I done raped an elephant, what was scary at first, but in the end he seemed to enjoy it and even gave me a reachatrunkaround

( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:39, 10 replies)

Enjoyment levels aside, rape is still a (serious?) crime.

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:49, closed)

Yes you're right
It has to be taken seriously if you want a chance of getting away with it
( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:08, closed)

It's serious as cancer

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 23:41, closed)

Must have been a fudgepachyderm.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:07, closed)

It costs the same as the GDP of a small African nation (guess which one)
To buy enough Holerypnol to knock out an elephant. I use a brick in a sack. To reduce the noise - and therefore reduce the risk of getting caught, it is best to pad the brick with kittens. Alterwards simply throw it in a river, much easier during current floods.
( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:41, closed)

Bumbo

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:34, closed)

Or is the punch line
"Does anyone want to buy a 46 inch engagement ring? "
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:11, closed)

How can you tell if an elephant's been in your bed?
no EYE DEER.
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 0:34, closed)

But if you were doing the fucking, what exactly was he reaching around to do?
Stick his trunk up your arse?

Hmm. Now that's hot.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 8:33, closed)

This springs to mind
Urgent news - Karla has started to ingest her own head. Her dung pump mechanism has blown. There's bloody vegetable gas everywhere. For God's sake, help us pull her trunk out.
(DonMorte Cake is a made up drug, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 11:34, closed)