What do I need to say to make you STFU?
Last week my mother died. So I'm with my dad, trying to help him do all the things that need to be done. The phone rings, as it had been all morning, but this time it sounds like some kind of telesales. My father politely ends the call.

The phone immediately rings again. It's the same guy; again, my father attempts to disengage and ends the call. I tell him that you don't have to be so polite with these people.

Yet again the phone rings - this time I answer it. The drone at the other end starts with his script; I cut him off and tell him that we are not interested, and hang up.

You guessed it, he calls back. This goes on for several more calls, with me becoming less polite each time. I don't see what business it is of his, but eventually I tell him that we are dealing with a bereavement, so do not call back again.

Amazingly, that's not enough. We had to leave the phone to ring out before he got the message.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:43, 27 replies)

Are you in the UK?
We signed up for the Telephone Preference Service and we haven't had a telesales/cold/silent call since
( Peej, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:53, closed)

PPI reclaim companies appear to ignore TPS
I find that answering with "Hello, Trading Standards" puts a stop to unwanted calls very quickly.
(gordonjcp, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:56, closed)

there are many ways around the TPS
Even if you report a companying for ignoring it they'll do fuck all

I've only seen one occasion where the TPS fined a company for this, and they were making 25,000+ unsolicited calls per day
(quintsy, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:15, closed)

Usual way to bypass call preference is to claim they are not selling but are actually conducting a survey, if you say yes to doing the survey, this is taken as an implicit consent to having your details sold to the companies that they ask your opinion about.
I fell for this once and its taken several months to get these wankers to take my phone number off the lists they constantly sell to each other, I still get PPI calls and calls from India attempting to sell me financial services which I assume is a euphemism for PPI claimback.
Allegedly, this implicit consent loophole was supposed to be have been tightened up.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:08, closed)

you stupid wanker

(quintsy, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:08, closed)

^What she said^
It's free, but takes a month to take effect. After that, get the name of the company, tell them you're reporting them. Either they get done, or they remove you from their lists; either way no more calls.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:56, closed)

Got this on my phones but unfortunately
international companies fall outside of English law so they still ring, usually the same time each day. All sales calls involve a question early on. If I don't pick up that it's a telesales by the number recognition I answer their question by saying that the information they request is classified. If they persist repeat ad nauseum.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 14:34, closed)

On TPS I get the occasional PPI text, but that's it
I've had no unwanted calls lately apart from HR companies who are still working from a 5 year-old version of my CV - as an aside, it's quite nice to know that I could have spent the last 5 years doing fuck all and I'd still be employable
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 14:44, closed)

The TPS keeps most companies away

(ubergeekian, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 15:43, closed)

Had one of these calls recently.
The guy on the other end sounded African, I had time on my hands so I played along, wasting his time.

After a while I said "Can I just stop you there, I think you need to know that I'm a witch doctor and I can do juju down a 'phone line. I can see you as well"

He had the nerve to tell me to shut up and go away.
(Barnetboy, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 17:18, closed)

Silly billy
You should know that the White Man's Magic is stronger. Tell him his webcam is switched on and you can see him wanking.
(Rsoles, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 0:11, closed)

That is pretty weird.
to be so insistent.

I usually say, look, I know you're only trying to make a buck, but this is a really sad way to do it. Get a better job please.
( Ken Oath, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:58, closed)

You should feel sorry for the bloke calling you.
How was he supposed to know your mother had died?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:12, closed)

this is just another cunt for the dead mum club
I'm sick of being the only one who doesn't fit in around here
(quintsy, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:13, closed)

what if he was trying to sell you a new mum, eh?

(quintsy, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:12, closed)

You've been away too long, q.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:26, closed)

if this selfish prick had at least got the guy's number I might have been able to get new mum too
Part exchange like, cos mine's not dead
(quintsy, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 14:23, closed)

hmm
maybe his autodialler got stuck
(haberman is singing in the changes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 15:55, closed)

You must become less polite at an incredibly slow rate
I've never had anybody call back for a deeper explanation of how their parents are even more ashamed of their career than those of their prostitute daughters.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 17:36, closed)

keep a whistle by the 'phone

( 4Q just lurking, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:04, closed)

Why?
Is your dog the only one who knows which button to press?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:11, closed)

*office lols*

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:35, closed)

I had one call during the royal wedding
giving me the only opportunity I'll probably ever have to bray "HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECORUM? THE FUCKING WEDDING'S ON!"

I wasn't watching it like. But y'know, I could have been.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:57, closed)

*likes this*

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:44, closed)

Swear at them.
Be as offensive as you can. Generally stops them calling you and puts you on the list that doesn't get calls.

Don't make it personal, the person on the other end is just trying to earn a living. Rip the company and management to shreds though, they're fair game!
(WeeJen, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:43, closed)

I used to work for a company like that
One of my co workers had a go at me for not trying to sell a 2 year contract to a guy who had 3 months to live.

Never wanted to punch someone so bad.
(Mong goose, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:19, closed)

I had a call a week or so after Jess was killed
"Hello there, have you ever thought about life insurance?"
"Yes, I'm waiting for a claim to be processed right now actually, as my girlfriend was killed last week in a car accident"
"Oh... oh boy... errm... oh boy..." *hangs up*

With the survey ones I usually say I'll take the survey, then leave the phone off the hook while I continue whatever I was doing before they rang.

When people are selling something though, I've found an excellent way of getting them to never phone you again - tell them that you've just bought whatever they're selling. New kitchen, double glazing, whatever - if you tell them you've literally just got one last week then they know they've got no hope of convincing you and they won't waste your time with you.

Don't all start doing that though, coz then they'll all get wise to it...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:43, closed)