Am I Wrong?
I'm often asked to run interviews for various positions. Recently, a guy arrived for a front-of-house role, dressed rather bizarrely in a blazer and sporting a black polo-neck jumper underneath.

Not one to judge people by their sartorial choices, I continued with the interview. By the time I'd asked all the pertinent questions and had a glance over his references, I was satisfied he'd be suitable for the role. I informed him of this and as I stood up to shake his proffered hand, I noticed the beginnings of a huge tattoo winding its way up his wrist.

He clocked me looking and asked if the organisation had a problem with tattoos. Not knowing the full answer to this question, I replied half-jokingly, 'Only if they're not the repulsive type that creep up your neck!'

He fell back to his seat and rolled down the neck of his jumper. Vile. He did have one of those disgusting neck-tatts - an awful, amateur looking, faux-Maori design that ended just below his left ear. Then, to add insult to injury, he spun round and showed me the other side of his neck - some indecipherable script running from the base of his ear to god knows where else.

'Is this gonna be a problem?' He asked.

Lying through my teeth, I simply answered that it wasn't an issue for me, but customers may well be put off, and that the corporate dress-code would not allow him to ponce around in a polo-neck.

Well that was obviously last straw for this freak. The red mist descended and he started to lose his rag.

'It's just a fucking tatt mate!' he yelled, 'Everyone's got them now - this is fucking discrimination. I'll fucking sue you!'

Needless to say I had the last laugh, as I rejected his application and rescinded the job offer. He's probably sitting in the mud at a festival or working in Brighton these days.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 15:38, 21 replies)

Don't be silly - nobody works in Brighton

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 15:55, closed)

I believe they all bum each other for cans of Red Stripe.

(McChinaman banned, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 15:59, closed)

"Red ring for a Red Stripe, guv'ner?"

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:37, closed)

Didn't you check his self tattoo shots via his facebook at the application stage?

( Muns, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:07, closed)

What do you think I am, some kind of stalker?

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:09, closed)

hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:48, closed)

Well played...
well played...
( Muns, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 16:07, closed)

Giving the lie to an otherwise plausible tale.
I expect better from Liemallow.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:26, closed)

Oh fuck, I find myself on your side with this one.
I'll kill myself immediately.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:19, closed)

Promises, promises...

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:54, closed)

turn to dust, wedding bells just turn to rust...

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 16:57, closed)

This wasn't KFC perchance?
Just I did an installation for a KFC franchise a few years back, and whilst deploying their new server overheard a long-serving staff member get summararily dismissed after he came into work sporting a huge neck tattoo.

He was swearing his head off about "unfair dismissal" etc, but at the end of the day, company policy is "no visible tattoos". It was in his contract of employment. So he didn't have a leg to stand on. (It probably ended up in a bargain bucket!)
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 18:43, closed)

Yeah! It was KFC
And the interview straight after was an ex-copper, turned out he'd been sacked from the force for calling some cunt a nonce. Apparently the cunt had also beaten him up AND was caught speeding. And would you believe it? They fired the copper and the cunt got off!

Needless to say I had the last laugh, as the rozzer didn't get the job either. No one gets away with calling anyone a nonce on my shift.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 19:03, closed)

Hahaha

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 19:16, closed)

Nicely done.
Who are you, and what have you done with the real Albert?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 19:36, closed)

Don't ever change.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 1 Oct 2013, 20:12, closed)

You're getting better Albert.
Been on a course?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 1 Oct 2013, 21:22, closed)

Oh, well played.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 0:04, closed)

albert is my favourite

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 8:38, closed)

FUCK ME.
Serving buckets of fried chicken is now a 'front of house role'

Well I never.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 8:50, closed)

Did you have a power-wank afterwards?

(lurkylurklurk swings more, Wed 2 Oct 2013, 12:35, closed)