I did this, really!
Many years ago, in the time of my life I think of as "before Pink Goddess made me happy", I lived in Oxford. I had a great friend at work, who was known to all as "Mad Mouth", because his mouth was mad. He and I were both addicted to puns, and enjoyed the finest puns as often as we could.

He and I used to drink together at every opportunity. However, he and I had girlfriends, and so we ended up drinking at ours Friday one week and theirs the next Friday. One evening at ours, Mad Mouth's girlfriend Jo was looking at an unusual teddy bear we had in our house. My then girlfriend (ECW) had made it. Jo said she wished she could do something like that.

ECW said that she'd get her a kit from the craft shop she worked in, so she could practice the technique. This was agreed.

The next day, I said that I wanted to choose the kit. ECW said OK, and so I took her to work, and selected one. She paid for it on her staff discount and brought it home. Monday came around, and I took the kit in to work and handed it over.

Friday rolled around, and off we went to theirs. When we arrived, Jo held up her handiwork. We duly admired it.

Mad Mouth said "It's a mouse, isn't it?"

"No," answered Jo, "it's a guinea pig!"

A beam of sunshine outlined me, as somewhere above, the angels sang. "That," I said, proud that I'd managed to make this work, "that is why I chose that one for you to practice on!"

It took a week, but I managed to make sure that she practiced on a guinea pig.

Mad Mouth agreed that I'd won that one.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 20:57, Reply)