My sex misconceptionsFreddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
(
chthonic, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
« Go Back
I was wrongThere are a couple of truly bizarre misconceptions I had that I had completely forgotten about.
When I was very young, before I was 5 at least, every woman I ever saw who was wearing a low enough neckline, had cleavage. Two breasts pressed together. No evidence of Playtex lift & seperate action whatsover.
For some reason, I could not picture the skin inbetween, what would be revealed if a woman took her top off to exhibit her sternum. I simply could not imagine what it would look like.
Consequently, my pre-school imagination conjured up the only conclusive image it could. There was no skin. The bit where the breasts were pushed together was not covered in skin at all.
I imagined it would be like a dark-brown, patchy, necrotic fleshless area, which I reckoned would get really sore if the breasts weren't pushed together to keep the area covered.
(
sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 2:29,
2 replies)
Didthat kinda turn you off tits for a while? Were you happy to find out this is not the case, or just weirded out that bigger boys wanted to lick it?
(, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 2:43, closed)
tbh,Being 5, my new pedal-car was the most important thing in my life and by the time I took an interest in boobs, I already had worked out the truth.
Good job really, otherwise a tit-wank would be just gross.
(
sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 2:58,
closed)
« Go Back