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This is a question Sex Toys

Lanternchikk asks "How about a vibrant and stimulating discussion on sex toys?" What do you use to get off, and has it ever gone wrong? And yes, we've heard that urban myth, thank you.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:33)
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Not sure if this counts
But I once dated a man who turned out to have a prosthetic hand, having lost his left hand, just above the writst, in a farm machinery accident.

I don't think I can adequately describe the feeling as he used his stump to pleasure me from behind (more comfortable for both of us). It felt like an enormous, ever-rigid, 10-inch cock. And even once Kevin had wanked himself off, he could continue thrusting long into the night – or afternoon one time.

He was a lovely guy and we had lots of fun, but I called it day eventually, as we really had nothing in common, beyond the joy we gave each other in the bedroom.

And when people ask you “What on earth do you see in him?”, I realised that the answer was: “His stumpy left arm” which even I had to admit was probably not a sound basis for a long term relationship.

Still…I do miss that arm sometimes.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:11, closed)
Who says romance is dead?
On the other hand
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:21, closed)
It was nothing serious, just a bit of 'armless fun.

(, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:03, closed)
He spends night and day,
pleasuring you with his stump, then gets to wank himself off? Are you Catholic, or something?
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:26, closed)
So he pleasured you, after wanking himself off - but you gave each other joy?
Sounds like he got dealt a crap hand there.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:27, closed)
When you say he 'turned out' to have a prosthetic hand,
at what point was it not obvious?
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33, closed)
You've got to hand it to him really
then again, if it was me, i'd be up in arms...
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33, closed)
I bet he always felt a right tit

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33, closed)
Well
We did do other things too, but they wouldn't fit in this topic, so you'll have to use your dirty imaginations.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39, closed)
Handy!

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40, closed)

-y

+kerchief
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 23:52, closed)
Perhaps you shouldn't have given him the elbow?

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:45, closed)
Man
you TOTALLY missed the chance to go to kids' parties and pretend to be a ventriloquist act.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:56, closed)
Haaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:10, closed)
Agreed...

Best one yet.

*Claps hand*
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:15, closed)
Ha!
That's excellent.

Mummy, mummy, look! A ventr... venitro... man with a talking dolly!
*schlorp*
Waaaaaaaah...
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:20, closed)
hahahaha...
all very Zen.....

What is the sound of one hand...fapping?
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:26, closed)
Excellent!

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:05, closed)
Best reply ever!

(, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:11, closed)
Winner

(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:45, closed)
Cheap joke
Brings new meaning to the term "A swift one off the wrist"
(, Thu 24 May 2012, 7:39, closed)

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