Toilet Attendants
Fuck those guys, seriously, fuck them in the eye.

The sheer audacity of some dickhead in a burton shirt who expects me to tip him for watching me piss and guilt tripping me into washing my hands afterwards.

Especially that last bit! If i haven't pissed on my hand why shoulld i have to wash them? I don't expect a dettol mouthwash to be administered to someon who's just given a blowjob, though that would offend me less.

sorry, i digress

ALSO! If you are one of those people who utilises their wide array of afltershaves, hairgels and cunt-varnishers you should be a-fucking-shamed of yourselves as you're blatantly part of the problem and don't know how to enjoy yourselves when you're out.

...I realise this post may have turned into a semi-therapy session but toilet attendants will be first up against the wall, mark my words
(Waffle Iron ain't gonna take it anymore, Thu 27 May 2010, 21:04, 16 replies)

The amount of piss germs on peanuts and other bar snacks that are left out
should tell you all you need to know about washing your hands after you go to the toilet. Yes, you might not have pissed all over yourself, but you still have germs on your hands which get transferred to door handles, light switches and other things that I've got to put my hands on.

If you don't wash then I have no sympathy for any guilt trip that you are taken on.
(Mr._Pickles, Thu 27 May 2010, 21:17, closed)

I don't like peanuts
so nyeh.
(Waffle Iron ain't gonna take it anymore, Thu 27 May 2010, 22:40, closed)

I don't eat the peanuts either,
but see 'door handles and light switches' etc. Every time I shake hands with someone I hope that they're not a dirty cunt like you.
(Mr._Pickles, Fri 28 May 2010, 1:31, closed)

'Piss germs'?
This seems rather unlikely given that urine is generally sterile (unless you have some form of urine infection). Also, how many things have your hands touched since you last washed them? How many things has your cock touched since you last washed it? If anything you should be washing your hands first to avoid getting your cock dirty
(madsporkmurderer, Fri 28 May 2010, 12:10, closed)

cock germs
Ah, finally, someone else gets it.

"eew, you didnt wash your hands after a piss!" people say.

No, actually, I deliberately don't. You know why? my cock is clean. Washing it is a very enjoyable experience that I do very thoroughly. It spends the majority of its time wrapped in clean cotton. Its of adequate length to stop me getting piss on my hands, so why the fuck would I wash my hands after touching it? The chances are that the tap handles, the dryer, the door handle and infact pretty much every other object in a public area are all dirtier than my cock will ever get, but if you start getting OCD about that sort of thing, you may as well move into an oxygen bubble and never go outside.

People worry about me not washing after a piss, yet are happy to hold a crumpled tenner in their mouth as they fumble about to pay for something - now THAT is seriously unhygenic.
(dave likes cheese, Fri 28 May 2010, 12:37, closed)

But
I thought you didn't wear pants for years?
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Fri 28 May 2010, 15:27, closed)

pants
I don't. I do wear trousers though.
(dave likes cheese, Sat 29 May 2010, 12:50, closed)

^ this ^
having worked behind a bar i always overtip barstaff, waiters etc. but i do not need some gurning trout with the inevitable pineapple hairdo and (in london anyway) total lack of english scowling at me because i can wash my own hands without paying her 2quid for the privilege.

and as for the skanky fucking second hand non brand dirty cheapass makeup... fuck that nasty shit. ugh ugh ugh. makeup is the only area in life where designer really is the only way to go, oh, and you have to be the only person using it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 May 2010, 22:50, closed)

Fucking bog trolls
I can't think of a more irritating profession
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Thu 27 May 2010, 23:26, closed)

Cheryl Cole (Tweedy again?) would agree with you

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 28 May 2010, 15:51, closed)

I call them toilet flunkies
might aswell spit on a hanky and wipe my chops while they are at it
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 28 May 2010, 10:04, closed)

I've never been anywhere posh enough to have a toilet attendant :o(

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 28 May 2010, 10:54, closed)

They don't have to be posh
I was in a low grade titty bar gentlemen's club in Liverpool a while back, and there was some boy holding a towel and dispensing bog roll, aftershave and such other items.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 11:32, closed)

go to any bar in London after about 10pm at the weekend
and you'll see them. And realise just how un-posh they are.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:26, closed)

I wash my hands after having a piss
although I suspect they are probably dirtier than my cock, in general.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 11:31, closed)

I agree I hate them too
but always wash my hands after a piss. Even though, yes, I should probably wash my dirty hands before touching my clean cock, I'm still conditioned like this and do look down upon those who don't - I know you don't piss on your hands but if I shook your hand I wouldn't want to be shaking your wee chap as well.

As for toilet attendants, take my advice: Roll your eyes to yourself when you see them (this helps therapeutically), have your much needed wee, accept their nice smelling soap and hand towel, look 'em in the eye and say 'sorry mate, it's all on cards tonight, I haven't got any cash' and walk off. What the fuck are they gonna do? (Obviously don't take stuff like aftershave for free, that would be a bit far).
(Mr_Lew, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:06, closed)