturbation, poo, wee, diarrhea or any other 'rude' word you can think of, every single eye in the house will turn to me, and look to see ‘Ooooooooooo how do you sign THAT!’

Even after 10 years of doing it, I still sometimes find myself blushing.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 21:15, 21 replies)

I must write to CBeebies.
Something Specail has yet to cover signing any really interesting words.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 21:36, closed)

I'm not greedy
Just describe the sign for masturbation and diarrhoea.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 22:02, closed)

You could pretty much guess
on those 2.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 22:56, closed)

AICMFP
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtW-RtMJkwY
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 22:48, closed)

HA!!
I have never seen that before! That is EXACTLY what I mean!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 22:56, closed)

Guilty as charged
I worked in theatre many years ago and when the signer would come in for signed performances we would try to talk them into teaching us swears.

We had a problem when we had a signed performance of The Rivals. As I'm sure you know there is a character, Mrs Malaprop, who confuses words, for example she will say pineapple when she means pinnacle. I tried to explain that this just wouldn't work signed but no one would believe me.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 23:10, closed)

haha
Although there are puns and near homophones in sign languages, too... You know how in translations of literature the translator will try to invent some similar wording to get the pun, alliteration, or allusion or whatever as close as possible? I bet if you had a good consultant and way too much time you could do this. :)
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 3:12, closed)

this was on links
nsfw for language and signing
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv3tadz5Q3o
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 23:41, closed)

I know.
I was very impressed.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:07, closed)

Cunt.
I thought of another one.

Cunt.
(username failed moderation, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 9:40, closed)

Whereabouts in the country do you work?
My mum, brother, and father-in-law provide BSL support at varying levels in and around London.

And, in fact, now I think about it, a huge portion of my family have, or had, some involvement with the Deaf community. I've got level 1, my wife used to work as a TA at a deaf school, my sister's just passed L1... I could go on...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 17:41, closed)

Bullshit!
Sorry, I mean I believe your story but the only thing I know how to sign is "bullshit". I did know "gay" (as in homosexual*) but I've forgotten it -- which is a shame because I seem to recall it looked like some kind of pointing you could do to mates and they'd not think anything of it.

*Not knowing sign language I don't know whether "gay" as in happy and "gay" meaning homosexual are the same, or whether "homosexual" and "gay" are the same sign or not.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 17:50, closed)

BSL
Isn't a 1:1 equivalence to English. It's more about the concept that is expressed by a particular sign. BSL is a completely separate language, which is as different to English as, say, Mandarin...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 17:57, closed)

Yes, I know that.
I was taught "bullshit" in BSL by a colleague and the "gay" sign in a restaurant in Norway. I'm told they use BSL in Norway rather than anything local -- because it doesn't matter.
This is why I made an effort to explain the meaning of the word "gay" I was referring to and, also, why I mentioned I knew it may not be signed the same as "homosexual".
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:01, closed)

There is a Norweign sign language
with 2 dialects, but sign language users tend to be able to switch into almost any sign language quite easily, especially when they have experience of it, and the native language has borrowed or developed from another.
'gay' meaning happy has a different sign to 'gay' meaning 'homosexual'.
'gay' and 'homosexual' are the same sign but just performed in a more informal/formal way respectively. It all depends on the context really, and if you are talking about a man or a woman.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:15, closed)

Thanks, the drunken conversation is coming back to me.
It could be the whole Nynorsk/Bokmal and other dialectal stuff that meant she knew and used British.
So, what is "gay", meaning homosexual, then? I think it's a bit like a "pointing two guns" gesture, for some reason...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:36, closed)

here you go!
www.britishsignlanguage.com/words/index.php?id=345
The same page has the sign for lesbian too. Although I do both from the palm of the hand. Oo-er.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 19:43, closed)

Oops! Sorry...
That sounded horribly patronising, didn't it? Beg your pardon, sir!
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 20:00, closed)

It's OK, you can't help it.
You're thumbs-up rocking on an open palm. Well, unless you are gay, in which case you're some sign I don't know which means "straight".
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 20:43, closed)

Yeah, fist clenched with middle finger unfurled to you too, mate...
X wuv oo
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 23:47, closed)

You are Mr Tumble

(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 12:11, closed)