Unfortunately I have yet to make a faux pas on a social networking site...
...might as well stop reading now ay? However I have been precariously close not lest because I went to a gobshite moron filled comprehensive school in Medway and my former foes/schoolmates are now adding me as friends on Facebook.

Most of the time I just enjoy browsing their profiles, mocking silently because they have had multiple children, look like the back end of a bus and are still living in the same place and doing the same job etc etc.

One thing I don't understand about people is the desire to get photographs taken professionally; especially if they are in a couple. What is the appeal in getting cheesy studio based photos of you larking around with your spouse taken by some pro who is laughing all the way to the bank?? Anyway I have encountered a myriad amount of these Godawful studio pics from 'friends' who feel it is their duty to parade themselves to the nation. One girl from my year has turned into a slaggy page 3 wannabe. You know the type; every photo is of her and her moron friends sipping brightly coloured cocktails and dry humping bouncers. Their page is filled with 'hilarious' catty quotes about drinking and shopping and being blonde and how your boyfriend wants to shag them.

Anyway she actually has tacky 'model profile' shots of her in shiny bikinis and humping sofas while doing sultry sex faces. Underneath all that make-up she still has a face like Droopy the bloodhound and a fairly average body that looks like its had a few too many coats of Ronseal.

ANYWAY I know that this is all irrelevant and off topic but I once stumbled across a page set up for a former school chum entitled "Free John Smith*". Yes, hilariously, someone I used to go to school with has been sent to prison. The page is full of messages from supporters quoting "O my God itz wel unfare he didnt even do nofin I luv u John!!!!" etc. It transpires that John was sent to prison for bottling someone in the face. Truly a blatant case of misjustice.

So...imagine the temptation I have when I roll in drunk some nights and end up on the computer. The times I have been dangerously close to typing "Your thighs look fat in this photo" or just "Bruiser" on elSlagys profile and "LOL" on the free Deirdre Rachid page. One day it will happen. And I don't think I will even be sorry...




*May not be his real name
(Eldoofus, Sun 14 Sep 2008, 0:02, 3 replies)

this has brought back a flashback
did a drunken rant on friendsreunited about 6 years ago, too ashamed to go back and see what it was as nearly a day had passed by the time i remembered i'd written it.
(Brumdee, Sun 14 Sep 2008, 23:26, closed)

upbury manor?
grim indeed.
but the comment about looking like she'd had too many coats of ronseal made me laugh :)
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 1:21, closed)

Not Upbury Manor
but you're getting close. Does exactly what it says on the tin
(Eldoofus, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 19:01, closed)