Absolutely nothing
Seen as I don't have one, like half of your reading / contributing public who you've managed to exclude.
This is the first time ever I've complained about a QOTW but this really is unfair and crap this time. Lady b3tan's let's unite and suggest stories about our periods.

*claps*
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:29, 29 replies)

if you read the question carefully though
you'll see it says with 'a' penis. not 'your' penis. think about it.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:31, closed)

As I just said on Off topic
You're right, but we only really have two options:

a) I shagged one
b) I sucked one

Doesn't leave much room to contribute does it mate?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:35, closed)

Hmmm...
Ask John Wayne Bobbit's ex-wife. She has an interesting story about something she did with a penis.
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:41, closed)

Oh
I'll do that later then and write about it!
:D
Wish me luck!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:44, closed)

Good luck
But stay away from my house. There's little enough there to begin with ;)
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:47, closed)

what about
c) tasted my arse on one

?



but in fairness i suppose that would be covered by option 'a'. i see you're point.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:11, closed)

Psst...
It's been changed to accomodate you willy-less types.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:32, closed)

bah
I might go out and get one so I can join in properly by doing bad things with it. Just how much can you do with a knob nowadays?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:37, closed)

You'd be
surprised.

or not, I don't really know.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:45, closed)

You are welcome...
...to borrow mine if you want. I don't really use it during the day very much.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:32, closed)

Ooh
Thanks! Is it a nice one?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:35, closed)

Well
It's got a certain 'heft', and it stands up well to pressure. Unfortunately it does occasionally leak during inopportune moments. Apart from that, it's all veiny goodness.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:40, closed)

I can't decide
whether to be horny or disturbed
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:45, closed)

I think
That a bit of both would be appropriate. Also, perhaps a bit of foreboding mixed in as well. And BOAT.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:47, closed)

BOAT
*gets the proper horn*
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:49, closed)

periods and the clap?

sounds nasty
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:32, closed)

"epic period"
We can have an epic poo, why not an epic period?
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:53, closed)

Oooh! Pick me pick me!
I had one of those- fucking hormonal contraceptive implant in my arm had me bleeding for three solid months when I was already borderline anaemic.

Stupid fucking doc said I wasn't giving it a fair chance and had to 'adjust' to it for longer, but I was ready to chew the fucking thing out myself by the end.
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 4:01, closed)

Sounds like a bloody good idea to me


_{Sorry. So, so sorry...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:37, closed)

Argh!!
back to least week's question for thee
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:38, closed)

I've bitten one, and covered one other in body paint, and laughed at many more...
There's possibilities there methinks.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:38, closed)

Periods.
Ewwwwww.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:49, closed)

I love your answer
just because it's hilarious when you read it alongside your board sig. Brilliant!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:53, closed)

Periods *are* ick
But mainly because I catch it all in receptacles all day and throw it at people who annoy me. Honest.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:55, closed)

Flicking bits of blob
is even more ewwwwww.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:00, closed)

^^This
Why? why? why?!

And just for the sake of morbid curiosity.. what receptacle do you use for that?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:05, closed)

Mooncup
FTW
(username1, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:23, closed)

I've never been able to get those to work
But then I don't bite my nails, so anything like that is going to be difficult.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 16:17, closed)

Here's a relevant Top-Tip
www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post386570
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 20:52, closed)