Hasn't this been done in June this year?
Ah, well, fuck all has happened since so I'll just repost something from June this year, when we had this topic five months ago, in June this year.
~~~~~~

So anyway, my boss was a right cunt. Always taking liberties and I was getting no praise. He once asked me to do a report on which customers had a website or not and the feasibility of flogging them one. So I basically went through the yellow pages, finding all the entries that included a url in the ad. After all of these were put into a spreadsheet, I did a bit of SWOT analysis (strategic business planning thing) and presented him with and A-grade white-paper.

Later that day, I overheard him discussing it with his manager about all the work he'd put into it. Bastard had taken all the credit.

Anyway, that gives you a rough idea of the cuntery.

One day he asked me if I'd sort out his home computer.
"What's wrong with it and when do you want it doing? I'll do it on my dinner hour if you bring it in but you let me leave 90 mins early" I said.
"It's not printing properly and it takes ages to start up. I can't bring it in because I can't let you leave early. You can do it on Saturday instead" he replied.
"Ok, but it'll cost you." foolishly forgetting to name my price. It sounded like his cartridge has run out or just needs the drivers reinstalling and thus I would only need to spend 30 mins in the invidious cunt's company.

So on the Saturday I went round there, and sure enough the printer was out of ink. I set about downloading stuff. I also ran a Windows Update, which showed that he was two service packs behind on Office 2003.

"Can you go get a printer cartridge or two?" I asked him. I wrote the name down on a scrap of paper. He agreed and went out to PC World.
A couple of minutes after he went out, his wife brought me a coffee. She had 10 years on me, but had certainly aged well. She sat beside me.
"Where's he gone?" she asked
"Just gone to shop to fetch an ink cartridge"
"Will he be gone long?" she asked and began stroking my leg.
I was surprised at first, but then I thought 'Fuck him, he's a twat' and took the bait and let her slide her hand higher.

I was beginning to get a semi and she rubbed it. I then had an idea and I called him on his mobile and sent him on a wild goosechase; giving him a shopping list of various parts from different shops. He'd be gone an hour at least.

She unzipped my trousers and took out of my cock, lent over and took it into her mouth. I couldn't believe my luck.

She gave me a blow job in the whilst installing Office*. After ten minutes of her going at it like a dog eating a hot chip, I then bent her over the desk and shagged her so hard she was going to be walking like John Wayne for a week.

I pulled out and dumped my filthy porridge all over her tits and she licked the dribbles from the end of my still twitching cock.

She got up and left and I heard her upstairs getting a shower just as he returned with the shopping list.

I finished sorting his computer out, including running various security utilities to remove the porn dialers he had installed. He gave me a tenner for my troubles the tight cunt, but I didn't care. I was satisfied and I left with a big smile on my face.

How is this relevant to the question I hear you ask. That very same day, I'd been down the post office and bought a new tax disc. However, I didn't change it until about a week later on the 3rd of the month.

Ha! Take that DVLA, That'll teach you for robbing me of £120.

* potentially a fledgeling meme
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 12:59, 5 replies)

Yeah, right! I call bullshit.
There's no way anyone would take that kind of risk with a tax disc.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 13:05, closed)

It's not like he saved any money either

(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 16:45, closed)

I am envious of anyone who has had any sort of sexual relations with a lady.
So PH33R MY MOCKING!

Yes! This really happened!

Etc.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 13:10, closed)

That 'reader's stories' section in the Sport ain't what it used to be.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 11 Nov 2010, 16:19, closed)

Paging frankspencer...

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:12, closed)