Sometimes they don't realize their gaffes.
Take this one for instance: richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/843636860.html

(Worksafe, but will make you chuckle.)

I mean, come on. After reading that, the LAST thing I want is for her to open her box!

The scary part is that she's not really one of the worst ones I've seen. I go cruising through there now and then for the same reason that people slow down and look over car wrecks.

Let's see...

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/843830660.html I spent several minutes trying to decipher this one before I gave up.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/842320842.html Nothing says class like hanging out in gym shorts on your front porch. Especially in a new subdivision where the land still looks wounded.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/842131092.html I'm pretty sure I don't have what it takes.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/841271476.html I thought that prostitution was illegal here...

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/839664480.html I think she needs to speak up a little.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/837305049.html Must like fleas and enjoy having your underwear devoured.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/838584977.html I bet she wears a flannel nightie buttoned to the chin and doesn't even wrinkle the sheets.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/830476767.html Yeah. Good luck with that. Every man wants a 19 year old single mom, especially if he's hott. Im sure u wan 2 gett 2 no her. I know I do, just so I can swat her upside the head and teach her to spell.

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/830229835.html Okay, see that big dust cloud moving away from you at high speed? That's every man in the city, running as hard as he can.

Honestly, people- do you even read what you're writing in these ads?!?

EDIT: I especially like this exchange:

richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/844852989.html Original post
richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/845002457.html Response (not by me).
richmond.craigslist.org/w4m/845480768.html Rebuttal! (Doesn't she sound charming?)

Oh SNAP!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:10, 16 replies)

Tread carefully.............
She sounds like an Emo.

Contact her and before you know it, you'll be inundated with copies of her crud poetry, MP3's of equally crud emo bands ("My Chemical Romance", anyone?) and pictures of her new scars*.

* = Which she inflicted on herself.
(The Stig, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:26, closed)

I think the last one should learn how to break up a sentence
"I especially like speedway love"

oo-er missus!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:55, closed)

ah
they're great :-) inspired me to check out my local craigslist listings for amusement value.

1. athensga.craigslist.org/w4m/843879398.html - believe me love, agressive men are not in short supply here...

2. athensga.craigslist.org/m4w/843948495.html - I thought this was written by a penis from the title.

3. athensga.craigslist.org/m4w/839974586.html - you'll never understand women.
( ascorbate, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:00, closed)

oh
and I've found a partner for number 4
athensga.craigslist.org/m4w/833968808.html
( ascorbate, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:03, closed)

A classic...
This beaut appeared on Craigslist recently. It's been "flagged for removal", but proved so popular that the text is all over the intertubes.

Is it real? Is it a wind up? Is it even possible? You decide...

----------------

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, “MORE”, “HARDER”, “YES”, “FUCK ME”, but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like “OH GOD”, “YES”, OR “IT HURTS” no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like “Thanks”, “It was great”, “I loved it”, “Don’t stop”

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.
(apologies_for_length, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:36, closed)

Ayup. Made Best Of, too.
www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

Almost as fun as this one: www.craigslist.org/about/best/tor/763102764.html

This one gives me the creeps, though: www.craigslist.org/about/best/atl/806134244.html
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:52, closed)

yes!!!!
This was on Best Of Craigslist, still on there.

Love it.

I have soooo many craiglist stories (that I've posted or friends have posted) but I am drunk right now so they will have to wait...
(little fawn, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:54, closed)

Iv had a look..
Found a guy who was looking for people to come to a party and everyone would shit in his mouth

Yummy
(i should have joined myspace, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:02, closed)

You should
steer him toward 4chan, then...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:12, closed)

"I love to have fun."
Fucking morons.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:15, closed)

"I want to be treated like a princess"
Does that include being driven into a tunnel at high speed and not emerging from the other end?

/Hull
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:04, closed)

I think I may
need to steal that line for future use. Even the woman who shares my office here thought that was a good response.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:52, closed)

"Christian men need only apply"
In other words, "Christian men don't have to do anything more than apply. As soon as they've put their head above the parapet, I'll bang 'em like the nails in Jeebus' hands."
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:33, closed)

I've always thought
a good web app would be one that trawled through personals, and matched people up automatically.

I remember the Jimmy Carr joke, where he placed a personal saying "Albino He-She seeks similar". He said if he got 2 replies, he'd put them in touch, they wouldnt believe their luck.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:57, closed)

Pardon?
Thick, curvy and disease free? Bet theyre queuing round the block for that one
(i should have joined myspace, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:03, closed)

In this case
"thick" is meant to refer to her body, not her skull. A more realistic word would be "fat", but that has too many bad connotations. So does "hefty", "chubby", "rotund" and all the others I can come up with. "Reubenesque" has become a comedy tag line.

On second thought. I think the word "thick" is appropriate in all its meanings.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:11, closed)