Shouldn't be topical yet, but that's kind of the point
Save a shitload of money by realising that 95% of the things you do at christmas you are only doing because you have been brainwashed into thinking that that's what you are supposed to do. Go on, how much of this crap do you actually enjoy?

Cultivate the idea that christmas is something that, if you are going to participate in it at all, lasts for two or three days. Not a quarter of the year.

Refuse to waste time and money buying pointless overpriced crap, just so you can give it to relatives that you never see for the rest of the year and don't even like. Don't send cards except to cherished friends who are too far away to visit. Bring your kids up to expect a fun family day, and a reasonable haul of modest presents - not a frenzied consumerist hell of conspicuous consumption.

Let shops and companies know, in loud and strident tones, that any mention of the "C" word before December - preferably well into December - will result in a permanent boycott of their products.

Refuse to see tinsel & fairy lights as anything other than shiny tat which only appeals to mentally subnormal troglodytes. Complain about fake snow draped over every available surface, and the holly leaves printed on packaging which allows the price to be hiked.

Point out whenever possible that a) we do not live in the Victorian era, and b) the image portrayed of the perfect Dickensian christmas is a total fantasy. I have my own fantasies, thank you very much, and bescarved street urchins do not feature heavily in them.

If possible, opt out entirely. Invent a new religion if you must, but spread the idea that christmas is NOT COMPULSORY!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:45, 23 replies)

Bah
humbug.
(username failed moderation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:50, closed)

Last year, my mate's girlfriend went back to Canadialand to spend Christmas with the folks, while he stayed at home
He ordered a pizza and played computer games in his pants all day, said it was the best Christmas ever
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:53, closed)

Yup, I did it once (when I was single, natch)
Spent the day cleaning the house and had fish and chips for dinner.

Spent the weeks leading up to it with a shit-eating grin as I watched all the lemmings frantically scuttling about trying to find that perfect gift for great aunt mabel and sweating because they couldn't find a Tracey Island (or whatever it was that year) for love nor money. Fucking plankton-brained sheeple.

I recommend that everyone doesn't do christmas at least once in their life. It's amazingly, refreshingly liberating.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:12, closed)

I missed a Christmas once. It was fcuking awful.
Mind you it was due to my 17 year old self getting completely wankered on Stella the night before and was in no state to partake in any merriments until about 9pm on Christmas day.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:18, closed)

That's how I feel right now.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:25, closed)

The Christmas hangover seems to start earlier every year, doesn't it?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:53, closed)

Mine started on Boxing day last year.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:15, closed)

But.. But.
It's Christmas!
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:55, closed)

People like you make me want to put up my tree in September.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:18, closed)

Just because you were sexually abused beneath the Christmas tree,
Don't spoil it for the rest of us you scrooges.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:09, closed)

Santa sure 'slipped him a sable'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:16, closed)

He definitely had his presents felt.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:21, closed)

He totally had an inappropriate and abusive sexual relationship with an older person in a position of responsibility.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:11, closed)

abused by
CONSUMERISM!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:16, closed)

well who took the mince out of your mince pie?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:28, closed)

This weekend I shall, along with my 7 year old daughter and 18 month old son be;
- Getting out the christmas tree, and the lights etc.

- Putting Santas, reindeers and various other tat around the place.

- Threading a set of LED lights around the tree in our front garden, attaching it to a timer so they are lit from 5pm till midnight.

- Turning our hallway into a frozen grotto, using white tinsel and 2 strings of blue LED lights.

And, we will fucking love every minute of it.
(username failed moderation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:36, closed)

To be fair
I utterly agree with you.

The fact that you HAVE to buy presents is a joke. Whats worse - is people ask what you want. So any hint of a 'gift' goes out of the window and replaced with 'buying people things'

Id rather keep the money, and buy things I want. Rather than tat that will inevitably get binned.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:54, closed)

You don't have to buy presents.
You can simply wish people a merry Christmas, and inform them that you haven't got them a present as you don't believe in the commercialisation of what is originally a Pagan festival celebrating the world's rebirth, actually.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:55, closed)

It's not just the gifts
it's the whole assumption that "It's christmas, so you WILL do these things, and you WILL feel this way about it, and you WILL find these things appealing and attractive." That's what bothers me. Even if it didn't cost a fortune, it would still piss me off.

I like fireworks. Some people don't. But if someone tells you "I don't do anything for November 5th / July 4th, because I don't really like fireworks.", no-one would think they were strange. They are optional celebrations. Try doing the same for christmas, and you get strange looks, or worse.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:59, closed)

This is all rather trite.
You're railing against something called tradition.

Assuming you like a good piss up, which night do you prefer to do it on - Tuesday, or Saturday? You could be cussed and say Tuesday, same as you can say 25th December is a random and arbitrary day for buying presents.

But it isn't. That's what the Christian world has decided to do, most of them enjoy it, and if you don't like it - fine, but there's nothing wrong with anyone who does.

If you want to sit at home and play Ratchet and Clank, I'm fine with that. Don't worry about what I'm doing though, if I want to be miserable swapping presents, eating like a pig and spending time with the family, it's my choice.
(username failed moderation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:05, closed)

Cheer up.
It's nearly Christmas.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:47, closed)

Why would this be a problem for you?
When you clearly have no friends.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:12, closed)

Bloody Muslims.
THE DAILY MAIL WAS RIGHT!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:53, closed)