I've never been sacked
Been made redundant twice. First time, the whole division was laid off which was harsh but at least it was pretty transparent - everyone was gone. I also reported to a US division so I had a stupidly high US wage coupled with European paid holidays. Made a fortune off that.

Second time, the company pretended to go through a "consultation" saying people would be laid off based on core competencies, not what project they happened to be on. It was all a sham for the paperwork and they just laid off an entire team, me included. Felt bitter about that although the blow was softened by an enormous wad of fuck-off money.
(MagicMoose, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 17:16, 12 replies)

Damnit, Division.
Every time Jack tries to get something done, Division sends one of it's fucking suits down to screw it all up.

That's what we're talking about right?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 17:23, closed)

tsk, the SUITS - same as BIGPHARMA - open your eyes SHEEPLES!!!!!!!!!!

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 18:25, closed)

must have been a piss poor 'fortune' if you had to get another crappy job

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 19:29, closed)

It's better than working for 6 months
Getting paid over half a year's wages to go away and not complain isn't a bad outcome.
(MagicMoose, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 23:27, closed)

I got 60 grand after tax when they closed our place down
Better than a kick in the teeth
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 7:59, closed)

It's quite an achievement, to make oneself so unbearable,
that they'll pay you £60k to fuck off.
What's your secret?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:39, closed)

I was part of a start-up bought by a big US company which didn't know what to do with it.
All the value of the company was in our heads so they'd had to sign us up to daft terms so that we didn't leave.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 8:58, closed)

That doesn't strike me as a particularly clever way if doing business.
Did they make you empty your head before they gave you the £60k?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:28, closed)

there was about 18 months between the purchase and the redundancy
but no ... it was a really bad way of doing business

There's another big US company going through almost exactly the same process up the road at the moment ... at least one of my ex-colleagues is going to get his third big redundancy in ten years which is clearly a fucking daft way to conduct business
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 10:48, closed)

Obviously.
Ahahahahaha!
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 11:37, closed)

why I oughta!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 11:39, closed)

surely a hitman would be cheaper

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 9:56, closed)