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This is a question Relief

Last week, I thought we'd run over and killed something. After steeling myself to get out and find the body of somebody's beloved pet, I found we'd squished a bin bag. When has something turned out not as grim as you first thought?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:38)
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I done raped an elephant, what was scary at first, but in the end he seemed to enjoy it and even gave me a reachatrunkaround

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:39, 10 replies)
Enjoyment levels aside, rape is still a (serious?) crime.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 18:49, closed)
Yes you're right
It has to be taken seriously if you want a chance of getting away with it
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:08, closed)
It's serious as cancer

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 23:41, closed)
Must have been a fudgepachyderm.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:07, closed)
It costs the same as the GDP of a small African nation (guess which one)
To buy enough Holerypnol to knock out an elephant. I use a brick in a sack. To reduce the noise - and therefore reduce the risk of getting caught, it is best to pad the brick with kittens. Alterwards simply throw it in a river, much easier during current floods.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:41, closed)

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 20:34, closed)
Or is the punch line
"Does anyone want to buy a 46 inch engagement ring? "
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 19:11, closed)
How can you tell if an elephant's been in your bed?
(, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 0:34, closed)
But if you were doing the fucking, what exactly was he reaching around to do?
Stick his trunk up your arse?

Hmm. Now that's hot.
(, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 8:33, closed)
This springs to mind
Urgent news - Karla has started to ingest her own head. Her dung pump mechanism has blown. There's bloody vegetable gas everywhere. For God's sake, help us pull her trunk out.
(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 11:34, closed)

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