It was all going so well.
Venice. Girlfriend. Balmy weather. Delicious food in outdoor cafes. Romantic walks. The canals. Gondola. Girlfriend lying back in gondola, totally blissed out. Pigeon shat into her open mouth.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:18, 19 replies)

That's good luck that is.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:20, closed)

Not at the time.

( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:35, closed)

Sexy as fuck.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:21, closed)

or not, as it turned out.

( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:36, closed)

come on, man
everybody loves a cloaca-shot
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:43, closed)

haha!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:21, closed)

Winner.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:30, closed)

You're going out with...
Ashley Young?
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:49, closed)

Sorry,
never heard of him/her.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 20:51, closed)

ooff.

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 21:22, closed)

Smashing stuff.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 22:01, closed)

I feel guilty
for reading this in the voice of Ron Manager.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 22:11, closed)

Yeah, right.
"Sorry, love, that was... er... a pigeon. No, I was just scratching my leg."
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Mon 18 Aug 2014, 22:32, closed)

You should have told her it was gondolier's jizz.
Might have made her feel a bit better.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 1:47, closed)

not as good, but on a similar theme
when i was about 21, my friend's older manthing had a flat in tenerife, which he let us use for a long weekend. we were lying around the pool in the sun, and i was blissfully asleep, when she started screeching. one of the wild green parrots had swooped low over the sunbed and shat right in her ear...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 9:21, closed)

you
should have just told her it was you jizzing in her mouth - she would have gobbled it up, the dirty jizz hungry whore that she is.
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 9:45, closed)

I feel somewhat plagiarized.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 12:55, closed)

YOU feel plagiarized?
Christ, last time I bother to attempt subtlety on here.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Wed 20 Aug 2014, 6:13, closed)

excellent.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 19 Aug 2014, 11:16, closed)