Repossession
I worked as an estate agent for a while in the 90's, and was showing a repossessed house Houghton Regis, just north of Dunstable. I arrived 10 minutes early to look around, as I hadn't been there before.
The house looked bad. I mean newspaper and pornos all over the floor, holes in walls, a piss soaked mattress (with helpful graffiti next to it with an arrow and the words 'a finely piss soaked mattress').
I made the stupid mistake of opening the oven. Bad idea. Before leaving, the occupants had carefully curled out a turd into a pan and left it to bake. I turned and lost my lunch onto a copy of the Sun and a copy of Fiesta.
(Redbull_(UK) pfffft, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 12:30, 5 replies)

Who were you showing it to?
blind anosmiacs?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 12:40, closed)

In Dunstable, such a house is considered upmarket.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 12:50, closed)

I still maintain it was a bargain.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 12:42, closed)

I remember being shown round a house that was in a similar state of disarray,
clearly hadn't been cleaned in years, previous owner had either died or been committed. For some reason, it stank of onions.
Think this was in the Luton area.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 13:09, closed)

I remember...
When I was house hunting with ex-gf in a in Sidcup Kent, the resident allowed his dog to shit on the carpet and had obviously then walked it in like splattered onion bhajis, that and a the second layer of dog hair covering it and the stench of urine.
The smell was barf inducing, the key thing I remember most aside from his massive collection of film cans (Yewtree'esq no doubt) was the statement 'ohh, I had the house rewired a year ago'.
Now to some that would be seen as a plus point, except the cretin had rewired the house on top on the plaster and simply wallpapered over it.

I puked as I walked out on his front step on my exit.

I have no idea how the agent managed to keep his guts when showing people round.

Urgh....
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 17 Jan 2014, 17:14, closed)