Bugger
I will start by apologising for the lack of funny from the post

I was hoping that this week’s QOTW would cheer me up as I’ve been in a bit of a fracas the early hours of this morning. Turns out that one of the local scumbags had decided to break into casa Bison and nick anything of value to fuel his smack habit. The problem was our would be thief friend had all the stealth of a three legged hippo with chronic flatulence so I was woken up mid burglary attempt.

Being a rather stupid individual who thinks that the British Justice system would do sod all to this guy I decided to tackle the smack head face on myself and ventured downstairs with my kids plastic ninja turtles sword (yes the cartoon is still about nowadays).- In retrospect that is a pretty stupid idea.

I saw the outline of the bloke hovering over the TV, pulling out the cables for the PS3 and Wii before turning round to face me. Now put yourself in the eyes of the burglar he has just turned round to see the house owner coming towards him with a big sword (As I mentioned earlier it was still dark and my hand covered the part of the handle that says TNMT).

He dropped the TV, grabbed the Stanley knife he had in his back pocket and swung it in my direction and made a bolt for freedom. I would like to say that I twatted the bugger and stopped his escape but I was more concerned about the fact that my arm was cut in the fracas.

So now I’m sat here on my laptop at home with a small gouge in my arm while the police hang around, drink cups of tea and lecture me about trying to be Leonardo (the Turtle not Da Vinci). Turns out the burglar was pretty well known by the fuzz so hopefully something will come of this as he uses the same method of entry to each place he robs……….Intruder window.

Sorry about this I thought I should at least put a bit of effort into it this week. I did give you a warning that it wouldn’t be funny.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 16:30, 7 replies)

God damn it
I was actually trying to think of something sympathetic to say, as well. Worth a click for being skilfully played, I think.
(richardm, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 16:32, closed)

I used to like you
Now? Hmmmm.....


(I am jesting)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 16:33, closed)

Fuck me!
What an utter, utter cunt... (the burglar, not you)...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 16:49, closed)

Sorry Spank
But none of this is true, its just my way of adding a pun to a QOTW, thanks for the comment anyway.

(Hangs head in shame)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 17:09, closed)

Tell you what...
Let me know where you live, I'll come round and steal a few things just to make you feel better. I'll even slash you if you like. Can't say fairer than that! (Oh, but only if you've got any gear worth lifting). Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 17:16, closed)

Intruder window...
fuck me...

just read this again and thats a fucking awsome pun. When I read it today at work I was in the middle of trying to sell somebody something and I had a feeling they were trying to swipe my stapler, and I was reading this and checking out the new girl in the office all at the same time. I know, they should make a Hollywood movie about that encounter, it was that fucking exciting. So, anyway, didnt read your post properly. Now I have and its fucking awsomely cringeworthingly excellent, if I hadnt already clicked you'd get another one now.

intruder window... classic!!!

either that or you deserve to go to prison.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 23:50, closed)

a click or prison?
Knowing the person that I am I would probably say I deserve both
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 9:08, closed)