Star Trek
After years of service in the engine room, the dylithium crystals began to take their toll on Scotty. The constant bombardment of radiation had made him go bald. Kirk wasn't impressed.

"Mr. Scott.", said Kirk, "I run. An hirsute ship. You. Must. Do something about. Your naked bonce. The. Crew. Are getting. Distressed. Come. With me to. The toupe level."

And so they went off to gather a selection of finest rugs. Back in the engine room, Scotty proceeded to try them on.

Each and every one didn't work. As soon as they were exposed to the radiation from the crystals, the static would make the hairpieces become charged with electricity, resulting in Scotty looking like he'd suffered a major shock.

Kirk was exasperated. He tried flattening the toupes with water; plastered them with gel, mousse and wax; even took the straighteners to them. But to no avail. Every time, the rugs ended up charged with electricity, and became frizzy and unkempt.

"Scotty. You must. Do. Something about your hair. You are putting. The crew. Off. Their duties".

"It's nae good cap'n", Scotty wailed, "ye cannae change the laws o' frizz wigs".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 7 Mar 2009, 1:26, 6 replies)

May I just say, on behalf of everyone:
*SPANG*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 7 Mar 2009, 7:28, closed)

*click*
nice transcription of dialect. and dylithium crystals. set phasers to stun!
( cackers, Sat 7 Mar 2009, 12:32, closed)

*joins No3l*
*SPANGS*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 7 Mar 2009, 13:41, closed)

spangin' away
Ok, we can stop the contest now.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 7 Mar 2009, 20:48, closed)

*warms up cast iron spang-a-lot-3000-mega-spanging-pan*...

*takes run-up*

*SPANGS*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 12:46, closed)

3 Spangs in one thread!
I've arrived!

Or is that come?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Mar 2009, 16:46, closed)