Drs Receptionists!
I've lost count of the number of times I've had to call the doctors for an appointment and been greeted with one of these lovely ladies(!)

They all seem to think that we're all worthless peons who are not worthy of bothering the Gods that they work for.

Drs receptionist: May I ask what's wrong?
Me: My head has fallen off!
Drs receptionist: Well, I don't think that's worth bothering the doctor with, take some paracetamol and call us in a week if you don't feel any better

(Not an actual conversation, but used to illustrate the level of frustration they cause!)
(quincinatorX, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 19:31, 21 replies)

Why would you talk to one of the desk plebs?
They've had automated telephone and internet booking for years.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 19:32, closed)

Not at my surgery, still in the stone age!
(quincinatorX, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:00, closed)

Did they have an NHS in the stone age?
I never really paid attention in history. The teacher had a really limp handshake so I lost all respect for him.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:56, closed)

Automated telephone booking is not the norm, Doc.
You might get an online booking service, but phoning up will almost invariably get you a human being (possibly after you navigate a few menu options).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:42, closed)

That wasn't a hand.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 3:31, closed)

it's called triage
it's just to help prioritise appointments by the seriousness of the problem.
You don't have to tell the receptionist what's wrong, but it speeds things up if you do
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 20:41, closed)

I understand that they need to triage, it's the attitude you get from them while they triage is the point I was trying to point out
(quincinatorX, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 7:32, closed)

Probably because of the amount of people ringing up trying to persuade them that the cold they've had for 5 hours is an urgent problem.
If they weren't strict then GPs would be overwhelmed.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:07, closed)

It's called triage ...
... and it's something in which doctor's receptionists have No Training Whatsoever. Doctors can do it. Nurses can do it. Receptionists bloody well can't.
(ubergeekian, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 22:45, closed)

I used to think this but then
I was informed that the mum of someone I know is one, so that stopped that kind of nonsense.

But seriously, I am one of the normal people and I would not be calling for an appointment unless my testicle was about to explode, thereby puncturing my vital organs with ball-shrapnel. However a lot of people do ring up because of non-existent symptoms imagined up after reading an online medical journal.

For example, after a heavy night on the booze my symptoms almost completely match up with a diagnosis of heavy metal poisoning (well almost, depends if I've had Iron Maiden on th' neet before).

Plus who knows how many Munchausens's are at loose.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:13, closed)

I have the same problem with people working in chemists.
If I ask for nytol I'm treated like a smack addict and subjected to a nazi style grilling. Don't even think about asking for co-codamol.
(The Curse of Millhaven. Pretty little mouth underneath all the foaming, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:02, closed)

I just picked up some co-codamol the other day and she didn't even raise an eyebrow.
Are you sure it's not the fact that you look and smell like a junkie?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:09, closed)

You don't sound very well.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:21, closed)

I love that you quantified a conversation about your head falling off...
...as being "not real" :D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 22:37, closed)

Well, I didn't want you to worry
(quincinatorX, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 7:21, closed)

Hahaha
:D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:37, closed)

Gosh you're quite right, they should just give an appointment to anyone who rings up. All those doctors are probably just sat around being bored anyway, they'd be glad to actually have some work.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 8:04, closed)

That reminds me of a visit to my local surgery.

Me - Hello if possible i'd like to make an appointment for today please.
Evil Witch - You'll have to phone in after 8:30 to book an appointment.
Me - but it's about 8:28 now, can't we just sort this out now?
Evil Witch - No you'll have to phone in at 8:30, we don't do this in person at the desk.
Me (at exactly 8:30, calling on my mobile phone whilst still stood at the reception desk & staring her straight in the eye) - Hello if possible i'd like to make an appointment for today please
(thisisian, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 13:49, closed)

I did that in Domino's pizza once
Well... not tried to make a doctor's appointment, obviously. There was a massive queue due to them being unexpectedly busy, and no-one could talk to the guy on the counter because he kept answering the phone instead. So I phoned him.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:38, closed)

I expect everyone else in the queue was doing the same.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 19:08, closed)

So true ^
A friend of mine had a heart attack in the car park of his doctor's surgery.

As he crawled on all foursto the reception desk the receptionist asked him if he had an appointment.
(Barnetboy, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 17:16, closed)