I am unable.
I'm the worst grower of facial hair in the world. Seriously, it's shit. even my beard looks like pubes.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:41, 2 replies)

fashion yourself a pair of fake sideburns
out of shagpile carpet
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:49, closed)

I could shave two strips from my cats
and glue them onto my face.
( PMGT -Bacon., Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:52, closed)

yeah, right
they're cats, they'd claw your fucking liver out if you tried to shave them.
immac won't work, either.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 19:05, closed)

Immac
On your cats?! They'd have your fucking liver out if you tried that...
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:45, closed)

indeed they would
but a slow and lazy cat is perfect for playing cat buckaroo
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 20:47, closed)

Keep at it, you never know.
My facial hair is pretty pathetic but if I leave it long enough I can now actually grow a goatie and I think I could manage sideburns now. My facial hair is patchy as hell though and I wish I could grow a proper full-face beard.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Apr 2011, 18:55, closed)