How to end a 3 year relationship by accident
A couple of years ago when i was in a long term realtion, as i took a long summer holiday all over america with my guy friends and staying true to her for 2 months while there were piles of poon all around for the whole time, i was promised a great and bountiful reward when i got home, which egged me on, so time comes that i get home and am welcomed at the airport by 'she' and we drive back to her house which here parents have left to her for the week, Sounds promising i think to myself
now jetlag had completely pwned me at this time so i go straight to sleep while shes at work. about 7 hours laters shes back from her part time job as a helper in an old peoples home, she informs me that the first part of my gift is in her handbag, so after a brief trip to the lav and a drink i look. there are 2 blue diamond shaped pills sporting the word 'pfizer'
she informs me of her plan to practically fuck for an entire day which sounds good at the time, so i pop them both in and we get down to it
many times
for many hours
now when on viagra when you REALLY dont need it
reload goes from about 45 minutes down to about 10 but your 'deposit' lessens and lessons, which is a bit sad to witness
anyway
about 7 or 8 hours into the romp
the room stinking of sweat and shame
my pork sword is lessening in its rigidity and is now slightly on the floppy side, a good firmness for a cockslap
but alas, i inform 'she' that this will be the last time before i need more sleep or a cock splint
so we get into this and she informs me she wants me to shoot my load in her face at the end, about 5 minutes into this particular expidition i get that twinge from below and it feels a bit wierder than just your average vinigar strokes
i carry on for a minute and notice that the faster i go the better it feels and thusly tell her to flip over and open her mouth
as im fapping away with this funny feeling continuing i just think 'fuck it'
this feels better when i strain so ill just go for it
HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG

oh god

I


PISSED


EVERYWHERE

all over her face, the bed, in her mouth over her tits her pillows ALL her clothes and in my run to the bathroom her shoes and the laminate floor in the kitchen all i hear from the bathroom where im trying to supress my self from laughing as im peeing at 45 degrees up the shower wall is profanities and explatives
of all kinda of unholy contexts
i stay in there for another 5 minutes making sure im empty
and then decide i should leave
as i walk out the bathroom theres my clothing piled on the counter so i take this as a sign that she thinks i should fuck miles of off
as i walk past her room on the way out i knock and a subtle reply of 'FUCK OFF I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN'
so i did.

as im walking down the road with my suitcase and numb cock i see a familiar car drive past me with 2 middle age people waving frantically at me,
her parents
'we didnt know you were back, when are you next seeing 'she'?'
'...You'll have to ask her that im afraid'
was my reply
which evoked 2 puzzled looks and they carry on to her house
i havent any more word from her, her parents or any of her friends for the last 3 years

im more ashamed of not taking advantage of the american poon situation, before coming home and wrecking my ex's downstairs and then peeing all over her house

WAKKA WAKKA
(wallaboing, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 23:18, 10 replies)

Dear God I hope this is true

(i should have joined myspace, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 0:06, closed)

She ended a three year relationship because of that?
Fucking hell.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:13, closed)

What he said.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:06, closed)

zomg
thats amazing, a possible winner
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:24, closed)

Seems harsh
I agree with clumsyeloquence. So it's a pretty horrible thing to go through (and funny as hell), but dumping you after 3 years for that is harsh.

Sympathy click.
(chrisdalby, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:07, closed)

i agree
but he doesnt sound so beat up about it ... were you at the time?
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:12, closed)

at the time yes
was a fair while ago
and telling all her friends and mine that i did it was good revenge
also over hearing random people i dont know referring to it in the local was fantastic
(wallaboing, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:26, closed)

But THREE YEARS?
My boyfriend pissed my bed when we'd been seeing each other about a month. He was drunk and mortified, I laughed it off, he paid for my dry cleaning, job done. Alright, so it's not quite as bad as your story, but it's not like you did it on purpose!
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:31, closed)

wow you poor bastard
I think she should toughen up a bit. I've experience a fair bit of accidental pissing in my time (mostly on me rather than by me). Mind you a full stream in the mouth is a bit much :D
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:15, closed)

Great, but...
video?
(Ktulu O'Ryleh float like a turd, sting like chlamydia, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 0:30, closed)