Not an official, as such, just another member of the moronic public...
... Bought a ticket to see second Hobbit movie in HFR 3D. This required a trip to one of the biggest cinemas I've ever been in, screen 1 at the Vue near the Reebok in Bolton. Huge. Seems like it seats a couple of thousand people. Seriously, ENORMOUS. Cannot emphasise enough just how ridiculously many seats there are in this place.

And when you buy a ticket, you get a seat number assigned to you. You can probably tell where this is going. It's reasonably late in the run for this film, so when I enter the cinema alone, I find I am the third person in there. Just two others, way up near the back. So I don't pay any attention to seat numbers or row numbers, just sit down somewhere convenient and settle in to surfing the 'net on my phone waiting for the adverts to stop. The trailers begin... and a couple enter the cinema.

They are patrons number four and five, remember, in a cinema bigger than a football pitch.

They walk around a bit. They closely examine their tickets. They walk around some more. Eventually, after an interminable two minutes or so of wandering around, he comes over and say "I think you're sitting in our seats". Interesting choice of phrase given that there is, as I said, one of me. Even if I am, in fact, in one of the seats he's booked, since my wave function is localised, I'm by definition not simultaneously in the other one too.

As it is, I don't get into a conversation about the Uncertainty Principle with him. I just look around slowly, taking in the THOUSAND EMPTY SEATS surrounding us, and say "Are you serious?".

He similarly looks round, and it slowly dawns on him that he can sit wherever he likes. He mumbles a bit and wanders off.

The film was SHIT.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 11:40, 14 replies)

The other good reason for not engaging anybody in conversation about uncertainty is that you clearly know nothing about it.
Pro tip there.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:05, closed)

Ahaha you could say haha he was hahaha
a little UNCERTAIN ABOUT IT!!!! HAHAHAAHA
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:10, closed)

Oh I say. How drôle.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:53, closed)

Drolling the drôles

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 13:05, closed)

anyone who uses the term pro tip
is obviously an over officious cunt
just saying
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 15:39, closed)

You certainly are unlucky
If there are 5 people in a 2000-seater cinema and you happen to pick one of the seats someone else has booked!
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:15, closed)

I once spent a good while in a cinema looking for seat GA

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:22, closed)

I share your dismal opinion of the film.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 28 Mar 2014, 12:35, closed)

As do I.
(Avnas dosh!, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 5:52, closed)

Why did you pick the seat you did?
Perhaps he booked it for that reason?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sat 29 Mar 2014, 8:56, closed)

^This

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 29 Mar 2014, 12:14, closed)

you should have moved one seat over and spent the next 2 hours glaring at him

(dyllon nice beaver., Sat 29 Mar 2014, 9:39, closed)

laring at obbling
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 29 Mar 2014, 12:13, closed)

I believe this was the plot to a comedy sketch sometime in the 90s.
Harry Enfield maybe?
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 17:00, closed)