My sex misconceptionsFreddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
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chthonic, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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In truthI was pretty clued up about the birds and the bees from a young age. My mum is fantastically creative and rather than go for some old hat method of explaining it all, she took 6 of my sister's dolls and told me each of these young girls represented an important rule of making a baby.
Doll # 1 (a mermaid Barbie, I think). Her name was Aya. She represented love. You should love the one you wish to have a child with.
Doll # 2 (an old Cindy with an arm missing). Her name was Freja. She represented truth. You should always be honest with the mother to your child.
Doll # 3 (...well, this was an Action Man. My sis was a bit of a tomboy at times). "Her" name was Delores. She represented prosperity. You should work hard and be prosperous in order to raise your child with a good work ethic.
Doll # 4 (Cabbage Patch Doll). Her name was Eliza. She represented health. Remain in good health so when you try for a baby, it will more likely be healthy.
Doll # 5 (Optimus Prime. The bitch nicked my Optimus Prime). "She" was called Helena. She represented humour. Learn to laugh in life. It will make your partner and your baby enjoy you more.
Doll # 6 (nondescript little plastic girl). Last and not least we had Maria. She represented longetivity. To do as told by the other 5 girls and keep doing it to ensure that from the moment you decide to try for a child up to the day that child walks out of your front door as an adult, the entire process is purely good and beautiful.
So thanks to this little talk, I had no trouble understanding sex.
And it was all thanks to my Six Miss. Conceptions.
*bends over and waits for the punishment*
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 12:46, 3 replies)
BravoBest pun this QOTW
(, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:37, closed)
I actually think that's really nice. As bullshit goes, it's quite effective.
(, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 12:44, closed)
Since you're bent over*smacks bottom soundly*
(, Sat 27 Sep 2008, 16:18, closed)
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