Errrrmmm...
One night I went out on a date with a woman in the downtown of our city, and we had dinner and drinks at a nice little restaurant. We sat and chatted for a while after dinner, but we both agreed that while we were both pleasant people, neither of us was what the other was looking for, so I got into my car and started for home.

As I was passing by the 24 hour pharmacy I realized that I needed to pick up toothpaste and shampoo, so I swung into an empty space and got out of my car. Three spaces away another car pulled in, a snazzy little Mercedes convertible, and a couple in their fifties popped out. They were both obviously the worse for drink, and the man slurred that he was going in for cigarettes.

The woman rolled down her blue striped stockings, revealing a large and elaborate tattoo on her right thigh, and hunkered down on the pavement with her leather miniskirt hiked up and her growler about two inches from the ground and released a flood.

She looked up and saw me staring in shock at her, and gave me an inviting leer.

I chose to do some leisurely shopping while I was in there, until I was certain that they had gone.
(Shimrod, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 20:52, 34 replies)

Sounds a more promising date than the one you had.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 21:45, closed)

The thing is, that woman HAD been his date.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 19 Jul 2014, 4:18, closed)

^ this
otherwise why is the description of the boring date even in the story?
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Sun 20 Jul 2014, 20:14, closed)

Fucking hell Americans and the need for personal hygiene. Who the fuck goes on a date and then realises they need
toothpaste and shampoo? tell me, who does not realise they need shampoo and toothpaste, what sort of new species of internet shutin are we dealing with! USA USA USA USA - ad nauseam

Welcome, Chinese overlords.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:09, closed)

You're just like my mother.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:16, closed)

I had meant to do it earlier in the day and forgotten, but was reminded as I passed the store.
We Americans prefer to take care of our teeth. Unlike you, apparently.
(Shimrod, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 22:22, closed)

that'll be why you have easily the highest rates of dental caries in the developed world

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 9:19, closed)

Am I the only one disappointed to find that quinch has deleted the detailed breakdown of his dental routine?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 9:27, closed)

"25 replies", cried a little when I thought someone had 2.0'd me

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 9:39, closed)

It was all lies, I wear dentures - get more money from the old men at the bus station toilets becuse of this.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 11:32, closed)

I think it was his confession that he doesn't go on dates that did it.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 16:38, closed)

wtfayboa

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 17:04, closed)

from an American menu..
Deep fried, cinnamon battered, triple decker sandwich stuffed with ham, turkey and Jack cheese, dusted with powdered sugar and served with a side of honey
just what a turkey, ham & cheese sandwich needs ....batter, sugar, honey and cinnamon. You bunch of fat fucks ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:57, closed)

Bet that was a starter

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:24, closed)

Thats nothing...
I saw this heart attack on a plate in the menu of a Denny's a couple of months back:

Peanut Butter Cup Pancake Breakfast
Chocolate chips and white chocolate chips inside two buttermilk pancakes, topped with hot fudge and drizzled with peanut butter sauce. Served with two eggs and hash browns, plus your choice of two strips of bacon or two sausage links and a side of warm syrup.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 0:55, closed)

terrible deleting of original comment here

( rofl harris, Sun 20 Jul 2014, 20:11, closed)

too dull to live

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 0:06, closed)

Wish I had gone with that in the first place. I bow to you, master.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 0:08, closed)

too legit to quit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 19 Jul 2014, 1:47, closed)