Emvees very touchy about his dad not loving him and his mum being a prostitute, he'll have you on ignore if you've ever dared to mention those
or that time when he looked like a right prick wearing a crazy balloon in a pub full of otherwise normal people

www.flickr.com/photos/james_godwin/5772615168/in/pool-77617660@N00/

don't mention his comedy t-shirts either or he'll stick you on ignore
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:12, 3 replies)

i don't even know an emvee

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:14, closed)

Hi, I'm Emvee
don't mind Rory, he's a tedious prick
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:26, closed)

stop prostituting your widowed mother

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:32, closed)

13

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:17, closed)

14

(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:29, closed)

        
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:01, closed)

Man, you're a stupid cunt

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:52, closed)

you look like you're in a steven hawking chair in that photo.
were you in a steven hawking chair?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:53, closed)

Fuck knows, I was drunk

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:54, closed)

fair do's.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:00, closed)

That's a pretty good excuse for being a massive prick.
"NO! I'M NOT A MASSIVE PRICK! I'M DRUNK!"
Sounds like being a massive prick with a problem to me.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)

Oh you're back from your little trip to banland, are you?
Still constantly surprised that I don't wear a morning suit and a solemn expression at b3ta bashes? Still wanking yourself daft over every picture of me you can find?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:23, closed)

blimey.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:29, closed)

Is there going to be an internet fight?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 23 May 2012, 12:30, closed)

It's only a fight if both participants are evenly matched
As it is, it seems to be me versus a retarded interspastic who's obsessed with pictures of me from past b3ta bashes and pointing out that I look silly. While wanking himself daft over them.

Not that I mind, overmuch, it's like having my own cripplingly stupid version of Heat magazine.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:09, closed)

Christ.
The "massive prick" thing is looking more likely already.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29, closed)

Is there a version of Heat magazine
that isn't cripplingly stupid, then?
I've often wondered, given that Boyd Hilton is sometimes on Radio 4, if there might not actually be a highbrow version of said periodical, stocked in only the most prestigious of newsagents.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:43, closed)

In a Panglossian way I have to imagine that the contents of Heat magazine are a little bit more sophisticated than
"LOL Emvee wore a T-shirt ROFL"
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:52, closed)

Emvee in a t-shirt, with a balloon on his head.
A woman in a bikini, with cellulite.

It's all much the same - someone's getting jeered at, for the crime of daring to appear in public, either way.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)

That's what these /talk fatties are really afraid of
appearing in public
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)

I'm not fat!
I'm just big boned.
*sob* Pass the Chunky Monkey...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:48, closed)

Listen man, I'm not your mother and I aint here to dress you
Comedy t-shirts mark you out as a knob that's all. Somebody should really have broken this news to you before, perhaps not down forbidden planet but elsewhere.

Cheers emvs
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:52, closed)

Look, I know you're desperately jealous of people who do things that you can't
Like leaving the house without a carer or typing without having to use a head dobber, but you've just got to get over it, Rory.

I know you're incapable of dressing yourself, and that tends to spill out into venom against people who can, but it's you who has to learn to live with it, not me.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:51, closed)

i like how adding stark to your username makes you a superhero

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:08, closed)

No, no it doesn't

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:16, closed)

but it definitely makes you pimp out your own widowed mother?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:18, closed)

I hate to repeat myself, but
man, you're a stupid cunt
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:24, closed)

Transformers are shit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:25, closed)

Oh noes

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)

especially the comics

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29, closed)

Sturgeon's law

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:36, closed)

Does you're mum ever come in with the spunk of strangers dribbling down her leg, fix you in her gaze and spit, with pure animosity, "It should have been you."?
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:40, closed)

Hahahaha hahahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:42, closed)

I think the fucking prick has me on ignore.
On account of he's a fucking prick.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:44, closed)

Also, MB says you need a new username.
How about "Simon L Fluid"?
Or not. It's a bit waki.
How about "Lino-Chutney"?
Dunno what it means but it dunt sound nice.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:46, closed)

What about
Inky Pinky Ponky Daddy Bought a Donkey
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:51, closed)

This one too apparently
"Does you're mum ever come in with the spunk of strangers dribbling down her leg, fix you in her gaze and spit, with pure animosity, "It should have been you."?
I'm going to assume she does. Unless she's some sort of retard."
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:03, closed)

Cheers, bloke.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:10, closed)

Looks like he's flounced off.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:13, closed)

Wow, thanks

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:14, closed)

Please answer the question.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33, closed)

personality horse would like you to answer the question

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)

One retard at a time, please

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:38, closed)

who is this to?
sorry i'm lost here
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)

That's not my problem

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

is that to me or PH?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

just think if you'd been a better son and had a better job
you wouldn't need to pimp out your own widowed mother to pay for all those superhero belt buckles
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:28, closed)

Nope, you're still nowhere near
Do you wanna keep trying?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29, closed)

Take a look at that photo, though, right. And imagine your hardest that it isn't you.
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:34, closed)

I think Personality Horse tried to tell you the following, but suspects that you have him on Ignore
"Take a look at that photo, though, right. And imagine your hardest that it isn't you.
Does that chap look like a good person to you? Or a massive prick? Because, here's the bad news right, he IS a massive prick who only gets out when there's a bash for his needy forum chums.
In a fucking in joke comedy tee shirt.
With a novelty balloon on his head."
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:54, closed)

Ta.
Can you do the one about his mum with cum dribbling down her legs too, for me?
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:00, closed)

Yes, I have Personality Horse on ignore because I'm tired of hearing about his shit "band"
But please congratulate him for extrapolating all that from one photo of me from a b3ta bash in which comedy balloon hats were being made (not by me, but by another old-school b3tan) and passed around. I'm obviously dealing with a person of Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction here. (Can you emphasise the sarcasm in that last part please?)

You can reassure Personality Horse that I get out plenty, as I have "chums" beyond the reach of this forum, and that the b3ta bash is far from my only source of social interaction for the year but it's the only one from which that stupid prick Rory Lyon can find photographs to post in unrelated QOTW answers.

Might I further suggest that if Personality Horse wants to criticise my appearance based on a snapshot taken at a party that he post some pictures of himself so that we all might judge?

And finally, could I point out that since I have Personality Horse on ignore I'm not really interested in his opinion, and that by reposting it you seem to be nothing more than another shit-for-brains trolling cunt?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:13, closed)

i'm glad you cleared all this up
i respect you now that you have pointed out that you don't care what personality horse thinks
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:16, closed)

ROFLERS!

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:31, closed)

personality horse said
'ROFLERS!' to this
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)

I read the 'And Finally' in a John Craven voice
Why are you so upset? And isn't it a little hypocritical to call me names when you don't know me? Look, it's a lovely day outside, why not go out an enjoy the sunshine, yeah? Peace.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:17, closed)

I'm not upset, I'm fucking loving this
If the dregs of the internet like Personality Horse are crawling out of the woodwork to insult me, I must be doing something right.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:21, closed)

Ok, well I'm glad to hear it
Because some might say that explaining that you've got loads of friends, getting oversensitive about photos of yourself and calling people you don't know 'shit-for-brains trolls' makes you come across as a bit of a prick. But don't shoot the messenger, eh.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:24, closed)

I'm beginning to see why his dad hates him and his mum got driven to prostitution

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:28, closed)

I'm beginning to see why you idolise me

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:34, closed)

Those people would be cripplingly retarded, autistic cunts
Who delight in posting pictures of people to public forums in an attempt to embarrass them, or post comments on said pictures, or repost comments from ignored users on said pictures because they just want to be involved somehow.

I'm still vaguely flattered that all of you in interfatty land are wanking yourself daft over pictures of me, but isn't it time you got yourselves girlfriends or something? Otherwise I could, I dunno, post a new picture of myself a week - maybe even something not from a b3ta bash - and you could spluff yourselves into oblivion?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)

A picture of you not at a bash?
Who'd take it?
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:34, closed)

personality horse says 'a picture of you at a bash?
who'd take it?'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)

You sad twat

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)

PH, Emvee says 'You sad twat'
I think he's saying it to me, but it might be to you, he didn't specify
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)

"Hey Emvee"
"A fat balding prick said: A picture of you not at a bash?
Who'd take it?"

LOL
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35, closed)

you're not supposed to take the piss out of yourself
when there are so many other people here to do it for you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)

I'm better at it than you

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)

don't put yourself down, Iron Manvee

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

Ahahaha
Yeah, definitely better than you
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:54, closed)

i'm glad you pointed that out
i wasn't sure
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:58, closed)

you don't sound like your embarrassed at all
still at least you've got a pretend girlfriend and lots of offline chums so you'll always be the real winner on the internet emvs
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36, closed)

And that's why you can't leave me alone

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:37, closed)

Please let us know if you decide to put Two Hats on ignore, so his posts can be re-posted for you too.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:25, closed)

AHAHAHA!
You seem to have misunderstood how the ignore button works.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, closed)

Let's see some pictures then, fatty

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)

hey wait a minute there woah
don't take the mickey out of peoples weight in my thread, thats out of order
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

Ah, another fatty
I knew it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

i'm very sensitive about my weight, please don't pick on me because of it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:42, closed)

I'm not picking on you because of your weight
I'm picking on you because you're breathtakingly stupid. Oh, and too fat to leave the house, but we'll get to that.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44, closed)

this is really hurtful and mean, i don't like the way the tone of this thread has changed
are you menacing me? i feel like i'm being menaced

could somebody gaz a mod please?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:46, closed)

Gaz all you like
I'm not trapped in here with you, you're all trapped in here with me.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)

I'm not upset.
I'm not upset.
I'M NOT UPSET.
I AM NOT UPSET

n   n  ooo  ttttt     u   u pppp   ssss eeeee ttttt
nn  n o   o   t       u   u p   p s     e       t
n n n o   o   t       u   u pppp   sss  eee     t
n  nn o   o   t       u   u p         s e       t
n   n  ooo    t        uuu  p     ssss  eeeee   t

_honest
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:45, closed)

You are upset
Otherwise we'd be looking at pictures of a bald overweight man right now
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47, closed)

Please,
no pictures of baldmonkey Personality Horse - I've not recovered from the last time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:01, closed)

Thing is, though, the things rory just said are all like actually true,
whereas you're just making bollocks up.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:30, closed)

you do look like a prick.
soz.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:13, closed)