My folks took me on holiday to the South of France when I was about 9.
Cap D'Agde. Staying in one of those in a big static caravan parks. Facilities included swimming pool,tennis courts, boule gravel pit. People went and came and came and went to their homes. We had the usual Enforced Family Board Game Jollities (We're a FAMILY and we're HAVING A GOOD TIME! rant obligatory). But then we went down to the swimming pool.

Topless women. Topless FIT young women. Sexy topless FIT young women rubbing suntan lotion into their frontage. Pretty young things.

I'm 9. I am interested in what is going on through some kind of genetic predisposition to be interested in lovely semi-nude ladies with beautiful glistening oily boobies.

WHAM! Smack round the back of the head from my mum.

"Don't look at the ladies without clothes on" she whispered fiercely in my ear. Dad got off scot-free for the same crime, apparently.

So, mother, you bring me here to tempt me and punish me for falling for your trick. That's unfair.

Still, memories can't be erased.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 21:56, 21 replies)

But they can be rubbed out.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 22:41, closed)

Touche, sir :-)
touche on my special place.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 23:46, closed)

she knew that your father was a closeted homosexual

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 22:48, closed)

I checked the milkman's hair
we didn't match.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 23:42, closed)

also, as I'm sure your dad could probably beat up my dad
I'm gonna let that slide on this occasion.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 23:44, closed)

Yeah, but your dad bummed his dad.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 23:45, closed)

in terms of the honour system
being the bumee would put him technically behind the bummer. I don't kow, I don't do bumming bingo. I don't even have my scorecard anymore.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 23:48, closed)

Lucky Pierre: 50 points

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 8:11, closed)

Speaking of honour systems
Is there such a thing as an honour bumming? Like honour killing but not as self defeating?
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:48, closed)

All I remember from my cildhood holidays in France
is the bread and sausages were fantastic, and I didn't like the French.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 2:43, closed)

I like breasts,

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 8:15, closed)

^ straight.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 22 Jul 2014, 8:39, closed)

eewwwww
I know you heteros think it's normal and can't be cured or whatever but you really shouldn't go forcing your deviance in our faces
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 9:49, closed)

Unless we're lashed, naked, to a lamppost,
when it's compulsory.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:15, closed)

I like straight people as long as they behave gay in public.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:38, closed)

r
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:13, closed)

any holes a goal

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:43, closed)

"So, mother, you bring me here to tempt me and punish me for falling for your trick"
this line reads horrifically as if it were your mum's mams that you were perving over.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:22, closed)

^ bit gay

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 22 Jul 2014, 14:14, closed)

.
.
(smarty_pants, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 13:43, closed)