Now as you know I am sans bumole
Now whatever part of the large intestine they removed must have been solely responsible for removing the foulest smells from your shit leaving it only moderately gag-tastic.

The effluence that currently emerges from my body could be sold to the Syrian rebels and used to wipe out a small city. Just stick one of my used bags into a catapult device and launch into an offending city and watch the fuckers come out waving white flags quicker than the french with the 3rd Reich on their doorstep.

The worst is hangover bag, it is the smell of satan's breath himself. Now usually there are little filters that let the gas out and they actually filter out the smell but when they get wet they stop releasing gas. So I wake up in the morning with a bag like the Hindenburg. Now imagine how bad one hangover fart is, I've got a bag of the fuckers. Nothing will induce vomiting quicker than a bag of hangover farts/shit.

tl:dr, No bumhole, bags smell of death.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 10:00, 30 replies)

Oh, the humanity!
Try lighting the bag, for science.
(squigbobble existed, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 10:37, closed)

HAHA I have already
Yes I can confirm it was like a methane powered blow torch. I started to panic when I realized the bag was on fire. PS, hitting a shit filled bag to put a fire out. Not smart.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 10:45, closed)

actual lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 11:06, closed)

Hahaha.
You jebber.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 11:27, closed)

I actually have a poor poor video of it on my phone
I for some reason narrate in a slightly camp German doctors accent. JA!
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 12:43, closed)

All scat porn should be narrated in camp German.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 12:49, closed)

Yeah the church of fudge scarred me for life.

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 12:51, closed)

I think the traditional way
of dealing with that is to put it on the neighbours doorstep, ring his bell then run away.
(username failed moderation, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 12:56, closed)

^ geniune lolz
Thanks :)
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 15:49, closed)

WINNER!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 11:47, closed)

I hope this wins

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 12:12, closed)

If you're not seeing anyone at the moment
can I move in with you?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 21 Jan 2014, 13:12, closed)

well theres not much room
what with all the bags of poo and cats.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 13:44, closed)

You keep your cats in bags?

( .Yeti., Tue 21 Jan 2014, 15:52, closed)

its far easier and the poo keeps the warm

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Wed 22 Jan 2014, 10:44, closed)

i wish you'd post a sans bumhole story every week
this to win!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 13:31, closed)

They should scrap /qftw altogether and introduce /namelesshasnoarsehole instead.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:01, closed)

Weekly tales of my adventures with no barking spider

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:06, closed)

I think he should have his own TV show.
The adventures of No Bumhole Man.

No Bumhole Man: 'My stoma senses are tingling - someone's in trouble! To the poomobile!'
Woman in distress: 'Help me no bumhole man, I'm being robbed!'
No Bumhole Man: 'Have no fear lady, I'll save you!
SPLAT!
PARP!
SQRRRRRRRRT!
No Bumhole Man: 'JUSTICE!'
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:09, closed)

About time that Toxic Crusader was revived for TV.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:12, closed)

Oh my dear christ
I just broke in to full on face streaming tears of laughter in front of my bewildered office at the sheer thought of the no bumole man TV show!
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:16, closed)

Can anyone animate to a good level, we have something viral on our hands.........

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:18, closed)

You should probably wash them, then.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 14:26, closed)

No but I feel I should be entitled to a hefty cut of any profits

( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 15:29, closed)

probably correct there.

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Wed 22 Jan 2014, 8:59, closed)

You mean...
No Bumhole Man: 'My stoma senses are tingling - someone's in trouble! To the poomobile!'
Pissboy (sidekick): 'You mean your Honda Accord?'
No Bumhole Man: '...Yes.'
(McChinaman banned, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 23:07, closed)

"I contend we are both bumhole-less. I just have one fewer bumhole than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible bumholes, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 15:18, closed)

Deep.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 15:49, closed)

Well I CAN fit a king size Toblerone up there.

(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 18:24, closed)

You're the man that Gonz will at one level never be, but on another, probably will be.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 18:55, closed)