Beer drinkers and hell raisers
Back when I was pretending to be bisexual (because it's so alternative), I placed an ad in a gay newspaper looking for women or couples. (Yes, I am very old, pre-internet even.) Most of the ads in this paper were (and probably still are) as boring as batshit, being confined to sensible-shoed earnest lesbians and men interested in cock, cut or uncut, so my ad with its reference to ZZ Top and general alternativeness was made Personal of the Week, probably because it prevented the Personals editor from falling asleep at his desk.

Unsurprisingly, I only got one answer, from a pleasant seeming couple who lived in groovy St Kilda (for Melbournians, this is back when St Kilda was still a bit downmarket). I agreed to catch up with them after seeing L7 and the Cosmic Psychos at the Palace. After the gig I popped around and had a few beers with them, listened to Radio Birdman and talked music. She was a slightly hippy looking alternachick who was pleasantly plump, he was an ex-army dude who, although OK looking, gave off an unmistakable whiff of desperation. Still, we're just chatting about punk rock at this stage, no need to get huffy. So far, an ideal evening.

As it got late it wasn't practical to go home, so the girl brought me some blankets and let me sleep on the couch... "unless you want sex?" she whispered discreetly.

"No", I replied, "If it was just you I'd consider it, but your guy..." *shrug*

It's the sort of social blunder 18 year olds make. I lay on the couch all night listening to them fight bitterly. Was it *my* fault she decided to share this information with her partner? I fled home as soon as I woke up. Later, I heard through the queer grapevine that they had divorced, and I caught a glimpse of her in Albert Park having ditched the hippy look and scrubbed up as a rather attractive professional lesbian.

I am now back on solids.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:36, Reply)