O! Brother
One night, my twin brother and I went out on the lash in Hull. He lived in the city centre at the time so after a skinfull, I went back to his to crash on his floor. I was awoken at around 5am with him standing over me, apparently getting his cock out.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I asked him.

"Shut up," he told me.

He then started weeing. I'm usually slow to wake, but this time I managed to throw myself clear of the stream with cat-like agility, catching maybe a cupful of piss on my shoulder, arm and in my hair.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I demanded again, but he ignored me and went happily on pissing all over my airbed.

Now his fiancee came in to see what the commotion was. She quickly concluded he was asleep and set about trying to guide him back to bed. She turned him around and I could see that his expression was plainly vacant.

However, he appraised me and then seemed to think for a second, and then lunged at me, asking me what exactly my fucking problem was. I beat a retreat, and went to run a bath whilst his other half put him back in his bed.

The next day he had absolutely no recollection of the incident and refused to believe a word of it until I'd shown him the soaked bedding.

His response? "Er... Sorry."

So there you go - pissed on and started on by my own twin brother, whilst he was asleep.
(Stevie_Bee, Sat 25 Aug 2007, 5:16, Reply)