Jukebox

Having a quiet drink in a hard as fuck pub in Holloway, surrounded by skinheads, there was a fella sitting on the next table who looked alarmingly like Charles Manson.

I put down my book, place my cigarette carefully on the lip of the ashtray, get to my feet and walk casually over to the jukebox.

It was one of those jukeboxes with the front cover of the album behind glass, the sort you can push a button and flick through a catalogue of cds.

I got a few dangerous looks from the patrons, as if to say: put any shit on and we'll break your fucking legs. Nice pub.

But from my table way over on the other side of the large seating area, I noticed the distinctive black album cover for Soundgarden's Superunknown. I fancied a bit of Let Me Drown, and the skinheads had on their metal t-shirts, so thought they'd approve of my choice. We could all enjoy a nice lunchtime rendition by Chris Cornell on me. I thought I would be loved and admired.

I slotted my 20p in the jukebox, made my selection, turned and started the walk back to my table, waiting for the crashing chords of that Soundgarden classic to start and the approval of several dozen complete (and very hard looking) strangers to wash over me and make me feel all nice and warm and adored.

But when the speakers came to life, this hard as fuck pub was filled with a booming rendition of:

I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD!!!

...It was a long walk back to my table.

By the time the COME ON BARBIE, LETS GO PARTY!!! bit started, I was hurrying down the street, hastily slipping into my coat.

Those fucking jukeboxes confuse the hell out of me...I'd rather take an exam than try and get one of those to work properly...
( SpankyHanky, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 13:52, 12 replies)

Did you press the wrong button?
Or was the jukebox booby-trapped?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 13:56, closed)

I have real
issues with these jukeboxes. I can never seem to get them to work. Its like taking a fucking exam and I always fuck it up.
( SpankyHanky, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 13:57, closed)

we used to do that deliberately
walk into a pub, get a round in then put the worst fucking songs on that we could find


Then see what happens
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 14:08, closed)

Anything by Bryan Adams
That would make me want to kill you... Slowly.
( SpankyHanky, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 14:26, closed)

gabba
death metal, and the rednex has a similar response
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 14:37, closed)

over here
anything not from the "PubTracks Greatest 100!" gets people trying to lynch you.


Or maybe that's just my town.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 8 Feb 2009, 5:55, closed)

i did once
have to promise the barman that i would break my mates arm if he put trivium on the jukebox again
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Sun 8 Feb 2009, 18:58, closed)

Me and my friends do this.
I think the worst we've done is put The Wurzels - Combine Harvester on repeat 5 times. I'm surprised I'm not barred from there.
(Xstopher, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 14:55, closed)

On the boat over to Liverpool from the Isle of Man,
my mate put Freebird on 9 times, we were fully tweaking out, and ended up with the bar room for ourselves haha.
(MikeyDio, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 16:05, closed)

The Wurzels?
What's wrong with that?

:)
(Scritty Bakerman., Sat 7 Feb 2009, 22:43, closed)

Just one point to add....
Badmotorfinger was a much better album than Superunknown.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 9 Feb 2009, 13:26, closed)

True, very true...
Never seem to have that on the jukeboxes in the places I frequent...

...I'd probably only end up putting on Things Can Only Get Better by D:Ream, anyway...
( SpankyHanky, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 13:34, closed)