France vs UK
I was over in France last week for a pre-christmas binge of croissants and vin rouge with my French mate Jean-Pierre. He's a good laugh, but like all French thinks that France is the best country and everyone else is scum.

When the snow came on Friday, we decided (after a few glasses of grape based restoratives) to fight it out with snowballs to see just which country was best. The results were inconclusive, so we decided that a target shoot out would be required. We set up some empty bottles on a bridge and went for it. Too easy - we both hit them all. So Jean-Pierre suggested a moving target - the high speed trains that passed nearby, so off we went to a railway bridge near a tunnel to see if we could get a line of sight.

We decided the target would be a little ventilation grille that they all seemed to have on the front of the locomotive. This finally separated the men from the boys. Jean-Pierre was rubbish, but I managed to hit 5 in a row! He was totally gutted, how I laughed...
(Mystery_Machine, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:03, 18 replies)

Bloody hell!
You irresponsible dolts! It's perfectly possible you could have got the Eurostar trains, and all this trouble could be YOUR fault!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:15, closed)

We are the best
It's not called The French Channel, is it?!

I think that's what he was getting at, Vagabond. At least I hope it's a joke...

But where's the Schadenfreude?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:28, closed)

I expect you realise that they don't call it the English Channel

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:39, closed)

I call it
the ever decreasing stretch of water seperating our landmass from the rest of the continent, doesnt have much of a ring to it though.

is it Schadenfreude (had to cut/paste that) if im lolling at all them people whinging on the radio as im driving home? Its not the fact that they've had holidays ruined (for this is shitty), but the fact that the toilets were described as "3rd world" and how many people "nearly died" cos they had to spend a few hours on a train (like none of us have ever been through that kind of harrowing escapade).

man up and enjoy the adventure!
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:47, closed)

Nearly died?!
Fucking hell, Man Up indeed.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:49, closed)

seriously
the people on newsbeat were saying the water and food ran out after a few hours, and conditions were appalling. then after 12 hours they had formed warring tribes and were drawing on the walls with their own poo, while the children had left the elders to dig to safety when they merged forces with the mole people and were just about to launch a takeover assualt when the emergency personnel arrived*


*(may be slightly embellished)


The trains arent designed to act as rudimentary self sufficient survival bunkers, the same would happen if you got locked in WH Smiths for a day and a half. why am i the only one not surprised at all this?
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:00, closed)

doesn't WHSmith have drinks and crisps and stuff as well?
I can't remember the last time I went in one. WHSmith is a shop for idiots
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:02, closed)

I
got one of them lighty up tinsel trees for the kitchen table from there, so its not all bad?

yeah they've got pop and shit, but it'd run out if you had loads of knackers gobbling up all the grub in the 1st few hours. Point is they HAD supplies but it was never meant to last a nuclear holocaust (as these whingy fuckers would have you believe it was).
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:06, closed)

those cunts deserve it frankly
the worst part would be being stuck there with all the whinging tossers. I'd have murdered the lot of them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:07, closed)

B3ta cross channel summer jaunt of murder?
Count me in!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 17:12, closed)

While I see your point.
Anyone who was diabetic, or dehydrated anyway, would have been in danger of dying. Try waking up with a hangover, then go 12+ hours without food or water, then come back and say nobody was in danger of dying.
As for the loos I, for one, would have just pissed in the corner of a carriage if needs be.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 18:57, closed)

Really?!
Cheeky fucking onion munchers! Please don't say they call it the Channel Francais, or whatever?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:51, closed)

La Manche
or in english speak, The Sleeve.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:59, closed)

Oooh
That sounds pretty sexy.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:00, closed)

La Manche
means The Sleeve apparently

edit: beat me to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:59, closed)

you
sleeve :P
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:07, closed)

Arf!

(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 17:12, closed)

Hehehe yes I know.
I was being silly.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 16:16, closed)