Not random enough I fear.
I once had a dream where I woke up in bed at 9:00am, got up, rubbed my eyes, got up, rummaged around for some clothes, got dressed, wandered into the bathroom to brush my teeth, then went and sat on the couch in the front room and waited for the clock to roll round to 9:30 so I could get the bus to university.

I dreamt my entire morning routine which, ordinarily, would amount to the most mundane thing to dream about of all time. Except in this dream, I had SIDEBURNS.

Glorious bushy sideburns, stretching right down my face and joining my beard in some sort of orgy of facial hair wonderfulness.

Needless to say, I woke up and discovered I didn't have sideburns.

God, I wish I had sideburns.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:29, 9 replies)

Then grow some!

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:38, closed)

I am unable.
I'm the worst grower of facial hair in the world. Seriously, it's shit. even my beard looks like pubes.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:41, closed)

fashion yourself a pair of fake sideburns
out of shagpile carpet
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:49, closed)

I could shave two strips from my cats
and glue them onto my face.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:52, closed)

yeah, right
they're cats, they'd claw your fucking liver out if you tried to shave them.
immac won't work, either.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:05, closed)

Immac
On your cats?! They'd have your fucking liver out if you tried that...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:45, closed)

indeed they would
but a slow and lazy cat is perfect for playing cat buckaroo
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:47, closed)

Keep at it, you never know.
My facial hair is pretty pathetic but if I leave it long enough I can now actually grow a goatie and I think I could manage sideburns now. My facial hair is patchy as hell though and I wish I could grow a proper full-face beard.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:55, closed)

I often dream
of flowing matrixesque hair and sometimes (for effect), a beard. Trench-coats are often involved.

Alas I also am a grower of the patchy facial pubes.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 21:34, closed)